I think my veins are filled with either honey or fear. Because of the warm weather (65 degrees!, just kidding 85) in the last two days, I have had to roll down the windows of my car. It seems like whenever I pull up to a stop, a member of the bee community has been stalking me, to the point that they are flying to get in my car to show their psychotic tendencies by planting a stinger in my arm, thus making it really hard to text and ignore the road, while having to deal with a huge bee sting. Yeah, bees are irritating. Today I’m going to demonstrate other irritating things by way of Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures.
Do you want to know what really irritates me?
Another thing that irritates me?
This guy had one thing to do…
Doesn’t it just get under your skin…
Doesn’t it make you mad when….
Drive you crazy…
Don’t you hate it…
Or when someone is always…
Don’t you get sick of…
Doesn’t it just irritate you…
Doesn’t it drive you batty…
It’s the worst when you are late for breakfast…
I’m sure there are other things that irritate me, like when your pizza is late, or work is required on a Friday or a Monday-Thursday, but I just don’t have the time to explain. I’m too bitter and too irritated. So bye.
ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Little Irritations Ben
lol where do you find these images??? hilarious post! The cat one and the dino are my favs!
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Well, I get them from the internet, Google, Giphy, Gifbin, there are a ton of them. But someday I would like to start a film company that produces just gifs. I’ll have thousands of cameras out there filming people falling over, and then just creatively editing them to my own benefit.
Your drawings aren’t so bad either. 🙂
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ahahah that would be so terrible! And by terrible I mean awesome- you should so do it. hehehe. Ok I might be a bad influence, don’t listen to me.
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I will do it not only because it will make a lot of money, but because I think it will make people bitter.
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lol I like your attitude!
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Yes, I have a little attitude for an introvert that just likes to sit around at his desk shooing people away.
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Reblogged this on Contrafactual and commented:
Must … re … blog …
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Ouch, now my face hurts.
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Was it because got so bitter from reading that post? Sorry about that, not really.
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Pingback: In case you missed it…because you were busy getting season finalied | Ben's Bitter Blog
Hey that was fun – bitter is better!
I was getting a bit bitter because my computer was not playing nice and I was going to throw it out the window, but I didn’t want to hit the little bird. It’s better now and I’ve returned to my happy place. Great Post!
AnnMarie
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Computers can be a huge source of bitterism. I find their lack of making me dinner to be kind of maddening considering what I pay for them. Besides, they only last 2 years and by then they are four generations too old.
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Isn’t that the absolute truth! You’re are not only bitter – you’re brilliant too. I have a MacBook Pro and I can’t believe how much it has gone down in value.
I heard Bill Gates is in his way to being classified as a super ‘trillionaire’ or billionaire extraordinaire… (though he does donate quite a bit)
AnnMarie
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I think it is about time that computers and cars go to the next level. I mean next year it is 2015 and that’s when Marty McFly went 30 years into the future. There was a promise of flying cars, computers on every surface and two ties instead of one. I think we have some catching up to do.
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Agreed!
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LMAO- either you are in SD or a padres fan. poor poor kitty. trees are not jerks. watched the firework guy over and over. wish more videos were this short. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUP
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The only SD I’ve ever been to is South Dakota. That guy in the fireworks display is similar to when my kid jumps on me when I am trying to nap.
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reminds me of something funny. i was at san diego zoo with a baseball cap on that said SD. a tourist came up to me and said “oh, your from south dakota?” after a strange look-from me, i said no, san diego. the lady started laughing and said, oh of course. LOL
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Usually it is the other way around where people are thinking I’m from San Diego, so that is refreshing to hear it go the other way for us for once.
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Ben — the elephant basketball thing — I’d do that for a moon pie. At least the elephant isn’t sitting on someone’s chest.
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You would dunk or you would guard the elephant?
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I love elephants . . .
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Have you ever met one? They are phenomenonal basketball players because they are tall and pretty durable. Also they carry all their own luggage. (Trunks).
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Haha. Nice one.
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Ha ha not really. Lame.
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😦
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That is what they kids call a “dad” joke. Speaking of which, you doing anything for you dad Sunday(this is father’s day for reference, in case you read this in July).
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Is there something wrong with ‘dad jokes’?
I’m weird about holidays. I usually just get people cards, but I actually go through pretty much every card to find THE RIGHT ONE. We’ll probably have dinner together today.
Hope you have a great Father’s Day with your family. (I know I’ve already texted you that, but still.)
