A long time ago (a whole Thursday ago), you went to someone’s house that didn’t like you, and you didn’t like them, but you were forced to because they insisted that you not sit at home alone blissfully playing video games or laying on the couch. You drove three hours to get to their house, just so you could wait three more, without a wifi password or a TV that you couldn’t see from space. The football game you were watching was the Raiders, who, come on really the Raiders? Finally you were able to stop small talking to your relative of a relative that had relatively nothing in common with you, and you took your first bite of turkey, officially making it Christmas and now, you wake up on Monday morning to an alarm that is telling you have to go to work. (First clue that you just woke up from a coma? Your alarm is talking to you.) In that time, several things have happened. You missed some riots, some more small talk from relatives and some blog posts from your least favorite blog. (That’s mine since your memory is shot.)
So, what did you miss?
Some posts: I started a toy company. Don’t get too worried. I named it Bitter Dreams Toy Company and it is totally not going bankrupt because of your lack of orders. Thanks very little everyone who didn’t buy anything.
On Thursday, (the day you went into a coma) I wrote about an especially bitter day for Tum’s (with the exception of a few lucky ones). They looked forward with anticipation to that day and being let down was especially bitter.
Then on Friday, I did my typically lazy and boring photos with captions and something bitter about each in Thanksgiving Friday Pictures Bitterness.
You might have also missed some Bitter Twitters:
You might have missed some Bitter Comments:
Bitter Dreams Toy Company:
“Not to be negative or anything, but I’m sure you know these products already exist. However, I do think you could make them more exclusive by raising the price 20%-30% and advertising only in exclusive magazines.” Cat9984
“The pictures you find crack me up every time!! Toys for the Detailed picture is like a scary version of where’s waldo.” Life Full of Jules
“Bitter Dreams Toy Company, do you make a jack in the box where jack never comes out? I know just the annoying kid to give it too *rubs palms together supervillian style*” Miss Four Eyes
Tum’s Bitterly Favorite Day:
” Hm….now I know what to fill my husband’s Christmas stocking with this year. All day yesterday he sat on the couch grumbling, “I can’t breathe! I’m having a heart attack!” I was like, um, no, you just ate your weight in turkey…” She’s a Maineiac
“Mmmm Tums. I used to eat those like candy when I was in Mexico. Crunchy, chalky, delicious.” Aussa Lorens
“LOL so tums who work out hard get to become extra strength…are nexium like the navy seals of tums?” Erinn Spelling
Thanksgiving Friday Pictures Bitterness:
” Happy Thanksgiving and day after Black Friday! I sought refuge from all the bitter Black Friday fights and stayed home…and that might be the only time I’m NOT bitter about not shopping! ” Lucky Wreck
“It’s no fun watching the fire when you don’t have a fireplace. We had start using furniture to keep ours going.” Katie
“Can you believe I actually went shopping on Black friday to save money on SOCKS!!?? How pathetic!” Perfection Pending
I found some bonus pictures:
Hopefully waking up from your coma will help you forget most of you good life and you can learn to focus on the bitterness, like me.
Arrggghhhh
Bitter Forgiter Ben
Related articles
- In case you missed it…It was a lazy week (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- In case you missed it…This will help you forget (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- In case you got lost on the internet highway and didn’t find your way to Bitter Street.. (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
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i want the dog in that green hat for hanukkah, but i will make him a blue hat & sweater
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I would have got him for you, but Hanukkah is already rover.
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oh how sweet & funny already rover.do you know that dog?
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Isn’t he the dog of Hannakuh Harry?
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you’re kidding? i want him.
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You can have him. I can’t have a dog rovering around my house.
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lol. i want a rovering dog : rover come over.
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What color of rover do you want sent over?
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they say red. i say blue
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Blue rover, blue rover send rover over to Erinn.
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yes but no tryptofan just blue range rover with blue rover
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They used to call me mr. Ben Dover.
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i’m glad they stopped. mr ben there done that should be your name
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Who knows if they stopped. I have Ben here for a long time.
