Last night I was watching the X-Men: First Class and one of the many themes of the movie was divisions and what causes them. At first, most of the X-Men are friends because of the mutual abilities that made the different/better than regular humans with no gifts. The world isn’t sure what to do with them, they are not sure what to do with each other, so they join factions. Some mutants want to try to get along and work with the humans, others want to dominate and control them. Some wanted to cure their “disease”, others wanted to embrace it. Divisions happen every day between countries, states, schools, workplaces and even families.
Well, a big one happened to me recently. My parents were on a mission in Mongolia for the Mormon church and yesterday were released from the calling. They were heading home after a year and a half of living there and working among the people. They are genuinely good people that have no hint of bitterness (skipped a generation, apparently) and have done their best to support me in whatever I do. They even read my blog, which is weird, because they aren’t bitter at all. So yesterday as they were traveling home they got some time in between flights and FaceTimed us. They talked to my wife and kids and excitedly told them about how they couldn’t wait to see us and how my kids had grown up so fast, and how they were so thankful to my wife for putting up with me for so many years. Then they said they wanted to talk to me privately. I got that scary “we need to talk” feeling in my gut. What were they going to lecture me about? What had I done wrong this time?
“Ben, it’s about your blog.” Why now? They had read this thing almost from the beginning. Even though they were on a mission, and even though they were millions of miles away, they had still managed to read almost every post. It was easy for me to tell, because whenever I checked my stats, I would see the country of Mongolia. It wasn’t possible that any other person in Mongolia would ever want to read this blog. (Though the weather there suggests that one could be bitter, they aren’t going to want to read some crappy blog about it.) “We’ve spent a year and a half trying to do our best to bring joy into people’s lives. We just think your blog is too ‘negative’ and you should stop doing it.’
Punch in the gut. How could they have been so supportive and then all of a sudden just pulled that on me? They were right though. And they were my parents. Yeah, I am almost 41 and yeah, I have kids that need a good example to look up to. I guess I should just grow up and stop the madness. “Yeah, I had kind of been feeling bad about it, lately.” Maybe I should just stop writing this thing.
So there had been this divide in our family. Over this blog. I just can’t let it come between us anymore. So, I just think that it might be time to give it up. As much advice on bitterness as I have to offer, I just think it will probably be for the best that I just move on with my life. What do you think? Should I continue?
Deep in thought this morning.
Bitter Divided Ben
Pingback: In case you missed it, because I missed doing it | Ben's Bitter Blog
you scared me , even though i saw the date was april fool’s before i read…i can’t see this at sixty7% .. now my six is stuck…you & the synagogue have the same 3 inch black line over your blog, so every time i scroll it covers the likes & the 1st sentence.
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I hope that I scared just about everyone. That was the point of the Bitter Fool’s Day.
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well thank-you for that.i am bitter about being scared
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I am bitter that no one was sad.
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i am sad that i have no bitter herbs & it’s almost passover. i need matzo, charosis & radishes ,parsley..charosis is apples raisins walnuts & wine, but i have to leave out walnuts & use sugar free cranberry juice instead of wine or passover grape juice.
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cranberry juice sounds good with just about anything.
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oh it is. .. in chicken , in french toast….
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WITH chicken, WITH french toast,
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lol under chicken, under french toast
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With some cheese and bagels.
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ooh that’s sounds good.. you should write a book about cranberry pairings…i will ask the king of scotland to publish your booksss
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If the king of scotland is a publisher, I’m on board.
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i’ll ask him..he’s everything.. a genius, poet, soul mate lol, budhist,father , handsome man
with asbergers
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Wow you have quite a connection with him huh? That must be nice to date the king of scotland.
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i only get one comment on my bday? what i have gotten so far 1. google gave me arrows..so just now when it has been going to top or bottom & u miss middle , i got my L stock back at ameritrade.. i couldn’t see it for months
2. your twin asked me to wear a ring on my index finger until he can buy me one, last night , b/c a palm reader well you have to read it at raechel.. no room here
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Uh yep. What day was it again? I’ve been really busy catching up this week at work, so haven’t had time to comment on stuff. I hope you had a good birthday.
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it just started .lol you know it’s haiku day 17th syllables like haiku, or 2 days after taxes
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So easy for me to remember, because I still don’t know how many syllables are in a haiku.
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lol…i’m sure there is a basketball player w/ a 17 on his shirt for you to remember…or 2 days after taxes.
you -9th…letterman 13th i think – me 17th.. every 4 days
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I don’t know of any BB players that have that number. What did everyone get you for your birthday?
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i asked for peace & quiet..you know that out of office email,people send me..well i wrote out of office passover & sent to realtors & a joke one but serious to my brother & usa today ,so they know -no answer…funny , b/c when i answer people at 3 am, i get an out of office email at usa today & lawyers.
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Did you get my out of office? Has that inspired some bitterness?
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lol. it would make me laugh if i had gotten your out of office
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I was out of office for a week and it was supposed to kick back and email telling people that emailed me.
