My entire life and I assume everyone else’s, people have been mean. That is thing about us humans. We have an innate desire to be mean. The way you react to people shows the type of person you are. Most people do their best to turn the other cheek or discuss their feelings with someone about how the mean thing makes them feel. I, on the other hand, immediately start planning and plotting the best way to get revenge. The bitterer the betterer. In fact, my abilities to get revenge on someone is so strong, that one of my companions on my mission started calling me Revengerman. This post of Giftures is dedicated to all those who seek and get revenge.
What you don’t see is what happens immediately after this…
The monkey gets him tale pulled…
I will tell you we are off to steal some pennies from the free penny jar at the gas station…
..then pull out really fast in my car because you’re a dork!
I will sneak into your backyard really stealth like…
…and steal the most rare substance on earth called water that only covers 80% of the earth! HAHA!
I will pretend to work today by typing things on my computer…
…when really all I’m doing is blogging…
I will call in sick on Monday…
…when really I’m jumping on the trampoline all day not working…ha ha!
Oops….
I accidently placed this creepy red ballon there. How did that happen?
Hey! Good game, I know you didn’t cheat to win 40-12. No hard feelings. Before you go, let me just take one more shot….
…at your head!
I will leave my car on the tracks just as you are pulling up to the train tracks and you will be forced to try to save me….
…then boom! I will scare you with a slow moving train…
I will build up a large amount of snow on top of my truck and have you follow…
then when you least suspect it…I will go under a bridge and spray snow at you and it will cause you to have to use your windshield wipers! So evil!
I will again stand on the railroad tracks waiting for a train…
…then throw a ball at you causing you to look like a dork with your thumbs up gesture…
I will climb into your kitchen cabinets appearing to be gone forever….
then when you least suspect it….jump out of the top drawer.
So, be lazy today at work and get revenge on your boss for actually having your work this week. Or go home and plot your bitter revenge some other way. I don’t care.
Arrrrrggggghhhhh
Bitter Revengerman
Ben's Bitter Blog 
BB, I absolutely love your comments with the videos. You make them twice as funny!
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I went to comment school when I was younger, but failed out of most of my classes. I did do well in Gif class though which is the Gif comment guy you see before you.
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Um, the train gif makes my skin crawl. Too close. Too. Close.
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Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t see the other one I did a couple of weeks ago. It was a way faster train and a way closer call.
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I never knew I should be glad Rory doesn’t hang out in drawers. The bathtub is so much less creepy. I guess.
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Who knows. Rory might want climb through the showerhead into the spicket. You never know with these cats.
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Pingback: In case you missed it…Cause you were busy ignoring me all week | Ben's Bitter Blog
Gnarly bitterness at play here. Love the monkey n tiger, though. I’m feeling the love for the most bitter monkey of all.
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That tiger doesn’t even know what is coming for him. That was just the beginning.
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I spend my life exactly like that monkey. My revenge, and I have some planned, but THIS week, it would consist of finding the person responsible for giving me their cold and then make them watch the Ice Dancing short program at Sochi. Also to be joined by the person who ate my peanut butter chocolate chip cookie at work. Bitter much?
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I guess there are a lot of bitter colds out there. They will be avenged.
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You gave me some great ideas for the next person who ticks me off
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Pretty much any time I talk to someone, either they or I get ticked off. So I have lots of opportunities.
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i love these and will try to incorporate at least the monkey and tiger tail pull move. into my repertoire.
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Make sure it is to one of the kids in your class without getting in trouble with their parents.
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I’ve been thinking – the best way to get revenge on you would probably be to run up to you, give you a big hug, and tell you to have a nice day. The tighter the squeeze the better, right?
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That would be revenge at its most cold hearted. I’m afraid my anti hug DNA would blast anyone that tried to hug me 50 feet easy. Do it at your own risk.
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Totally went with being lazy today – and I didn’t care either. Good to be bitter.
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It’s Friday, so laziness is the bare minimum. Try to mix in a little apathy and bitterness on the side.
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Sunday laziness got interrupted by laughing. Bitterness restored, but then so what? Your work here is done.
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My work is never done. Which is not only because of laziness, but also procrastination.
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That “I have done nothing productive all day” gif is so perfect.
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It pretty much explains everything I do every day. People keep hoping to get something productive out of me.
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I laughed way too hard at this and proceeded to piss myself. The real question here is that I know I can’t be the only one to purposely keep the snow on top of my van though, right?
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I sure hope you cleaned yourself up as soon as you pissed yourself, cause you know, that probably made you bitter.
I always make sure I have things on my car that will shoot out when I go under bridges so people have something to be bitter at me about.
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Reblogged this on angelflysaway.
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i wish i had a cat that would do that. i might buy one just to train it for the drawer trick.
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It’s not worth it for a kitten. They grow up to become cats and they are more spoiled than any kids will ever be.
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I picture you living in some kind of gothic castle with constant flashing lightning.
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And cackling like a maniac?
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Yep, and for some reason, there’s flying monkeys all around you
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It would be awesome to have flying monkeys to do my bidding…but I’m not cleaning up after them.
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Revenge looks like a lot of fun my bitterest friend! 🙂
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It definitely takes a lot of bitterness to be good at.
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School is cancelled today bc it is 25 degrees. No snow, no ice. Just cold. So my son is home, and I had to call him in here to see all these great gifs (gifts essentially). We sound like a couple of Homer Simpsons, watching them. DOH!
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I hate when the air is responsible for schools closing.
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Eenie meanie….you are definitely IT!
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The monkey would probably not want to be it.
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seriously that monkey is crazy to pull a tiger’s tail
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Not if he’s faster at climbing trees than the tiger. Checks and balances.
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but tigers climb trees.i thought i saw a putty cat climb on that tiger channel
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How do they climb trees?
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i don’t know, but i saw it on that mean animal channel at 5 am..this man whispers on camera & talks about tigers…pokes his head thru sunroof while they walk by , whispering..i could do that
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But did they ever actually show them climbing?
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possibly but my eyes were closed. i did however see them in the tree on the limb & i don’t know if someone put them there.
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So you were sleep watching it?
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yes, lol, i was trying to sleep..unsuccessfully…that man has a calm golf voice….
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I didn’t even know you slept.
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good one.. wed i slepy 4 am – 8 am
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4 whole hours. sounds like me.
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you and president clinton
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That depends on what the definition of “is” is.
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LOL hahahaha..it is what it is mr. muse-ial .. you missin dr katz limerick
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I will scare you with a slow moving train…lol. My favorite line. You are a riot and I mean that in every sense of the word. Are you sure we don’t live in the same town because that snow in the back of the truck thing……
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I would like to start a riot at work, throw my papers in the air, after dipping them in gasoline and lighting a match. Then walk out the door without a care like Ryan Gosling.
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And I would like to see it:) that would be awesome!
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I will take videos and post them when I do it.
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I look forward to seeing that. I will stand up and cheer 🙂
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You must have worked here in the past.
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Hey, how’d you get a gif of me climbing into your drawers? Wait, that didn’t come out right…
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Nothing about that whole gif and that statement are right. But the Clever Girl doesn’t mince words.
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They say revenge is a dish best served cold. What say you?
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I would say that I really like my ice cream cold. So serve it up with some ice cream.
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