Why can’t we all just get a little more fighting in?
One of my favorite things to do while on vacation is to go to movies with my son. Because no one appreciates the low cost of going to a movie more than a son that thinks we can just buy a new TV if he accidentally chucks a video game controller right through the screen(he hasn’t done it yet, but he’s trying). For instance, I bet you didn’t know that for only 2000 pennies, you can receive your very own cup, and for just 2000 more pennies you can get a great big heaping of carbonated sugar water that will go to utter waste in only two hours. Then if you are lucky, they will take the kernels off some corn on the cob, dry them up, force them to come out of their shells, then drown them into a some yellow butter flavored liquidy stuff on there for another 300 dimes.
What more could you ask for when you are only paying $12 per person to experience the amazing LD quality screens and sticky gum filled floors only available in the comfort of your home? My favorite part is that you only get the reminders of not getting to use your cell phones every other minute. Who wouldn’t want an illegal copy of a terrible movie recorded from a cell phone, right?
Sometimes you get so mad at someone that you completely take out your aggression on a shark.
After watching the latest X-Men movie with the boy, I asked him how he liked it. Even at the advanced age of 6, he could tell the movie was terrible because there wasn’t “enough fighting”. Sure there was a baseball stadium completely ripped from the ground and placed around the White House like a castle wall. And yeah, there was the almost complete extinction of the X-Men and humans in the future, but there just wasn’t enough fighting. There was just too much “talk” about fighting. Mutants vs. Humans. Mutants vs. Mutants. Mutants vs. Sentinals. US vs. Vietnam. Mutants vs. JFK. Why can’t we just start a fist fight for goodness sake instead of just talking about it?
Much better than talking or resolving issues.
What I want to know is why can’t we just do more realistic films. Films where we get slighted over and over again, and we just think about the terrible things but just not do them and become bitter? And why do all these movies have so much conflict? Why can’t we have more bitter films where the bad guy just keeps getting away with it and the good guys just play it safe for once. Not be the hero. Or better yet, how about we do a film about the bystander in NYC that “had a good run”, but in the end, just became one of the collateral damage of the heroes winning and destroying half of New York. What about those guys? Hey, maybe that guy just wanted to follow his dream of being a rock star, but just never got the courage up, and just happened to be a bystander when the Transformers were fighting in the streets of LA? Or he was going to get his 2 year accounting certificate so he could make $2 hour more so he could get a 65 inch plasma, but was caught in the streets of DC when the GI Joes and Cobras were fighting?
What about the life of Sitting in the Stadium Guy? Why is his bitterness any less interesting?
They say actions are louder than words(as you can tell by the volume of Action movies) and pictures are worth a thousand words (so how much are moving pictures worth) so that means that Action movies are loud and really wordy. In the end, can’t we all just stop fighting in Action movies(punching, kicking, sword fighting, gun shooting) and fighting in Romantic “Comedies” (accusing, backstabbing, confronting, cheating, breaking up, moving away) and just be a little more civially..bitter at each other? Why does every movie have to have Conflict and Resolution? Why can’t we just leave the bitterness intact deep down and not resolve it every time?
Movies…
ARRRRRGGGGHHHH
Bitter Non Confrontational Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
You need to see a Woody Allen movie. They talk a lot. As far as I can tell, Woody’s issues never get resolved. They always seem to reappear in the next movie.
LikeLike
I’ve seen Woody Allen movies and they make me bitter. Especially when he is in them. They talk way too much and there aren’t enough explosions.
LikeLike
I thought XMen was a porn movie about male homosexuals.
Hmm, I guess when I saw people taking their children to it that should have been a dead giveaway. How bitterly disappointing.
LikeLike
It’s always a bitter thing when you have high hopes for a flick and you get some other crap.
LikeLike
Hang on, movie popcorn changed in every possible way once they started putting out flavor powders. Have you ever sprinkled enough Buffalo wing powder on the popcorn that you can taste it? Probably not, because as soon as you sprinkle enough to taste it, you’ve sprinkled so much that it’ll produce a cloud of chili powder that attacks your eyes and nose every time you get within three feet of the popcorn, but if you could taste it, it’d be pretty great.
LikeLike
That’s when movies started making tons of money even when they were bad and started being called Popcorn movies.
LikeLike
I recently slept through the new X-Men movie. The conflict was that I was somewhat bored and really didn’t care about what happened, and I resolved it taking a theater chair snooze.
LikeLike
I bet your boyfriend was so glad your head was on his shoulder supporting his love of Mutant Conflict. I bet he can’t wait to go to Malifecent with you.
LikeLike
Lol I love this. I think, since Marvel is now owned by Disney, they should do a Disney short before the next Avenger movie. It can just be 20 minutes building up this guys back story, all his hopes and dreams, and then he gets killed accidentally when Captain America’s shield bounces off an enemy and cracks his head. Roll credits.
LikeLike
Yeah, everyone is bitter because nothing happens and refunds abound. But it would make an impact on filmmaking.
LikeLike
You have added a nonsensical sentence at the end, which is making me bitter. And it’s in LD.
LikeLike
I do that when I get lazy at the editing. And who doesn’t love having someone point out all their mistakes. I’m surprised you didn’t figure out all the spelling mistakes I made.
LikeLike
I’m gonna zip it, lock it, and put it in my pocket.
LikeLike
Or don’t and you could make me bitter. Either way, it won’t make a difference.
LikeLike
Yeah! This one is good! Thank you!
LikeLike
Conflict resolution is a bunch of hooey. As soon as you figure out one conflict it is on to another.
LikeLike
Lol I watched X-Men last night absolutely terrible! Bitterness level went from 1-18 after that movie!
LikeLike
I’m glad to see your bitterness level is at an all time bitter.
LikeLike
I agree. It would be a nice change to see a good guy and a bad guy glare at each other for a few minutes and then turn and huff off in opposite directions while grumbling to themselves.
LikeLike
The Face Off that never amounted to something would be a compellingly realistic look at just about everyone else’s life but the few onscreen.
LikeLike
I agree. Let’s just push all our bitterness down into a hard, dense, solid pellet of wordlessness deep inside our hearts and leave it there. If it’s dense enough, we may exert a gravitational pull on others and they can be drawn into our forcefield of bitter energy. We can become black holes in this universe of conflict resolution. Excellent suggestion, Ben. I’m going to start straight away……
…..
Ok. I give up.
I have waaaaaaay too much positivity going on in there. Dang. My positivity makes me so bitter. Yet, not quite bitter enough, apparently.
LikeLike
Stop being so positive or I will have send you to the School of Bitterness and charge you all your money. If that doesn’t cure you of your bitterness, nothing will.
LikeLike