If there is something I lose more than my wallet(which of course I forgot or lost this morning), it is my memory. Every time I wake up in the morning I lose about every shred of a dream I might have had. Probably a good thing, considering how bitter my dreams probably are. Pretty much every important detail I ever studied for in every school class ever, was lost at just the right time – the test. Also don’t ever hope that you want me to remember your birthday or anniversary, because I don’t even remember mine. I mean I was screaming like a baby that day. You would have been too had you been coming out of a nice warm belly. Most people tell me their first memory was when they were three-five years old. Mine wasn’t until I was 15 and right now I can’t even remember that one. So today, let’s celebrate the most forgotten thing of all time. Our memory.
I think she may have forgotten…
…that she isn’t on Match.com.
Hey dad! Look…
…what are these round ball looking things called again?
Sitting is hard…
…but I’ll try it again. Dang it!
Let’s see I think I left my keys…
…not over here…AAAAAHHH! Not funny clown!
Remember how lame Tommy Lee Jones was in the Golden Globes….
…yeah, I don’t remember either.
Hey remember that guy we were supposed to tackle….
…any idea where he went?
Dude, remember that wicked awesome handshake we used to do?
…yeah me neither. Let’s hug it out.
Do they have water in pools?
I don’t remember. Let’s shoot it out find out.
Remember that one time we went sliding down that hill?
Yeah, that was nuts…
Where was is the switch you use to the start the mower?
Oh, there it is. Found it!
No one can save you. I’ve got you just where I want you…
…oh, I forgot about your friends..
Don’t forget that Dancing with the TV stars…
…can be quite difficult when the TV cart is a bad dancer.
Speaking of forgetting, can we just forget that this whole week existed? Have a bitter Holiday Weekend. Unless you have it off. Then be bitter that you aren’t going to Hawaii.
ARRRRGGGGHHHH
Bitter What was I talking about? Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
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Hey, Ben! How’s it goin’? Maybe, you’ve forgotten because of all the liquor you’ve sucked down? Or, maybe that’s me…check out my latest post -http://tenaciousbitch.com/2014/05/25/love-my-merlot-and-becks-light-but-keep-the-ganja-away-from-me/ , or maybe it’s all the bitterness souring your memory? :).I didn’t spend the weekend in Hawaii, but I managed to have fun anyway – in Kentucky of all places, sitting poolside, which though it wasn’t tropical was quite lovely. Hope all is well in your world!
Later!
TB
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Nope it wasn’t liquor, I don’t drink. That was definitely you. Wait, how is it possible that you didn’t go to Hawaii? I’ve heard you can have some good old fun in Kentucky.
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Didn’t have enough frequent flyer points for Hawaii..:). I did have a great weekend in Kentucky though – hanging out by the pool…staying up until 3 a.m. working on my book and writing my last blog post.
Chat with you later!
~TB
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If you don’t have the FF points, you just wait. Not worth going anywhere else…except Kentucky.
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LOL! 🙂
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Can’t wait to hear about your trip to Hawaii.
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Bahaha “hug it out” cuz can’t remember the handshake.
It’ll get better not bitter.
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That’s why I never pretended to learn those handshake things. Because first I would have to acknowledge someone instead of ignoring them, but also I have no rythmn so how could I expect to learn something that takes movement?
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Ha!
Thanks for makin’ me a laugh today.
I know …..that makes you bitter. 😀
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It is pretty hard to make your day, so I will consider me bittered for it.
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Grrr and harupmh.
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And arrrghhh and grrrrrr.
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I was really happy to have a three-day weekend, but now that I realize I’m not going to Hawaii I am pretty bitter. Even with all those hilarious gifs you’ve succeeded!
What Tommy Lee Jones movie is that?
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That is a Tommy Lee Jones commercial in Japan. I wish he was like that in real life, because man was he bitter guy at the Golden Globes. He was almost as bad as me.
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I’m bitter that I can’t afford ANY vacation; and that our mortgage company calls us every week to remind us that we’re 2 months behind… Have a good one!
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Stupid mortgage companies. Don’t they know that we already know how far behind we are?
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Yes, let’s forget this week. It blew. Like that girl next to the muscleman wants to.
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Consider last week exploded like a Micheal Bay movie. Now I just need to get a head start on destroying this week.
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I have faith in you.
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It won’t be long now. .
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Today is Friday. XD
The handshake one? That dude’s YouTube channel is one of the only things I’ve ever watched somewhat consistently on there. Haven’t in a while, but did for a while. lol He’s HILARIOUS (most of the time).
Also, I’m trying to figure out why it took that grandpa five hours to aim at such a large target that was RIGHT THERE. Kind of ridiculous.
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Congrats on remembering it is Friday! Well, it was back then, anyways. I didn’t even know that guy had a YouTube channel or that he was a thing. Who is it? I want to check out his channel and see if he is really as funny as you claim.
It would be pretty nice to be that dude that had all day to contemplate whether he was going to shoot that pool or not.
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Yeah, he has a YouTube channel.
http://www.youtube.com/user/LAHWF
Some of the videos aren’t as funny as others. The first one I saw was ‘Holding People’s Hand’ like . . . a year and a half ago, I want to say. I was almost crying I was laughing so hard.
I honestly don’t know how he keeps a straight face for most of those.
As for the dude shooting the pool, I would lose my mind if I had nothing to do but sit around and contemplate whether or not to shoot a pool. Maybe that’s ‘the good life’?
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Hilarious! As usual!
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You are quite the optimist. Why aren’t you more bitter?
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Who are you and why am I here?
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And who are you and what am I doing on this terrible blog?
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