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that’s funny. i sent one i made it said out of office passover 13-21st to usa today & my brother
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How come I never got an out of office from you?
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i would have sent it to you if you were jewish or you had sent me one..next year i will remember to send you…
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I got an out of office report from you today.
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lol..did you? you said you never got one, so now you have
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wonders never cease.
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lol fires never cease
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Except when water in involved.
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what is fire water
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Water that is on fire.
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oh .what is coco water
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water made out of coco I think
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they say it’s good at friday’s
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Better than saturdays.
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yes or tuesday morning.
on friday at friday’s have a spinach flatbread pizza
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Fridays would be awesome if we didn’t have to work all day on it.
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i say you don’t have too…it’s pizza thursday & i am too ill to go to the beach & get one.i’m bitter …
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It’s Monday now and it is definitely time for a pizza. But I won’t be able to until It’s Friday.
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thaat is so sad. i have been waiting for 3 weeks for a pizza & today is thursday, just a slice from 5-9 so i look at the weather & it says rain from 5 to 9 !!!! i am so mad & i just washed my hair, so i can’t go in the rain
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You’ve waited three weeks? I can’t even imagine how painfully bitter that would be if it was me.
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yes & it’s 4th week today
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Well today it is the 1st of August and it is friday, so I see pizza in my near future.
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good..my story. i went yesterday & it started drizzling 5 mon. later ,then a man pulled out a cigar & choked me. i ran away for an hour it was 4:00.. then he asks if i want him to put it out,when i went back. then i left i was so sick
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What is a guy choking you with a cigar for?
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i couldn’t ask him,i was choking & running
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When you stop choking then.
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i was far away, by then .left the country…wrote a whole thing about it .came back hour later
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i have been up & down the comments 6 x’s & have lost your 3 comments. where did they go? did president bush steal them.. i was just yelling at him. i went off on a pyramid scheme tangent poem..
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Losing comments is definitely Bush’s fault.
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yes he is a bad guy , thank-you for understanding
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I understand stuff.
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i wish i understood stuff.can you hammer a nail?
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I can’t even screw in a lightbulb.
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lol me either.can you turn down a water heater?
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I can call someone to do it.
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will you. i can’t even do that…or call tem to fix tv channels
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Can you call someone to fix your condo?
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i wish. i emailed lady to ask a man to fis or bring new disposal…i need someone to drill lock for door..cable co. to fix tv, but worst thing is BBB better business bureau.i sent a 6 page letter & they are so dumbasking me stupid ?’s like my name & email..everything i included…saying they can’t help
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Sounds like they really don’t want to help.
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he wants to help.3 days.he had to get new water heater. now almost everything is new
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but is it ready for the tour?
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they are ready to tour,but w/o me
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So we will just break in?
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break into song?
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achy breaky heart break in?
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i do not allow country music to break in
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maybe your should start your own errin spelling bee.
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i could do that.in 5th grade mrs wholeton gave us candy when we won.
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It would be a really awesome pun with your name.
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This was doubly effective since I didn’t read this until several days after April 1… jerk…
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I am jerk yes. You snooze, you lose out on the April Fool’s joke.
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Why didn’t you tell me I was supposed to be bitter to read your blog? Do I need to trade you in on something snarky?
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You could probably trade me in for a piece of string and an old baseball card and still get ripped off.
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This truly left a bitter taste in my mouth.
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Idea of you stopping got me….ummm…bitter at you!
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Good. That means my April Fool’s Prank worked. Though I do plan on quitting someday. Because I am so lazy.
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Then you’d be boringben….the alter ego? Oooohhh…I smell a second blog 😛
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Boring Ben doesn’t have anything interesting to write about, or the time.
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well, as an alternate ego, he can be bored with bitterness 🙂 Keep bitter….you wear it so well!
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I should weat it to my next job interview. See if they enjoy that.
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That was quite bitter, Ben. I don’t know what to say. I kind of panicked for a while, and some bitterness crept in, but then I saw you were just nudging us in the proverbial ribs. Good to know I still have a good source of bitterness for when I need it. 🙂
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That panicked feeling you got tells me that it worked. The hardest thing to do is get someone on April Fool’s when everyone knows something is coming.
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Bitter Ben: all day today, people have been giving me real GROANER April Fools’ jokes that I saw coming for miles and miles, and you absatatively had me going on this one. Mormons in Mongolia? (Yeah. Right.) I should have smelled this April Fools’ concoction cooking bitterly on the spit miles away. You “got” me through an over-and-under utilized organ: my marbled heart. Next you’ll be uploading animated .GIF files from the “Lassie” show. (Assie??? Oh, ASSIE!!!!!!!) You had me going like Rudd Weatherwax had Assie going after Timmy down the well…well…well…oh, well…
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I was pretty sure that people would see right through this one, seeing that I wasn’t really bitter. Most people were tricked for a paragraph or two, but knew by the end. I’ll take that.
