This week I spent a lot time and effort writing words and putting pictures on this blog in order to make sure people were completely ignoring me and they didn’t disappoint.
First, I typed some nonsensical words about Lego’s and the Lego Movie and how they are so stupid, that they are only good for stepping on and not going to the movie. I was completely and bitterly right about all of it. Some 95% of the critics got it wrong on Rotten Tomatoes and $69.1 million dollars worth of people got it wrong at the box office. It is a bitter life I live being right all the time when so many people choose to not listen to me. Whatever.
Then there was the whole Revenge thing that I work so hard at. In fact, sometime I go out of the way to goad people into getting mad at me so I can get mad at them so I can get revenge. It’s all very complicated and I would explain it to you if I could understand it myself. Just know that I will get revenge on all of you someday for some reason, just because. So feel free to be proactive and make me bitterly mad, or just sit on the couch and wait for it to come to you. You’ll all get your turn. And you will hear lot of evil laughs when it happens.
Bitter Twitters. There was mayyyy….be 1 bitter tweet last week. Well, if you don’t like it, then go ahead and follow my twitter. At least my tweets won’t be clogging up your twitter feed with Olympic updates and pictures of your toast (cause I don’t know where you live, obviously):
People commented on those few things I wrote last week for some reason:
On Lego Bitterness:
“Oh God. You are so right. Although my son is a very bright child, he has miserable visual spatial perception (as do I). Needless to say, the only thing Legos are good for are building weird abstract versions of modern skyscrapers. So you can imagine my poor guy’s disappointment when, for his birthday, he receives Lego Star Wars sets rather than just good old fashioned Star Wars toys. I mean, way to torture a kid.” quirknjive
“They are painful in many ways and require a degree in engineering and patience, neither of which I possess. My sons have outgrown them yet they continue to linger like the Axe Body Spray one of them is so fond of. Very funny and bitter post. (sorry if this is a duplicate – the original disappeared.” Diane
On The Revenge of the Gifitures:
“School is cancelled today bc it is 25 degrees. No snow, no ice. Just cold. So my son is home, and I had to call him in here to see all these great gifs (gifts essentially). We sound like a couple of Homer Simpsons, watching them. DOH!” Kerbey
“I wish I had a cat that would do that. I might buy one just to train it for the drawer trick.” rynolexson
Then just because you guys are so good at ignoring posts, I’m going post some more gifs for you to ignore.
And now I’m off to ignore you..
Arrrrrggghhhh
Bitter Ignorage Ben
I have never stepped on a Lego. Do I not know what true bitterness feels like?
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You didn’t have brothers growing up? Let’s just say your will have bitter rage if you ever do.
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I have an older brother! He’s 10 years older than me. He got me into video games as a kid and is pretty fun. My oldest sister is prett bitter, though. Maybe it’s inverted this time?
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Well, maybe he had already got his Lego phase out of the way. I’m so glad your brother got you into the video games. That is a great life skill. So who taught you how to make yummy desserts?
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Glad you didn’t miss me. I’ve been busy commenting on your posts.
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Where have you been? I guess you’ve been busy crying that the Olympics aren’t in Canada this year. Sochi envy?
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I read this to the bitter end.
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So you should be pretty bitter right now then.
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The whole ignoring thing became a lot less fun when you realized what was going on. I’m too bitter to continue.
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That’s okay. Most people stop read once they see bitter in the title. If that doesn’t stop them, it’s usually the first misspelled word.
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I confess. I have been ignoring you, but now I’m following you on WP, FB and Twitter so apparently I’ve gone from ignoring to stalking. 😉
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I’m actually more used to being ignored. I always assume that people just aren’t that good at stalking me or people just don’t like bitter people. Yeah, that’s probably it.
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Shhh, I’m completely ignoring you so you can be bitterly disappointed! I wouldn’t want to let you down.
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Dang it Snow! I am so bitterly disappointed that you completely ignored me again and didn’t put a comment!
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It’s not fair. Maniacal dolls always get a bum rap.
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I know right? Just because they go on murderous sprees, doesn’t mean they don’t have some love to give.
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You out done yourself. I am going to give you a brokers fee for finding my new home. Your pictures are superb
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I will take all your money so I can build my empire of bitterness.
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when you understand , please explain to me how i can be busy ignoring you next week also
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There are all kinds of ways that people ignore me.
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do they have a book called how to ignore bitter ben?
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I will write one if people buy it.
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i will buy it if you write…i missed this one..oh my eyes,just like your title
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So if I just write a few pages about it, and send it in an email, you will buy it?
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of course, just whatever you do, don’t send an attachment, b/c i can’t open..lockheed martin tried.
