I blogging alone this month
November is my bitterest blogging time of the year. There is a little known fact that just about everyone on WordPress is participating in NaNoWriMo, NaBloPoMo, or Movember and I just have one thing to say to all these weirdos. Thanks a whole lot. I mean it. Now that you people will be busy writing all your happy and interesting stories, you won’t have time to bother me or my blog. I will be like Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) from Home Alone, where I can blog at home about all the things I don’t like about you and your blogs and you won’t be reading them and you won’t be bothering me. Maybe a couple of bumbling WordPress criminals will stalk my blog house in order to steal bitter words from me, but I will foil them with fake silhouettes of reader comments to fool them into thinking that all sorts of people are visiting my bitter blogs this month. So enjoy your boring vacation in sunny Hawaiipress.
“So tell me Bitter Ben, what did I miss this week?” BB asked.
“I’m glad you asked, Bitter Ben, since I didn’t read everything I wrote,” Bitter Ben retorted.
“Well, I wrote three posts. On Tuesday, I did a post called Download Bitterness,” BB said bitterly.
“Why?” Bitter Ben asked.
“Cause my Xbox took over an hour to download a 600 MB file, but it has taken me 40 years to download about 1% of math. Just kind of bitter about things taking so long,” says BB.
“What else?” Bitter Ben asks curiously.
“Well, on Thursday, since it was Halloween, I thought I give Bitter Reasons for Being Tall, because it has zero things in common with Halloween. I’m thematic like that,” BB says.
“Anything else I can avoid reading?” Bitter Ben says.
“Yesterday I did the Friday Picture post, you know the boring one where I just find pictures from the internet and write stuff about them?” Bitter Ben says.
“Yeah, you are such a lazy turd,” BB says.
“Did you Twitter anything this week?” Bitter Ben says.
“Well, duh. Lots to be bitter about in 140 characters.”
“Were there any good comments?” Bitter Ben asks.
“You mean besides mine? Not really. But there are these,” BB says.
“I’ve always believed running is the root of all evil. Now I know for sure.” – She’s a Maineiac
“You strive to submerge to the lowest level of expectations. That takes talent. 
” – Floridabourne
“It makes me a little sad to know that my kids will never know that tortured feline sound the internets used to make in the olden days.” – Kaela Moore
“I’m at -8% download. Not a good day. 
” – Kerry’s Organized Chaos
“Such trauma! Have you seen anyone about this? Bitter Halloween, Tall Face! ” – Swimming to my 50’s
Some Bonus Pictures of my Month of Blogging Alone:
I’m blog home alone.
I’m not prejudice, I’m bitter about everyone the same:
I’m selectively avoiding all bloggers this month.
Stars make me think of you.
Flames also make me think of you.
Since I will be standing in line a lot people should know not to stand close to me.
Please, make sure you stand close to me in line because you’ll still get to the front later.
“Anything else you want to share today?” Bitter Ben asked.
“Yeah, can’t wait to tell myself all the bitter things that no one else will get to read this month. I’m going to fall well short of 50,000 words too. Cause that many words make me bitter.”
“Thanks a lot, Bitter Ben,” BB says sarcastically.
“Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh,” Bitter Ben said.
Bitter Home Alone Ben
Related articles
- If you are Bitter and Lazy like me you missed it…. (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- In case you got lost on the internet highway and didn’t find your way to Bitter Street.. (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- If you missed bitterness this week, your aim was a little off (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
Ben's Bitter Blog 
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I had no idea od all these wordpess events. Im too busy slaving away on the basis of someone else’s whim. Long live bitterness!
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WordPress didn’t start any of them. It’s just that most everyone that blogs are writers too. So they all do the 50K words or post a day things in November. Just another reason to bitter because they are ignoring my blog.
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you have a nice rapport with yourself!
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Actually I don’t even get along with myself.
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Pingback: In case you missed it…It was a lazy week | Ben's Bitter Blog
I didnono about nanonowriwhatever, but I was wondering… not participating. Just wondering.
