It is pretty tempting this time of year to go outside. Supposedly even if the stupid hamster saw his shadow, it is spring. The weather is sunny just about everywhere except here and warming up. The nuisances called birds and yardwork are returning and snow is melting. Some people are tired of staying inside, resting, relaxing and being lazy. PHHSstt, just joking. That never gets old. But there are some people in this world that think that going outside is good for them and as a result, they aren’t reading blogs as much, jerks, this time of year. So hopefully, now that you are tired of spending time outside, you will have time to catch of to reading blogs. Mostly mine because you are feeling pretty bitter and you don’t know where else to turn.
As always I was late when it came to celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, probably because I’m not Irish, or always wearing green, and especially not a big fan of cabbage or Shamrocks. However, I feebly attempted to show how much I didn’t care about it in A Bitterly Late St. Patrick’s Day and Bitterizing Quotes Part 2, because those things have so much in common. So what happens after St. Patrick’s Day, do the leprechauns fly north for the spring?
Though an intriguing question, it isn’t a necessary one. A necessary question is: Why are clouds such jerks? Also, when we send data to the clouds, why does it seem like not all of it is available when we want it back? Why are clouds so moody? Why are they always blocking the sun? I’ve got enough sun block, I don’t need clouds. I answer many of these freezing questions in a post I called, Bitterness in the Clouds.
Friday was a day that brought work and people bothering me and that is the last thing I want to deal with on a Friday. Also, people forgot to save me from our evil cloud overlords, so of course I was mad and cursed you through Friday Giftures, for not saving me. You’re just like everyone else. Making me get out of all the messes I create by myself. So enjoy your cursing and find someone else to uncurse you.
I pathetically bitter twittered once this week:
People commented about stuff:
On a Bitterly Late St. Patrick Day and Bitterizing Quotes Part 2:
“I hate these so much. I know they’re supposed to be nice, but they are just full of cheese… like, crappy orange, Craft macaroni kind of cheese. As an English major, they just make me want to die, and normally it takes a lot to make me want to die.” flyinguineapig
“‘Keep calm and carry on’ – attempt at bitterization: Your feelings of stress, rage or panic, (bordering on utter terror) will continue until you quit, delegate or end it all. [Please note that this comment was for comedic purposes only and I am not in any way endorsing or encouraging suicide – which is not funny in any way!]” Lydia Devadson
“This is exactly what my Facebook newsfeed looks like.” janeybgood
On the Bitterness of Clouds:
“Here in HOT So Cal, I cannot stand any more sun. We are all dying from skin cancer over here. This is definitely a case of the clouds are always grayer on your own side. I would love a little shade and protection from my ever growing wrinkles. And the chance to make a fire and wear my expensive boots and sweaters! Well, I won’t try to talk to you about any silver linings. Hey, I won’t even say “See ya on Cloud 9.” (but this was a funny post, BB!)” Little Miss Menopause
“It was clouds that prompted Carl and Ellie to see the shape of babies in them in the movie “Up” and to paint a nursery and get pregnant, and then they had a miscarriage and grew old without children, and she died and he was left alone. Screw clouds.” Kerbey
On Bitter Friday Gifture Curse:
“I happily accept your curse and raise you a poltergeist visitation.” Lucy
“I’m sorry i couldn’t save you because a cloud took my head away. why didn’t you save me, so i could save you?” Erinspelling.wordpress.com
I decided to do a few bonus pictures, even though you are all cursed because of your bitter apathy and betrayal.
Now you can go back outdoors and get that fresh air that is going to keep you alive as long as me laying on the couch. Have Bitterness.
ARRRRGGGHHHH
Bitter Indoor Ben
Birds are not annoying – they are delicious.
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If you mean chicken then yes. If you are talking tweety, then you must be in your cat mode.
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meow
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And the kitty comes out to play.
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I am bitter, because there is no spring in Michigan it seems. While people are outdoors and getting back in tune with Mother Nature, we are freezing our butts off and wondering when the next dumping of the white stuff or some nice freezing rain may be headed our way. If spring ever gets here I promise to be bitter about something related to Spring, until then I will just keep muttering bitter curses under my breath about Michigan weather.
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There isn’t even a summer in Seattle. One year on July 4th it was 45 and windy. Bittterly cold.
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To think we are soon to head back north and it’s raining and raining and raining and raining… I don’t blame you being bitter about the clouds. I so get it. 😦
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You’re not going to like what is up here. All kinds of mudslides and rain.
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Hi Ben,
I wanted to let you know that I think you have a fab blog and I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award.
Should you wish to accept this award, please come check out my post at:
http://101challenges1001days.wordpress.com/2014/03/23/what-a-way-to-celebrate-my-100th-post-versatile-blogger-award/
– copy the versatile blogger icon from this post so you can insert this into your acceptance post.
