Gravity has been working hard this week. Snow had been pressing down on the east coast; skiers, snowboarders and curlers have fought it miserably in a place called Sochi, and gravity has even claimed billions of dollars from wallets on Valentine’s Day crap. Luckily, the old guy on those H&R Block commercials is going to give me all my billions back. So to get an early start on a weekened that starts with a Saint (the Saint of sappiness and sapping your money) and a Robocop(who I wish would sap my money), and ends with a celebration of Dead Presidents (and hopefully my billions of dead presidents back) let’s look back on all the lives (or at least dignity) that gravity has claimed.
Stopping to ponder a great idea….
…annnnd GOT ONE!
Why don’t you make like a tree…
…and get out of here..
Water you doing..
getting so car-ied away.
Let’s ramp things up a little…
cannon bike!
And now I will attempt to crack my head open in rush hour traffic…
Ooohhh! Epic Fail!
Well how about I get my sticky note to crack his head open…
…Nope! Still failing…
Now this biker is finally showing us how gravity works…
in Epic Monster Truck style…
The Force has learned to delay gravity for a little while…
…and your trip up to the 13th floor.
And you know who is really good at dropping all four chambers of your bitter heart into your stomach…
…this extinct guy.
This guy is the master of gravity…
…until moments later, when his invisible jet pack failed.
So whether you fail at Valentine’s, or getting President’s Day off, or with gravity somewhere in between, we will see you next time…unless gravity continues to hold me firmly on the couch, never to let me go from it’s overpowering clutches…
Arrrrrggghhhhh
Bitter Gravity Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
now don’t get jumpy.
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You really understand the gravity of the situation.
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Pingback: In case you missed it…Because you were busy becoming a Bitter All-Star | Ben's Bitter Blog
Watching that panda fall down broke all four chambers of my heart.
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So all your chambers are full of feelings? Mine are more like full of crap.
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The ponderer was pondering far too much. It looks like she hurt herself.
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Your posts kick ass. That is all.
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water you doing? that indoor pool looks just like the pool in the south tower, except ,the glass is raised in middle, so it’s an indoor & outdoor pool
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I wish i had a pool like that.
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you can: they have quite a few condos for sale
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I’m looking for a house.
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they have plenty of house,tennis villas,townhouses..i was just saying in the south tower with that pool, but you can walk afew hundred yards or ride tram-may-sept…if i had aol, i could just click & send but oceancreeksales.com
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In utah.
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with donnie & marie
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and karl malone.
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don’t know him but christopher malonie…
have to go in other
room.waiting for chow mai fun
and egg foo young
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he’s a basketball player and he is on law and order.
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wow he is both.that’s talent.like you can LOLeather & write bitter & answer 50% of phone calls
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I can’t blog about while doing all of that.
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hire a secretary to type while you dictate
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I need to hire secretary to answer the phones for me.
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me too for 14 years & need to hire more stan musials, because i only have 3 likes
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You’ve been posting a lot lately and I haven’t been able to read anyone’s stuff lately.
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& i forget to tell you things, b/c i realized it was haiku month.i was trying to type 1 a day, so the haiku fairy will bring me good luck
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That is a lot of pressure for one month.
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you’re telling me. i can’t take much more typing pressure my balloon will fly away. do you know you have a twin brother in scotland
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that is where my family comes from so yeah.
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your goating i mean kidding..but you aren’t buddhist & he isn’t bitter other than that he is your twin. he said he didn’t like math, but i think he does
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he must be my complete opposite twin.
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HEY, BEN, what’s up? Love the video of the student kerplunking into unconsciousness via someone’s un-handy work…:). And I agree with the whole over-commercialism of Valentine’s Day, I don’t care about roses that will die in a couple days, but dinner out is definitely required because you’d hear my bitchiest roar all the way to Seattle if I had to do dishes tonight! LOL. However, it doesn’t have to be expensive. In fact, we’re going to local Mexican Cantina where my favorite entree costs $7.00, including chips/salsa. And as a gift to one another, I suggested going to our local animal shelter and adopting another dog. Our black lab has been extremely lonely since her mate died last spring. My husband agreed. Valentine’s Day – easy peasy, and we have a fenced in yard, so no one has to freeze their tuckus off wading through 7-degree weather/snow to walk said canines! 🙂
Oh, and, btw, if you’re a fan of THE WALKING DEAD, check out my latest rant at: http://tenaciousbitch.com/2014/02/10/love-love-walking-dead-but-i-dont-like-that-sound/ …apparently, this particular tirade is a big hit in Madagascar. Yeah, I know right? But there were twice as many views of that post from folks in Madagascar yesterday than in the U.S., so I guess my words of woe regarding my favorite show were effected by gravity as well, LOL…geographically speaking since it’s in Southeast Africa…kinda freaky.
ANYWHO – HAPPY FRIDAY AND HAPPY VD!
TENACIOUS BITCH and company…:)
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Who knew right? It’s crazy what can happen when you see your stats and you find out what weird things people relate to.
Good job adopting your dog.
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ABSOLUTELY! 🙂 Yeah, we would never adopt a dog from a pet store. We’ve found 3 dogs now from the local rescue shelter, and they’ve been awesome dogs. One of them, Maggie, who was half Chow and half black lab died in 2009 from a weird infection. Then, we lost Bart, our German shepherd to old age this past April. And now we have Raven. Ended up not going to the shelter last weekend because of the daggone snow, and Raven needs to be updated on her shots before we can adopt another dog, which I’d forgotten about. So, she’s going to the vet on Friday, and hopefully, we’ll go to the shelter this weekend and find a mate for her. Chat with you later! 🙂
TB
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We had a dog named Bart too. I miss him. My mom spoiled him like crazy.
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What a weird coincidence! 🙂
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Crazy right?
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Yep! 🙂
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g-force, activate!!! happy and bitter everything )
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Form of…Bitter Man!
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I can always count on you BB!
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I can barely count on one hand how many times I have not been able to be counted on.
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LOL. : )
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I’m going to eat some dark chocolate-dipped strawberries and break a tree branch like a fat panda.
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I wish I had a snappy comment for you but I’m being pulled away…..
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Gravity is so mean sometimes.
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Only a woman can know how mean gravity can be.
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My tripping and falling might know a little bit about gravity.
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Most people get flowers and candy for valentines day. I’m getting a tooth pulled.
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At least you get a crown for Valentine’s Day.
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You can only have a crown on a tooth if it isn’t uprooted and put to death. 🙂
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My daughter will be so upset to learn that.
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