It is Friday and things have been a little too ambitious up in here. For instance, I hear the weather in the vortexy area of the United States is working overtime stacking two inches of fat stacks of white frozen angel water upon the grounds of Georgia. When even weather is trying to meet goals, it is time to slow down. It is almost February people! This is the time of the year when people are giving up on our resolutions! Get less motivated people! Start to quit! In case you needed some help, here are some demotivational gifs to get you back to slacking this week:
Set the bar lower for goodness sake:
Take a stab at how you think my meager goals are doing.
That’s good for today…
Knock that one domino out of the park.
Do a little less Facetime chatting:
Nailed it…
Do you ever feel like a paper bag…
You are a firework…
Here we go…First load of the day…
aaannnd I’m done…
Show someone how much you despise them…
With the gift of bees….
Go nowhere fast…
..or not so fast.
Quit that diet…
…even faster…
Go to a concert…
and get some bitter revenge…
Start a new career…
…then get fired.
So let’s recap. Set goals low, accomplish as little as possible each day, get less facetime, quit early, show people how much you despise them, go nowhere fast, quit your diet, get bitter revenge, and get fired. Most of all, cultivate, grow and nourish that inner bitterness you have so been wanting to free. Show everyone how bitter you truly feel. There is no bitter day to do that than Friday.
AAAAARRrrrrrrgggggghhhhh
Bitter Goal Disappointment Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Funny and bitter as always…
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There is always something to be bitter about, that is for sure.
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Oprah and the bees!!! Thank you for setting my Monday right even though you posted this on Fridizzle
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If only Oprah was the one getting stung instead of the audience.
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Seems to me that if I do everything you recommend at the end of the post, I’m going to be pretty busy. Aren’t you contradicting yourself?
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I never said I was doing them. I just told you to.
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Reblogged this on Cousin Belle's and commented:
From “Ben’s Bitter Blog” – animated gifs!
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Love your ‘gif’ posts and that makes me super bitter because WP new crap roll out is messing with my posts. I can’t even do anything. I mean supposing I were going to. Not that I am. But IF I wanted to…
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I know. They keep messing with my bitterness. Can’t they just let me bitter in peace? So you bitter about the Seahawks not shutting out the Broncos?
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I was just sick about it. 42-8? What the hell, I gave the Bronco’s 34…bitter? I just KNEW I should have bet the Bovado line.
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Way to bet on it. That is the best way to be bitter about a game.
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Oprah needs to think about changing careers and becoming a super villain. Seriously.
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I would love to be a villain, but not if that lady is going to be one. I don’t want to be associated with her.
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I am particularly bitter this Friday. I did a bunch of editing on some older posts and the new WP App for iPhone that was pushed out yesterday saved the all to the wrong date folder and now none of my links work. (Is there an emoticon for bitter?)
http://contrafactual.com/2014/01/31/42-days-of-pain/
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Luckily, the app screwed up things in Android too, so we can all be bitter about it.
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Hey, Ben. You have been awarded the Versatile Blogger Award. Congrats. To get instructions go to:
http://wp.me/p2RT1G-g7
Again, congratulations. Love your bitter blog. Lucy
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I don’t know to say except, “It’s an honor just being nominated and when do I get my million dollar prize for getting nominated.
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I’ll have to take up a collection. Can I get back to you on that?
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I can wait a few days.
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Aw, perfect timing as I crack open a bottle of wine and a packet of crisps and send a two-faced little prick a “got ya” email 😉 Bitter Eye on Latvia 🙂
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Is that what you eat in Latvia? A packet of crisps and two faced crackers?
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And lard 😉
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Now lard sounds super bitter. Sign me up.
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I’m at least considering it
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You should always consider being bitter on a Friday.
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LOL the Bees…how did you find that GIF? That is brilliant. I can’t stop laughing.
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The bees make me so bitter because they keep wanting to sting me. I did a post about six months ago about how one whacked me on the arm and flew in my car window. I was way too overdramatic about it.
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Great advice as usual. In fact I may have to quit commenting as it seems to be exhausting my fingers.
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My finger got exhausted this morning when I hit the snooze button.
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Thank you for the most awesome blog I’ve read this week!
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Wow, the blogs have been really low quality this week huh?
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Haha
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My comment wont post. Its making me bitter. All I wanted to stay was that Taylor Swift looks like a horse.
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Commenting is hard enough without having to deal with WordPress sabatoging your Taylor Swift is a horse comment.
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‘white frozen angel water’ that’s beautiful!
http://www.awordofsubstance.wordpress.com
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Some people call it snow that doesn’t really explain it.
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Bees is classic…
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Nothing more bitter than Oprah and he bees show.
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use common sense while making and achieving goals 🙂
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I wasn’t give common sense when I was programmed.
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no wonder 😉
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People always wonder about me.
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You are a mystery:-)
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I’m a national man of bitterness and mystery.
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well..congrats 🙂
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Because I don’t go international. They won’t let me out.
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