– choose 7 random facts about yourself you wish to share.
– select 10 favourite blogs you wish to nominate for the award.
– tell your bloggers you have nominated them for the award and add a link
Please link back to my blog in your post, so I can check out your acceptance speech. 🙂
Caroline
x
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I want to let you know that you made a great decision. Except for the part about me doing anything about this. I am too lazy to post anything when it comes to awards because you know, all I want to do is sit on the couch all day.
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Lol! 😉
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That stop signs reminds me, they once did special stop signs near me once: http://www.autoblog.com/2008/05/02/confirmed-bureaucrats-have-no-sense-of-humor-funny-stop-signs/
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That makes me so bitter that people are against signs like that.
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Yay, my comment made your blog. The 2nd time this has occurred. Always so bitterly exciting. It prompts a song – – “I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now. From up and down, and still somehow. It’s cloud illusions I recall. I really don’t know clouds . . . at all.
And with that, I do believe I have exhausted all cloud references that I know of. I await your next topic.
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Keep writing bitter things and your name will keep appearing on my in case you missed it…
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Sincere apologies. I did walk my dogs this week. Three times. Oh my. I was wondering why it was so quiet out in cyber world. Thank goodness the temp is in the single digits tonight!
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That cold weather will help you be more bitter in the future and who could ask for anything more?
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Going outside when its cold is the worst. I watched children play soccer for 3 minutes in a backyard today and also got close enough to a trampoline that I almost touched it. I say I’m good for the next few months.
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Going outside when it is warm isn’t much better. Stinking fresh air is starting make me feel a little healthier.
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You’re a bitter man, Ben. I’m bitterly happy and happily bitter to know you. Lucy
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Hang around long enough and you will be bitterly bitter instead of happy.
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I’m so glad I don’t have to go outside. Sheesh there’s the Gulf, sand, seagulls, and all manner of crap trying to make me feel unbitter. NO WAY!
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Way to resist the temptation. It is starting to show how bitter you are getting. Keep up the bad work.
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I am extremely bitter right now that you do not have a plethora of weekly tweets from which I can pick out one for a sarcastic comment. Pathetic.
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I’m so sorry that I didn’t provide you fodder. I will work harder at being lazy and give even less next week because I’m not sorry at all. I’m bitter remember?
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i see myself in your magic mirror cloud, that protects you from sunscreen.i mean sun.
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naw it protects me from sunscreen.
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that’s good. i would like a cloud that protects you from goey sunscreen.do you know there’s a christmas tree callled spruce springstein?
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Does it go on the road touring?
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LOL if you ask him real nice
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I’m not nice. Would it go if I asked him bitterly?
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lol i forgpor who you were asking. the door blew open..es ist sehr windig..
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I think Springsteen.
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springsteen was as the door? what is fogpor? i guess my mind..been going downhill fast..my realtor was here for 30 min yesterday & she called april feb. that’s how bad it is here.
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I guess the mold is getting to her.
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it has gotten into me & my cough & some idiot is smoking somewhere , i had to close the balcony door
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Smoking hurts my eyes so bad.
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my eyes don’t have time. my lungs get choked 1st
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The only smoking I do is smoking opponents at basketball.
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ah. i have eaten smoked salmon.that’s as close as i will ever get..funny story about a drummer who was in santanna before a jazz musician..
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has there ever been a funny story about a jazz musician?
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oh yes many many. i have 2 off the top of my head…
1.drummer from santanns (sp) heard me saying 3 drs. said if i had mary jna i wouldn’t have to take so many presc…..so he offered to get me some…LOL i said no.
2.one guy sand harper velley pta to me, b/c i was from the south, like that’s jazz at a jazz club in d.c.
2.i called The Big 3 , cook katz & big joe said who? so previti the bass player said she means us.
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I don’t get it. I guess you have to like jazz to understand how funny those stories are.
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i guesss you do.. 1 x i was the bouncer & i threw a man out who i think was drunk.
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You were a bouncer at the jazz club right?
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lol. yes volunteer. every x someone asked me what i do , i said i’m the bouncer, they always LOL….5’2″ must be funny in evening gown
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You didn’t even get paid? Sounds like a great gig.
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i got paid in cranberry juice & cake as a bouncer
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Oh well if it is cake, then yeah.
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usually i got paid in laughs
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That is worth more than gold.
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even when they laugh at you …for saying you’re the bouncer.5’2 evening gown
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They needed something to rest their elbows on?
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only if there was no table
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This just makes me bitter. There Ain’t No Sunshine When Clouds Come….. 🙂
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Even if you hated the sun and liked something blocking the sun, clouds are still a menace that needs to be dealt with.
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Agreed…..
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