In case you missed it…because you needed more things to add to your busy life

/ bensbitterblog
Because you are extra larger from Easter Weekend.

Because you had nothing better to do.

Whether you were doing chores, overindulging on Easter candy or spending too much time watching the NBA Playoffs, cutting the grass, going grocery shopping or catching up on all your family arguments or being lazy ignoring all the things you have to do, you were busy the last two weeks.  I was so busy doing nothing important that I didn’t get around to updating you on all the posts you didn’t have time to read, nor want to read.  But, this blog has always been about making both you and I uncomfortable, so let’s both have some awkwardness, shall we?

My birthday came at a busy time in my vacation in Utah.  I was doing a really good job of neglecting as many people as possible that day, but failed.  What I didn’t fail at was coming up with 41 things to be bitter about.   Read more about that crap in 41 Things to be Bitter About.

Then that Friday, all kinds of things were getting in my way, especially those so called “majestic” mountains that everyone likes to ski down, but no one likes to get trapped on.  So giftures were badly needed to explain how much people were getting in my way in The Mountainous Barriers of Friday Giftures.

Last week was about the roadtrip home and how decidedly inconvenient it is to have satellite radio, which allows for stations to come in clear and not scratchy the whole way, so you don’t have to find some crappy local farm report station in the middle of a mountain pass.  Yet, with all the thousands of stations available, only a few were “suitable” for the whole family, and that one “suitable” for the whole family station only played 14 songs.  Experience the frustration in Road Trip Music Bitterness.

Another frustration that we as many others do in a road trip/vacation is the Sun.  Getting in your eyes, melting stuff, only coming out when it wants to, and making really crappy foods are just a few things the sun do that make me bitter.  Find out more in The Bitter Sun.

Finally last Friday, I was having all kinds of luck.  And by luck I mean bad luck.  And by bad luck I mean disasters.  And by disasters I mean really bad things, like light bulbs failing and having to change them, electric toothbrush working too fast, getting water on my socks, etc.  To express my bitter rage, I did some Cluster Luck Friday Giftures.

 

Some Twitters over the last few weeks:

 

 

Some comments:

On 41 reasons to be Bitter:

“Clowns should be #1. I hate clowns, they freak me out so much I could scream. I’m sitting here thinking of clowns and getting scared and there aren’t even any around. Or what if there are? I really should install a security system for cases like this…

I hope you had the bitterest birthday of them all, but it sounds like you already had the task well in hand!

Also, #39 – Diarrhea.” – Katie Renee

“Bitter Birthday, B-boy! Not knowing the exact date, hoping these wishes arrived late to add to your bitterness, and that all of your gifts made you gush:

“Oh. Gee…thanks.”

BTW, all loose sofa pillows must DIE. But facts during arguments? The ONLY way to argue. Some silly man once told me, in anger: “The problem with you is, you argue too LOGICALLY!”
(Eh. What else can one expect from a member of the ditzy gender?)

Funny post, sir.” – Outlier Babe

“Happy Birthday Bitter Ben!
I second you on your #1 annoying thing.
To answer #20 – because Micheal Jackson lol
Annnnnd for your birthday I’d get you grumpy cat =P

I think I speak for all women- leave our decorative pillows ALONE! Lol jk” – Shawna in Wonderland

On the Mountainous Barriers of Friday Giftures:

“Who needs to wear pants anyway! They are stifling and I would avoid them like this if I could. Shorts are preferred.” Backuphill

“Plus, there are yetis.” – Iona Martin

On Road Trip Music Bitterness:

“Road trips with kids. I still wake up in a cold sweat thinking about it…and my kids are 30ish 🙂” – Sue Slaught

“I would rather drive into a wall or past a cliff if that Fox song came on and I had no way of changing the station or silencing the radio. I have never actually heard it, but I saw a gif of it on Tumblr, got insanely annoyed for whatever reason, and vowed to avoid it forever. So far so good.” – Sam

“A deluded part of me hopes my future rugrats will be into classic rock. Can’t I train them at a young age by playing it every night by their crib over and over and over?
And I can Pavlov them by making them eat rocks every time a One Direction song plays?” – Fits of Wit

On The Bitter Sun:

“I think you should have spent more time on the sun-dried tomatoes. If it weren’t the sun, no one would have ever thought that was a good idea.” – Katie

““Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun.” —Mr. Burns” – the Philosophunculist

On Cluster Luck Friday Giftures:

“Wishing you mad amounts of cluster luck this weekend, eating peeps.” – Brickhouse Chick

“Ughhh, I want to have a serious talk with the egg beater girl.” – Adixon210

“Sometimes, bad luck does follow certain people…& sometimes, it’s funny. I really hope this becomes a reoccurring Friday post.” – Properly Ridiculous

And finally after all this, some bonus giftures:

 

...And Fight!

…And Fight!

 

...and Race!

…and Race!

 

 

aaaannnd…..I’m out of here.

ARRRRRGGGGHHHH

Bitter Freaking Ben

 

 

 

29 thoughts on “In case you missed it…because you needed more things to add to your busy life”

  1. Pingback: Ben’s Bitter Blog | Shawna In Wonderland

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