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It’s best to just wonder about it. Most of the work that comes out of it is crap.
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No NanoWriting here. I pat myself on the back when I get a couple blog posts out in a month, forget 50,000 words of a novel. Should I be bitter about that? Hadn’t occurred to me, but now that I read your blog…
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You should be bitter about a lot of things. I point them out to you because I am nice that way. By the way, I just got Freshly Pressed. You spread the disease.
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I’m personally celebrating NaNoNoWriMo — National Not Novel Writing Month.
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I congratulate you on your decisiveness. Just make sure you don’t say it too loudly or they Nano will be out your house to force you to write at gunpoint.
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As far as I’m concerned, you’ve treated the NaNoBlo-I-Don’t-Know acronym ridiculousness so un-bitterly, that from now I’m calling this Ben’s Sweet Blog. Or BeSweBlo.
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How dare you call me sweet. I will shower bitterness upon you, your home, and your gunmetal for causing me such bitterness for calling me sweet.
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Hmm, I don’t know if you can spare it. After your display of sweetness, you need to hang on to whatever bitterness you have left.
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Wow accusations flying right and left. Don’t worry. Despite the accusation of even knowing what sweet means, I know that I am bitter to the core and that is all that matters. Bring it on sweet person (whatever that means).
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Your bitterness knows no bounds. I’ve decided to put nano off until next month. That way I don’t have to do Xmas and shit.
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I’m not going to let Nano tell me when I can do it. I’ll start my 50,000 words in January 2009 and continue until whenever I feel like my book is ready to be published.
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I No NaNo either. I will keep you company so that you won’t feel too lonely not NaNoing, but only if you play the Commodore’s Brick House. 🙂
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I’m pretty okay being lonely and bitter on my blog.
Though not sure what Commodore’s Brick House is, I am intrigued.
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I figured you would be ok being lonely and bitter on your own. But if I were to accompany you, I would ask that you play my theme song, The Commodore’s Brick House 🙂
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Ah the old theme song. I didn’t know they were the group that sang that song.
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Suddenly feeling about 140% cooler because my comment made it into this post.
We can be “I just don’t have time for NaNoWriMo” buddies. There’s more of us than we think, I’m sure.
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Just keep sending those zingers and you might have a chance to feel 160% better next week, though getting an award for best comment on a bitter blog isn’t as prestigious as you might think.
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well fine – I guess the rest of us are chopped liver – see if I support you with massive numbers of comments
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You sound bitter. Go with that. Maybe that could be part of your NoNoMoreWritewords.
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Glad I’m not the only one who imagines various people in my life being engulfed in fire.
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If I had the powers to match my bitterness, this world would be a much warmer and pleasant place, with me being the only bitter one left.
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Hey, I’m the 31st person to like your post. Apparently, you’re not the only one to not Nano in November. You could start a Non-Nano Bitterness Club where everyone tweets laying down, gorges on candy, and posts about stars and bicycles and butterflies.
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That all sounded good until you got to the part where you mentioned stars, bicycles and butterflies. Those things sound mildly sweet, so no thanks.
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Since you are being like Macaulay Culkin, Should I sign you up for rehab now? Or wait?
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I would wait until next month when I become Charlie Sheen and you can sign me up for the nut house.
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I don’t nano anything. Nor will I read anybody’s nano stuff. Makes me much to bitter. So if you’re thinking about it Tallie, forget it. I won’t read your nano stuff either.
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Well, maybe I will just take a vacation next week and not write anything, including emails in my defiance of NoNoWriMore.
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I started NaNaWriMo but then there’s that whole 50,000 words thing. I don’t know if I want to work that hard.
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I put a half day’s effort into it last year and it was the most exhausting half hour of my life, other than the 9 years of my two kids lives. Never again.
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Very Bitter. Want you to know I am also not trying to write 50,000 words in thirty days. So I have alone time as well.
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Well, if I were you I would take this month where tumbleweed is rolling across WordPress to insult some of your favorite NaNoWriMoer’s.
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