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Ben:
I think part of what made the joke effective is that you started it off by talking about the X-Men, something seemingly tangential to your life and subject, then related it to your own life. It got the flow of the story going, and people were drawn in. Good going, Ben! A classic! (I was a little relieved to find out that your parents aren’t/weren’t really like that!)
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It’s a technique I stole from the Simpsons. Every episode starts off one way and before you know it, they transition it another way. They do it so much better though.
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You ALMOST had me on this one. My glitter gut told me that it was an April Fools joke! Annnnd. I was right. Did you pull a prank on your wife? Or kids? My son didn’t. 🙂 But he did get his first contacts today. It was a milestone. 🙂
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Everyone tells me that I almost had them, which means I did good enough to almost get them. I think it was at least a valiant attempt.
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Indeed! Practice makes perfect.
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Next year I will totally almost trick you.
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HA! GOOD luck with that!! 😉
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I have the worst of luck so I will keep trying.
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Persistence pays off!
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That’s why I will practice for a whole year before I prank you next year.
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And I shall wait for this much expected *cough, cough* “prank”.
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You won’t know what hit you!
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Ha ha. It was good. I was certainly prepared to be bitter.
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You can still be bitter. Bitter that I didn’t quit.
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Yea yer right Yay! Oh wait you thought of it first dammit!
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I’m always zero steps ahead of you.
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put your mongolia where the sun …
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Well there was no sun there, so I guess I can’t go there….
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Fantastic! I hate to admit it, but I was starting to wonder if it was true. Now that I’ve been made a complete fool of, I’m bitter. Well done, sir! You are truly a bitterness guru.
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I’m so bitter that you would believe that I would a) think that I would quit this blog and b) ever be serious about anything but bitterness.
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If we took negativity away from this world, comedy would cease to exist.
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I think the negativity is necessary too! It is why I continue to spread it.
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You really had me going for a second there. Whenever people use Mongolia in their April Fools, they always manage to trick me. I think it’s because I assume Mongolia is the last place where April foolery would happen.
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The funny part is that the Mongolia thing was one of the true parts.
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Oh my, Bitter Ben, you are such a stinker
Your touching story took me hook, line and sinker
I understood and believed your leaving status quo
Now I’m bitterly embarrassed if you really must know
Up till the end, I should have known bitter
We all count on Ben to not be a quitter
He may sputter and spout yet we keep coming back
For the laughter he brings, he has quite a knack!
. . . Just don’t let it go to your head! : ]
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I had a feeling this would work, but not so well. I am absolutely going to let this go to my head, so that when I get too arrogant and get my comeuppance, I will have something to be really bitter about.
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For one horrified moment I thought you’d seen some light, aghast, I began to mourn. If you changed… ack! Thank you for being you, still. (There is a single, diamond tear suspended from one long, curly, gorgeous eyelash and it will stay there until you notice and are overcome by the beauty.)
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Nope. No light, just prank on you foolish people thinking that I had lost my bitterness.
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You totally had me! As I read, I couldn’t believe you were considering quitting and then I was admiring you thinking of your family…and then, BOOM! I was relieved that it was all a joke. Who would I be bitter with?
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Why would I ever think about my family? Or have deep thoughts? You should have seen right through that one.
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Ha ha brilliant! Just shows that you can do deep and thoughtful too, not just bitter – I was hooked and already preparing my rant in support..;-)
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There’s no reason you can’t rant still. Feel free to do that anytime. Especially on April Fool’s Day.
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Ha ha, well my bitterness is diffused now – maybe next time..
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Ok so I believe the bit about you’re folks being in Mongolia… (where I am a huge star, obviously…)…and I get the bit about family wanting you to just below up and stop the madness. But to give up must surely be an April fool’s joke! Where will we get our dose of “bitterness” without you? You make us laugh at our own stupidity! Ironically, that its what makes is…LESS bitter! Laughter it’s the best medicine.
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*grow…not below. Spell check makes me bitter.
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Spell check is a great idea. Maybe coming to a blog near me.
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Did you scroll all the way down to the bottom?
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I did! Just covering my bases in case you were telling any truth in bitter jest… it has been known to happen. Well, for some of us anyway. Since you are in the liar liar pants on fire category,I see I wasted my sentimental positivity! Gahaha!
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My parents are in Mongolia and I did watch X men last night. Other than that, the conversation between my parents never took place.
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Such a brilliantly bitter toad. I must start taking notes. Tell your parents I’ll comp them some tickets to the Mongolian Oscars. After this stunt, you may well be up for an award.
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Did you call me a toad? Is that some some sort of thing you call a bitter person? Then yes, I’m a toad. I can’t wait to not go to the Mongolian Oscars.
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*snort* don’t take your toad label too hard… It is a term of endearment aimed at naughty but likeable people. Like my grandsons and my cats. A bit like calling someone a little Turkey…but with more warts. And really cool fly catching abilities!
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I will take my revenge to the grave. I will use my toad like abilities to haunt you and your family and your families families etc. They don’t call me Revengerman for nothing. 😉
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I honestly believed you until the end. You suck. Go suck in Mongolia.
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You should have seen the one I did last year. Pretty classic.
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