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I always made fun of my dad’s ‘Dad Jokes’, so it is tradition that my kids make fun of mine. Right now they think I’m pretty cool, but pretty soon they will be teenagers and think I’m the biggest dork and make fun of me and my terrible jokes. Just comes with the dad territory.
I’ve never been a great gift giver either. Our family has been on the card route for a while. If I ever see anything that I think would be an awesome gift for someone, (like those Tardis socks for you), but for the most part I just give them a card. Even Christmas and birthdays are hard. As far as it goes for gifts for me, I’m totally okay with gift cards, video games or pizza (or cake). I’m pretty easy to buy for.
Thanks. Like you know I had an awesome Father’s Day because the Spurs won. Still trying to pick out my Spurs gear.
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My dad has the best jokes. Probably because he almost never speaks, then makes some smarta** comment out of nowhere. I only make fun of his jokes sometimes. Most of the time they’re just hilarious.
Maybe your kids won’t make fun of you when they’re teenagers. I know most kids get all, ‘ewww, parents, go AWAY,’ but I was never like that with mine. *shrug*
I will hope that they continue to think you’re cool. Because you ARE cool.
Yeah, I’m not so great at the gifts. I always put too much thought into it and want to get people things they MUST HAVE, but . . . most people just want money anyway, you know?
I feel weird when I get gifts. I don’t know what it is, but just weird. Maybe it’s the thought of someone thinking about me? I’d say most people don’t really think so much about it.
I got like four Starbucks gift cards this past Christmas, and I was happy about that. And fuzzy socks. I typically love getting socks. THAT is easy to buy for. Gift cards and socks. O.o
I know you mentioned your Spurs gear in another comment. Did you finally get it picked out? Have you gotten it yet?
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My dad’s jokes were the cheesiest. It was my job as his son to give him a sense of humor and as he has gotten older he has mellowed. I’m pretty proud of him for getting more humorous.
It’s pretty awesome that your dad’s jokes are great. It’s even better when stuff comes out unexpected that crack you up. I just love when you start laughing and you can’t stop. My buddy at work in IT and I were cracking jokes about redneck teeth and we couldn’t stop laughing. It was fun and I had such a better day afterwards.
I have worked hard to make sure my kids think I’m cool and so far so good. I just hope that things don’t change when the become teens. I’m bracing for that.
I totally agree with you on the gift thing. At our gift exchange every year at work, I always suggest for myself gift card for pizza, Itunes card or money. Why do we even have to pretend to get stuff they might want over the 100% guarantee of money. Most people just know what they want and money gets that more than anything. Oh well. And socks? Great gift. As long as they fit. I even wrote a post about socks and their key to my bitterness (when they don’t fit) and happiness when they don’t get wet.
I finally got my Spurs gear picked out. I ordered two shirts and the video and I just found out today that the two shirts shipped. I should be seeing them early next week. And of course the bluray will be sent as soon as they finish it. It usually takes a month to get it done.
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I was going to say, ‘Watch it with the redneck stuff!’ But despite being from Kentucky and admittedly being ‘southern’ in some ways…I don’t really relate to ‘redneck’.
(Yes, we do have shoes here. And no, not everybody has bad teeth.)
lol
I will keep my fingers crossed for your kids to continue thinking you’re awesome. 🙂
How are you liking your Spurs gear?!
Totally random, but just wondering . . .
Do I have the most comments on your blog (apart from you)? Because you definitely have the most on mine (apart from me).
I’ll be honest, you have (literally) three times what the next person has in number of comments on mine. O.o
I guess we’re friends? HAHA
BF!
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You’re no redneck, even if you are from Kentucky! You are awesome though, no matter where you are from. Besides, how can I make fun of the rednecks in Kentucky, when I am a hick farmer from South Dakota? And yes we have towns here. I can’t talk about bad teeth either. If it wasn’t for braces I would look like one of those rednecks that have really bad teeth.
I think I have a good chance of them still liking me. But it will be determined soon. My daughter is 10 now, so it won’t be long before we know for sure.
I am not so impressed with my Spurs gear. So far I only have one shirt. I got two but one of them was too small so I had to send it to my dad. There is a severe lack of them in my size. That makes me a little bitter. And here I am over a month later and I still don’t have my Spurs BluRay video. It’s hard being a fan of the most underappreciated 5 time champion in history. It’s so hard to get gear. Oh well.
You are definitely my favorite commenter. Who else besides you could look beyond the bitterness and actually find something in me worthy of being a friend. I’ll always be thankful to you for that, regardless. How could I not comment on all your stuff? I love hearing about what is going on with your life.