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haw long have you been here. i know they stopped.’it ‘s time for strawberry long cake. i found a recipe.you should put your tall cake there
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since 1973. blog since march 2012
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1973 a good year for thee to dee & dough…
that was in a chevy chase movie or goldie hawn..
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not a fan of goldie hawn or her spawn, Kate.
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no? not even private benjamin?
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not even that.
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i think i’ve seen every goldie & daughter film
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On purpose? Why?
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yes.i don’t know why.i like them,i think.
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Weird. Well, I will agree to disagree with you on them.
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my father liked to say that & if we saw twins- they were sin twisters
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Sinister twinisters.
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minister tennisstar
verblungit – waitress who gets confused
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verblungit?
Rabbit Federer?
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opossum federerer
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I meant rabbi federer.
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i don’t know him.. i know cousin feder
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i think you were saying something about tennis and religion, so i named federer, who is a tennis player and a rabbi.
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then that’s very funny. i thought he was a rap guy: i was wrong.
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you’ve never been wrong before.
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every day i am wrong in decisions
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I don’t think I’ve ever been right…
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well you are wrong right now,when you say that
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See…even when I’m right, I’m wrong.
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i did see that, but you are right now .you were wrong about being wrong, but you are usually right
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but now I’m wrong. and bitter.
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i’m bitter having to say you are wrong about being wrong
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so now you are finally bitter? yeah!
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i’m always bitter,even in my sleep
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you should start a bitter blog.
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yes i have enough for infinity & beyond
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You are already maintaining two blogs, maybe more.
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i’m not maintaining one even.i can’t even maintain my one brain, but other is a secret only for muses to know…it was a place for 1 person & i didn’t expect 50 people to find me the 1st 2 weeks…there is no other 1 & i hope this self destructs
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is that one person reading it. I will self destruct myself off of it if you want.
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i only wanted you to self destruct the comment about 2, not your self, but yes it was intended originally only for 1 person to read…uncategorized, how people found it was beyond me.
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You might consider a different way of communicating with that person than a blog that is on wordpress. Perhaps an email? or text?
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i am bitter that community is all new tonight, when i thought it was cancelled
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I am bitter that you are not loving the new Community last night.
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i know i’m sorry , you guessed it i wached old people channel, cbs – big bang theory,then nbc from 9- 11 & i am bitter about that depressing parenthood show..it rips your heart out..can’t take anymore soap opera .if they wan t a real soap opera- tape my life..just now i watched abc- assets from last night on hulu
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I guess you CBS people are too old for a fantastic show like Community.
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i know a lady who’s 69 & has to be home by 8 on tues to watch ncis on cbs, b/c she thinks mark harmon is cute…
i only watched cbs from 8-8:30 & nbc from 9-11
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I feel bad that you and that lady have to watch NCIS.
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don’t feel bad, b/c i don’t watch ncis. i wouldn’t watch something, b/c someone is cute
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I watch something that is funny.
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me too.comedy is queen or king
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Community is full of comedians.
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who aren’t very funny
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you know what’s funny.now i have to know the weather in 2 states..the mover said it snowed so he didn’t know if he could get to my condo for an /estimate
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here’s 1st page…the whole time, i have been trying to get into my own home, the buyer’s had a pass to get in & could have let the mover in, for 2 weeks
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dr katz’es father said “if the rain keeps up,it won’t come down”
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Now that is funny.
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it was funny.wait it was funny the 1st time 15 yrs ago. not so funny yesterday, now that i think about it, when it was raining inside..i think ben katz is 40 yrs old.
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We might be the same person.
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you’re kidding,really?
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He was based on me. He’s lazy just like me.
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i know if you ate cereal on the couch then he is you
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Yep, that is me.
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as long as it’s leather ,the milk will come out.
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I’d even settle for fake leather if there are Frosted Flakes involved.
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as soon as i typed that the rain got very loud.
tony the tiger
thinks frosted flakes are great
even on fake leather.
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replace tony the tiger with ben the bitter.
