I screwed up. I messed up big time. I had an extra day and I blew it. I didn’t treat yesterday like a Ferris Bueller’s Day off. I didn’t put every ounce of my laziness into making it the laziest day ever. I got up relatively early. I took a shower aaand used deodorant. I even got dressed. I had all kinds of non plans, but I wasted them. Our family decided to do some chores; to get some things done. That slow leak in the driver’s side tire. That pretty much summed up how the day was wasted. We decided to waste pretty much half the day, either waiting for an employee of the Tire center to show up, (late today because it was Memorial Day, which I don’t blame, by the way. I would have shown up at noon.), or wait for the other stupid people that decided to come on a holiday to get their tires fixed and before it was too late, we were stuck in a vortex. Our car was in the shop, but it would have just sat there all day, if we didn’t just cut the cord and just leave with it unfixed. The kids and I decided to walk (and you know how little I like to do that) instead of wait there one more minute, while mom remained to pull the plug on the Tire-d fiasco.
Speaking of Tire-d, you should look back at the posts I did last week. If you think last week was ancient history, think back to how long ago an Old Ben Gardner Newsletter was. Who want to read about some of the most irrelevant issues ever like taking over the world(honestly who wants it now? And it sounds like a lot of work. Bitterness will happen with or without me taking it over.) and being on Home Improvement. Though it was a show within a show where a guy got hammered, nailed, electrocuted, burned, glued and shellacked, that has no relevance today.
Then I got burned like a peel out on some rubber tires (are there any other kinds?) by all these shows on TV claiming to be “Wars” when really all they were was competitions, or semi-professionals that just couldn’t get along with other people cause they are so “strong-willed” and out to get other people, because they are getting in the way…of my profits on The Bitter Battlefield of Fake Wars.
If that weren’t bad enough, I couldn’t even remember what I talked about on Friday. It was a long time ago. And I never seem to do the same exact thing every Friday, like eat pizza, slack off at work and uh, um, yeah, can’t remember what I do on my blog. I wonder if reading what I wrote will jog my memory. Ah yes, Bitter Memory Friday Giftures. How could I possibly remember that?
I was pretty Tire-d last week, so I only did a few tweets.
Commenters were probably pretty Tire-d of me:
On The Bitter May Snowstorm and The Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 3:
“It’s hard to have any sympathy for the cotton snow because I’m pretty a sure a week or two ago we had actual snow flurries. In May.” – Katie
“We got snow in Ireland in May once. It was a nice break from the constant rain.” V
“I am guessing you are not a snow lover…….” ksfinblog
On The Bitter Battlefield of Fake Wars:
“I agree. When did something as benign as baking cupcakes get a mach make-over? I think tv execs completely lack imagination so if it workd for one show… next up “Amish wars” – oh wait – don’t they already have that one?” thetattootourist
“We need a new show called The Comment Wars. I follow mostly Christian blogs and once in awhile I get caught in the crossfire of warring factions 🙂
You’re the Master of Irony. . . .one of the deadly cold-hearted assassins of the Cupcake Wars.” Kelly Grace
“Words cannot express how much I absolutely freaking LOVED this post. I might go so far as to say that it’s my favorite of yours.
Also . . . that’s a REALLY BIG gnome. O.o” C. Miller
On Bitter Memory Friday Giftures:
“Who are you and why am I here?” – Bikerchick57
“Yes, let’s forget this week. It blew. Like that girl next to the muscleman wants to.” Kirbey
“I’m bitter that I can’t afford ANY vacation; and that our mortgage company calls us every week to remind us that we’re 2 months behind… Have a good one!” LVital7019
And just when you weren’t tired enough of this crap:
And perhaps, the feeling you got when you woke up this morning…
Alright, get back to it. Tell me what you did to waste your Ferris Bueller day.
ARRRRGGGHHHHH
Bitter Tire-d Ben
you wouldn’t want to live here, b/c you would have to change gourmet pizza day to thursday.2;50 a slice or 9.00 whole but if you live here it;’s 20 % off = 7:20 ..math.
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That made me tired just reading about your math.
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i’m sorry. yesterday i read you doing math somewhere in june. i finished all of june.
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no. that was just a misunderstanding of you.
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oh i misunderstood : no math
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no math and definitely no meth.
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no math no meth no myth
cartoon network for katz for ben’s
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Ben Katz is the shiz.
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gomer pyle is shazam
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I never thought Shazam looked quite right.
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it’s some kind of app or something?
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I tells you what kind of music you should listen to.
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well if it says country, it’s going out the window!
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No country music ever.
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never ever would be as sweet as dixie crystal sugar
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Nerds are pretty dang sweet. Give me heartburn.
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nerds candy? sugar is about the only thing that doesn’t give me heartburn.life does
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I even get heartburn from candy.
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i understand. sometimes i say water is the only heartburn free….
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And sometimes not even that.
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yes sometimes like now
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I didn’t properly carry out my Monday non-plans either. I made the mistake of going outside because the weather was nice, and what I got to show for my foolishness was a sunburn.
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Going outside is such a bad way to spend a sunny day where you might feel better if you get some sun.
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I spend inordinately too much time thinking about not going to work. And still, I do. What’s up with that??
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It creates quite the bitter imbalance. Sounds like the chemical imbalance I have in my bitter brain.
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We don’t have Memorial Day weekend here, so I was in work yesterday. I was okay with it though because I’d bunked off last week to see X-Men. Balance is restored to the universe.
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You probably have some cool holiday coming up though right? I think I need to bunk off this week, because work sucks.
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This weekend is the June bank holiday, actually! But yes, DO IT. Bunk off. Do it tomorrow. Friday off. Three day weekend again. You could tell them you have explosive diarrhoea. Nobody ever wants to hear about that.
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Well, I hope you have an awesome bank holiday. I decided to take it one step further and take the whole week off. Talk about lazzzzyyy!
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She has those crazy Runaway Bride eyes!
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I would Runaway too if I saw those eyes.
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Well, we did not crash anyone’s Ferrari Spyder, but we have been driving in Italy, so it’s practically the same thing. Yesterday, we toured a winery then hung out by the pool.. I beat my 7 year old grandson at Uno twice, we celebrated our son’s 3rd anniversary and then had seafood pasta on the terrace. We have been playing hookie from life for nearly a week now, but reality sets in tomorrow. I am already feeling the bitterness seeping in…
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The bitterness is strong this morning, having to wake up at the crack of dawn again and hearing other people’s voices.
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Poor, bitter us….
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I know right? Bitterness always just seems to find me, whether I’m looking for it, or seeking it out.
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I have been working too much an haven’t been reading your blog as much as I should. However, these comments are awesome and have inspired me to go back to bed. That is after I catch up on your posts!!
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You should definitely go to bed. The best way to spend a day.
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last picture is really reflecting anger..aaaaarrrrgghhh
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That is how I feel every morning I wake up.
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good
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Thanks for the support. I knew I couldn’t count on you…:)
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Which is good
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For you, not me. But it makes me bitter so there is that.
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Hmm
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