We are definitely friends, that is fo sure. HAHA
BF!
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Haha, yeah I’m really not a redneck. You’ll probably get to hear how not-Southern I sound soon.
I definitely understand you being bitter about the lack of Spurs gear in your size. What’s up with that? It’s stupid.
Erm. How do you still not have the Blu-ray? Did it come in this past week?
If everybody can’t find something worthy in you of being a friend, something is wrong. Because you’re seriously awesome.
BF, fer shur. XD
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I know you aren’t a redneck, I just like to make fun of people that are my friends. If I don’t make fun of you (especially to your face) then you can pretty much tell I don’t like you. I know, I’m weird that way.
I’m still struggling with the Spurs stuff. I swear, I’m going to find a red eye flight down to SA and just shop the entire city scouring it for the best Spurs stuff in my size. On the plus side, I did finally get my Spurs DVD. It was pretty awesome. I can’t wait to watch it over and over.
You are pretty nice to say that, but on the surface most people don’t get me and to be honest that is alright with me. There are just so many people that I just couldn’t stand to friends with anyways. People with little depth just annoy me.
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Might be debatable after the crawdad thing. Then again, I don’t like getting dirty so that prevented me from trying to dig them up with Husband. I’m a bit of a germaphobe, and all the things living in pond dirt? No thank you.
Then it was all the bug bites (they swarm me, all the time), and getting a clear reminder as to why I prefer the indoors.
Could you seriously not find any Spurs stuff in your size online?
How was the DVD?
People with little depth annoy me too. But . . . that’s the world for ya.
(Double BITTER MUCH?!)
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Roll down the windows? We had the air conditioner on at the beginning of the week, and now the heat is back on, and I wore gloves today. GLOVES IN MAY. It doesn’t get much more bitter than that.
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Yeah my car is ancient enough that I had to roll down windows. The ancient 2008 model.
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This is just bitterful.
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There was a pinch of sarcasm, a dusting of rage and 4 pounds of bitterness to make it bitterful.
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😀
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Teela! Why did you not tell me about this site???
Hysterical!
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She was hiding it for the bitterment of society.
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Stop! I already spilled one beer over your site and comments (and I only have one left to…”help me make it through the night…”
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Sorry about making you bitter about reading the site. Oh wait, no I’m not. I’m trying to make you bitter.
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I meant to but I kept getting otherwise distracted 😉
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It is easy to get distracted when a site is so terrible.
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That’s a bitter thing to say.
Your site is AWESOME!!!!!!!!! LY Bitter. 😀
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Of course it is a bitter thing to say? Does I say any other kinds of words?
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Ahhh……
What was I thinin’?
You’re the Bitter Professor himself! 😀
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Trees are annoying. I make as many copies as possible (plus 10 extra every time) so they have to cut more down.
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I like to imagine how hurt a tree feels every time I crumple up a piece of paper, cut it, shred it or just make one tiny mark on it and throw it away.
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Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Fridays because of you Bitter Ben. Thank you for the giggles.. and making my coworkers think I’m even crazier than usual 🙂
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I’m pretty sure my posts on Friday have about nothing to do with how much Fridays are good. I am glad to contribute to your co-workers thinking you are crazy though.
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I hope the treehuggers see what jerks trees are (and how skilled elephants are). Maybe they should hug more elephants.
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I have a whole list of offenses of trees against me and humanity, but the post would be too long and rambly.
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That’s never stopped you before.
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I’ve been known to be lazy before.
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Best bitter giftures of all time. Where do you find these videos? Well done. I can’t think of anything bitter to say today. See ya, Lucy
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You should always have something bitter today…Like wow the weather is dreadful, or wow traffic is nasty, or wow this rhubarb tastes really bitter…
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I am bitter now. The wind is blowing over all my potted banana plants and I’m bitter about having to pick them up all the bitter day. Is that bitter? Lucy
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See even banana plants can provide the bitterness you need.
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Love the GIF!
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You think they were good this week, just wait until next week, when they won’t be near as good.
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Haha looking forward to it!
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I bet you are totally not looking forward to it.
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That waking up from a nap before you are ready? That’s me every single damn morning.
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And every single afternoon when my son jumps on top of me when napping.
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Poor, poor kitty…. awwwwwww…. I feel bitter.
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Why do you feel bad for the kitty? She just learned how to fly…
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Sure… But to be rocket launched by fatness is just… so… wrong.
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And yet so entertaining.
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