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i have done so already: ben the bitter flakes are great.
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They are great.
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how about some gluten free frosted flakes?
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How bout no way.
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how bout a one way ticket to some reese’s peanut butter cup cereal ?
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Yeah, as long as there is a return ticket.
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i’m printing some return tckets but they are in the queen’s english whatever that is
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It’s the english the queen speaks.
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oh narcissism.just joking
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OooOooooOoo I made the comments! I feel so fancy now.
And… I want those pandas. All of them. For cuddles.
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You are fancy bitter now. They will be available for snuggles as soon as they are over their Thanksgiving dinner of leaves and ….that’s it.
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Are your relatives of relatives talented AND filthy rich? If not, don’t complain to me!
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Not filthy rich, but they are semi-famous in Branson. They don’t share with me, other than their talent.
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I like bitter because than I don’t feel like such an ass for being bitter. You hit all the nails on their subsequent heads. I had thanksgiving just down the street with people I adore and laughed my ass off. BUT. Then drove the next day 5 hours somewhere I detest to sit in a hoarder’s house on a couch I’m quite sure is infested with mice. Stepped in a hairball. Left reeking of cig smoke and despair. Ahhh, family. If you can’t laugh about it…..drink a lot of wine.
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A perfectly good meal is ruined by poor company. Being in a tryptophantic coma makes it a lot easier to avoid people.
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Sooooo goddamned funny!
The pandas are adorable and look just like me!
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So you are calling yourself adorable like a Panda? I would have found a bitter rhubarb and said it looked like me.
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I hope you were able to have somewhat of a tolerable Thanksgiving.. I mean, as good of one that the bitterness would allow
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I spent it driving all day, so you know, I even find something to complain about when I’m off work for four days. I should have gone to your Thanksgiving.
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Sadly, I was the panda still trying to make my room for more bamboo. (My cousins always have to try these weird recipes.)
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My cousins are weird too, being all magically talented at playing instruments and being all talented by the time they can breathe. Don’t they know they are supposed to be untalented like the rest of our family?
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I went back into my sugar coma just looking at that picture of Kit Kat lasagne. Excuse me while I go eat a salad to counteract…
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Salad will just make it worse.
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i love navy seals ,because they never give you heartburn,except the actor navy seals on tv or in the movies
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signed, navy sealed and delivered.
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LOL that’s hilarious..now i’m going to sing that song that way
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post that on Youtube.
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lol..okay:people would pay me to stop singing
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maybe a good way to make some money.
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yes you’re a genius
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You tube it is!
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inner tube water polo
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Marco. Water. Polo.
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they play that here all the time & people on tv are always saying marco, so i say polo.
porque polo
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because you have pools? we don’t have those here much.
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yes 8 pools , 2 jacuzzis.. can see indoor pool from balcony..so can raccoon
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the only indoor pool we have is our bathtub.
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lol.that’s the best kind
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When it doesn’t leak.
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does it leak navy seals
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Only when they aren’t extra strength.
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i want it to leak navy seals, or just seals.
seals are good for leaks
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You gotta seal the deal.
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you want the seals to deal me a hand of poker.
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You’ll knead an under the sea dealer.
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i’ll knead some pizza dough while i’m looking for one
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I think Ariel’s sisters are blackjack dealers.
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i hope so.i’ll swim under & ask her.why are you awake at 6 am?
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I wake up for work really early.
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i see that.that’s too early
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LOL..i hate when i have relatively nothing in common with a relative of a relative & the relative, just like you.
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I just mostly hate small talk.
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what constitutes small talk? the weather? i hate small talk with strangers too or relatives of relatives…a good story…my cousin r married d..his cousin ^ i were 7 at their wedding… we met again a few years ago at their daughter’s wedding..relative of relative.. i ate w/ them all week-end.. he & i went to my jazz club in tux & gown.lol…
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anything like that. weather, how was your weekend, etc.
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my week-end had no weather. it had potato latkes.did you drive all those millions of miles there just to eat & then go back?
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