In case you missed it…This will help you forget

/ bensbitterblog
In case you missed the Fresh Press.

Sometimes I forget what I forgot.

Don’t you hate when you forget something?  For me, it is either my wallet, phone, keys, 3DS, or that today is Monday.

You on the other hand, may have forgotten to read some of my bitter posts.  Here is my unhandy guide to going back into the past and doing something you will regret.

I did some posts:

I did a post about something I’m really unfamiliar with.  Exercise.  In fact, I actually had to look up how to spell it, I’m so unfamiliar.  As far as it goes for me, walking up a flight of stair is enough. So you can imagine how pushing a kid on a plasma bike would have been.  I was icing my knees for weeks.

Because of that exercise my pain hasn’t gone away.  When I was 20 somehow pain used to go away.  Now, only when I take a heavy painkiller called Aleve does it go away for about 20 minutes.  You know what else doesn’t go away?  Well, a lot of things that you don’t think about as told in my rant worthy post Bitter Things that Won’t Go Away.  If you’ve never read any of my posts, this is the one I would highly recommend as one that would show my ranting at its best(or worst depending on you bitterness level).

Then along came Friday and like a kid you know who does stupid stuff every day at the same time, I did something predictable.  Some would call that a regular feature on a blog, something to look forward to.  I would call it laziness and a way to get out of doing a post about something that makes me bitter.  But, as you know, I don’t care.  So read this weekly (or weakly) throwaway post Unlucky Friday Picture Bitterness, so I can finally get my syndicated talk show I haven’t been dreaming about, that gets cancelled after one week, but gives me money in perpetuity every time someone thinks about bitterness(Imana copyright this thing).

I tweeted horribly about random stuff this week:

People complained about my bitterly written posts:

On Exercise Bitterness:

“You might want to add in eye-rolls or teeth sucks so that you can better show your utter disgust with what transpires around you….” The drunken Cyclist

“One exercise I really love is called deep breathing. I sit still and really focus on expanding my lungs and “engaging my core and obliques.” (I have no idea what that entails, but I hear it a lot).” Katie

“I have one called deep-frying, it entails a little bit of extra effort, but it’s totally worth it, and you even add food to it, which is the best part!” Clever Girl Eats

On Bitter Things that Won’t Go Away:

“Papa Murphy’s can suck it. They are located adjacent to our grocery store, which has an entire freezer full of pizza two dollars cheaper than PM’s, which I also can just take home and bake. (If there weren’t a Domino’s on the way home full of hot, real pizza.) Maybe I should just open a store w/ bread and meat and lettuce and throw it in a bag and let them “take and make” their own sandwich at home like a peon. BTW, I was just at said grocery store and as I left, it started pouring rain, and sweet Yeezus, it is COLD out there! Like the heat hasn’t stopped running all day. Is that what Seattle feels like? It doesn’t make one want to venture out.” Kerbey

“We are hoping to go to Disneyland in February. I’m preparing to be homeless after. ;)” Perfection Pending

“I think Garfield needs to make a comeback and kick Mickey Mouse to the curb. At least he takes on the world with sarcasm.” Prosewithabbitude

On Unlucky Friday Picture Bitterness:

“If only my bitter beard and mustache looked like Belle’s!  Movember is almost over and only my black mustache stands out! :) – Brickhouse Chick

“All I know is that my rabbit is really glad you don’t believe in good luck. He doesn’t have to worry about losing a paw if you visit.” Cat9984

“…if the glass is looking empty, somebody needs a refill.  i say….” Lisa Sawyer Johnson

Bonus Pictures were found:

That’s where my car ended up:

I hate when someone steals my car.

I hate when someone steals my car.

A surefire way to do math:

I'm an expert at first grade math.

I just passed first grade math last year.

How I feel about YouTube and Google Plus:

I think Google + is having seperation anxiety.

I think Google + is having seperation anxiety.

Don’t you hate it when you lock your keys in your ignition?

Okay got my Ipod, my phone, my wallet. Alright, close the door. Okay, let do this moon thing. Wait my keys...oh crap.

Okay got my Ipod, my phone, my wallet. Alright, close the door. Okay, let do this moon thing. Wait my keys…oh crap.

May your week with your families or sitting alone at the Ihop be as bitter as ever.

Arrrrgggghhhhh

Bitter Forgetful Ben

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100 thoughts on “In case you missed it…This will help you forget”

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  10. I am coming up for air from drowning in college applications and financial aid forms for my daughter! I am VERY BITTER about this. I already went to college, why do I have to go through this again (I just did it with my son 2 yrs ago). I am bitter about all the questions on the financial aid forms I have to answer so that in the end they give us NO MONEY! Arghhhh! I’d like to have Amnesia right now.

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  15. I share your exercise bitterness. I began substitute teaching four weeks ago. Last Tuesday I accepted a position as special ed gym teacher. I was a gym sub previously and all went well from the sidelines. But for special ed I had to participate. It was the most fun and rewarding assignment I’ve had so far, but I had to take the next two days off. My legs and butt were so sore I couldn’t move!

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