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so you will just send me a check then?
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i will send you a check.it’s in the mail, but we have no mail here
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That’s my luck. I have the worst timing.
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i will move to where they have mail
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Great so I can get paid.
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you will get paid in conch shells
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I’m so rich…
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yes. i have at least 50
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what will I do with all those clams?
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lol…give em to granny clampett she cooks them with crawdads….crawdads are next to your dithers or something – dr katz
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You can always count on the Dr.
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i can count on him, but can you? math is involved in counting
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Count Dracula.
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i never ever count dracula. he is no count monte carlo rice crispies
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He’s good at counting.
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i know. i had a stalker in high school, who used to imitate him counting all the time
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Make sure that he doesn’t sit on the counter.
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lol counter. when my mother died, he broke in & jumped out the shower & scared me…so counter sitting-not so bad…
this haiku raechel something wrote is so funny
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or put the baby on the counter.
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you can put baby on the counter but not in the corner for some reason
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I put baby in the corner all the time.
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i bet you do.you have babies. i put baby bel cheese in the corner when he grates on my nerves
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that’s really cheesy.
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lol extra cheesy cheetos are cheesy
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extra cheese on my pizza too.
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of course extra cheese x ‘s 4. that’s math but i promise you’ll like it.
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I would love a quad cheeseburger.
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oooh that’s sounds good. is there such a thing?do they exist?
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if there is, I’m eating it.
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order one for me too! and baked fries
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I think I had one with quad patties.
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oh yeah.i forgot about that one in your picture , the size of milwaukee.. i have bitter d.c. moving today & too many things on my mind realtors & inspectors …………………………………………………………………….
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you are back to DC now?
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no. i need nexium.. the movers are moving me in d.c. or did all day i guess .i can’t look …but i am in s.c. chile
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So they are moving your stuff in DC? You have a place there?
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it’ was wed…selling condo that i left in 2004.. closing 3/13/14
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I’m closing down soon, because I don’t want to work anymore. It’s Friday for goodness sake.
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go ahead & close down for goodness sake.
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I pretty much zoned out for the day.
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pizza day will do that too you. i am zoned for gluten free pizza crust
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I am already zoning out for today.
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LOL .i thought you were zoned for unloading & loading pizza?
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Most load, then unload later.
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LOL..i bet you just put the empty pizza boxes back on the bitter truck.
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Nope the pizza goes in the bitter mouth.
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is that the pizza talking? i’m bitter b/c it’s 3 more days til pizza friday.
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only two now.
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2 is much better..i want bell pepper or red & black olives & 7 cheeses
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Really cheesy.
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how do you mean that . .. both ways
cheesy in the breezy outside makes pizza cold
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I mean cheesy like the pizza I’m going to have tomorrow..on pizza.
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ah i see..i like eggpalant parmesan on top of my cheesy pizza sometimes.
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I had some today too, but not with eggplants.
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i’m glad.i wish i had.
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no pizza.
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i need pizza..been tooo long ben
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It’s been since saturday for me.
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2 days for benny benny easter benny…over 2 months for
shazunkel,more than 4 really..i eat chinese 3 x’s a day since dec.
that’s what my brother called me instead of rapunzel, when i was little.. if i was 7 he was 27.
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because you had long hair.?
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yes.lol it’s longer now and he doesn’t call me that. he calls me whyareyousodifficult
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Did he break your hair-t?
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lol yes very much…like how can he not know why i’m so difficult
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I guess you were too hair raising .
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yes & just 10 minutes ago i told him my credir card is not working & i’ve been trying to find 5 minutes for 2 months, to figure out why my tongue feels like it’s tearing but so many things are going wrong i can’t think…can you believe the mover wants it now, when i had the card sitting here for months to give him.lol
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i wrote a poem about bitter wind one day & added this is a boring wind poem last night in the poem.lol
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bitter wind poems are better than boring wind poems.
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i missed these again,someone was in the middle of your sandwich.
but my poem was both. i didn’t say but you had to wear a big scarf, luckily i’ve made 200.LOL.. but it was like 20 mph in your neck facing north
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you made 200 poems or 200 scarves?
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200 scarves.. maybe more than 200 poems..i’m doing math in my head .huh
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I can’t figure out that math problem. By the way, no wonder they call math “a problem”.
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LOL yes they should call it a problem..by the way. alittle less funny & more bitter,you make me laugh so hard i cough.
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That sounds like a problem. Coughing can kill you.
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yes i know
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When I read your title each week I have to smile and think “whoops I’d better comment!”.
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Because you know the bitter revenge that will take place if you cross the bitter blogger. It is pure mayhem.
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