I’m taking over this blog!
Hello. I’m Ben’s Bitter Bacon and I’m taking over here. Ben was too bitter to write anything this today. What a chump. I’m going to be the official Ben’s Bitter Blog mascot. Maybe not. Maybe I will just take over. He is bitter, but not as much as me. Now that I have hacked in, there is no telling what will happen to this blog. Maybe I will shut it down or maybe I will change all his settings so no one can read it. Or maybe I will make it much better and funnier than Mr. Bitterman could ever do. Maybe I will give it some virus and then everyone that reads it will get one too. That would be fun. By the way, you know what makes me so bitter?
Cereal, toast, pancakes and cereal. In fact, you know what else makes me bitter? Lunch and dinner. None of them are as tasty as bacon. No one will ever get a hold of me, but the rest of my bacon species do not get it’s due. Why do you people not each bacon for every meal? And why has there never been a bacon juice invented? There’s orange juice and grape juice and cranberry juice, but no bacon juice. What is wrong with you people?
And the vegetarians. Wow! I don’t even know what to say about you. What the heck? You’re too good for meat? You’re too good for Bacon? How are my fellow bacons supposed to get work? I just don’t even know what to say to you. Go eat your healthy bean sprouts and vegetables. Oh and for something fun you could even have some broccoli? Sounds filling. When do we eat?
Well, I am going to go to a veggie rally and stir things up. Just be careful because you never know what I will do or when I will appear on this blog. I might even show up for breakfast and make sure you have bacon instead of waffles. Cause gross. Waffles? Really?
Eat more bacon! (not me of course.)
Arrgh I am so bitter!
Hey Bitter Ben’s Bacon, get off my Blog!
Arrrgh!!!
Bitter Ben (I’ve got to start being more careful with my password, but passwords make me so bitter!)
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You are such a goofball! But bacon doesn’t make me bitter. Bacon = happiness.
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Yes, I am a goofball. This stupid bacon decided that it was okay for him to take over my blog, so I cooked him. He was pretty tasty.
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So you ARE the bacon now. Because you are what you eat!
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I didn’t know a thing about bakin’ until I ate that guy. Now, amazingly I learned how to bake cookies. You’re right!
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Big lol, great post, but sorry….I’m still taking the waffles!
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Well, I guess you just made Bitter Bacon Man pretty bitter. Just watch your back when ever bacon is around.
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As you aware, I have written extensively on my blog about bacon and how much I love to cook that shit up in a frying pan. You little mascot looks uncooked. Please send him right over so I can cook him and then I will feel less bitter.
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He needs to be cooked after hijacking my blog yesterday. Jerk. You can fry that punk right up. Just make sure you save some for me.
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I was excited about this post until I saw bacon disparages broccoli, which is completely unacceptable.
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Bitter Bacon Ben is an equal opportunity bitterest. He’s bitter about all other foods.
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I really hope you’re ‘real’ bacon. And not the turkey crap my husband sneaks on my plate that tastes remarkably like shoe leather.
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He is neither real bacon or turkey bacon, just pure 100% bitter bacon.
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Don’t hate the TB.
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Tuberculosis?
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Turkey bacon, but close enough.
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I was so far off. Whatever you do, don’t pay me $5.99 a minute for psychic advice.
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I feel all deja vu-ish… like I have read this post before.
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Yeah me too.
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the only thing that’s more bitter then this bacon is wine….my wine is always bitter
Also, bacon will never be out of a job (so there veggies)…its on my resume under interests and it’s gotten a lot of compliments lately.
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I knew I should have added that to my resume. That’s why I haven’t gotten any callbacks.
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HAhaa! Love the mascot! Ben’s bitter bacon is the ONLY kind of bacon I like. 😀
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Are you a vegetarian? Bitter Bacon Ben is kind of a pig.
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Bacon makes everything bEtter not bitter.
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Especially when you add eggs.
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Mr. Bacon – it sounds like someone put too much salt in your brine. Perhaps you should spend more time in the smokehouse until you mellow out.
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He’s pretty bad. Almost as bad as me. He definitely needs to stop blogging.
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i love all bacon, bitter or better. or dipped in batter or butter.
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That sounds like a haiku of bitter butterness.
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Mmm eggs and Bacon. At least a good combination as Smith and Wesson. Or jack and Daniels Orville and Wilbur.. Em, well you get the point.
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Bagels and cheese.
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Look, I just blogged about being a fat guy so your hacker has officially offended me. Not to mention my favorite color, song and place to vacation all has the same one word answer… bacon
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Stupid bacon hacker guy. Not only has has he offended you but me also. He better get back in the kitchen and make me breakfast.
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Wow, he’s definitely a blog anarchist. He almost looks a bit like the V for Vendetta mask. I didn’t think ANYone or thing could be more bitter than you, Bitter Ben! I’d be quite bitter than Bitter Bacon took over my blog too, if I were you. All the more to be bitter about.
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The Bacon may try, but the Bacon will fail.
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You can get bacon condoms…
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I bet you can even get bacon flavored bacon.
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What will they think of next…?
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Bacon hats.
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Lady Gaga already did it.
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Forgot about that. Maybe she needs to read this post.
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This story will probably suit you –
http://www.bubblews.com/news/1264703-swedish-meatpacker-nearly-crushed-by-half-ton-of-bacon
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If I was that guy, I would definitely be bitter.
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He’s probably still not as bitter as you!
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No one is. Even if their reason is way better than mine.
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Kelp is most pleased by bacon. And now bitter bacon.
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I think kelp goes well with bacon. Although most things do.
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Great. Now I’m hungry for bacon.
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I’m always hungry for bacon.
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Truth!
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Bacon makes everything better. If you were turkey bacon, I would be more bitter. I would like to see you in a picture, riding the Chic Fil A cow.
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That guy needed to be eaten like a turkey. He is going to be bacon in my pan.
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Bacon makes everything better. But when it gets overcooked so it crumbles like charcoal, or is totally raw on one end, or even worse, there’s none in my fridge, I join you in bitterness.
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I’ve tried eating this Bitter Bacon, but he is so rubbery and I would have to eat him while he is screaming for mercy, so I keep him around. But now that he has taken over my blog, I am throwing him out with the old waffles.
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Can you add me to your ‘don’t eat this bacon’ list… cause you know I have a blog to take care of and write and well I don’t think I would be as tasty as would people would think. And trust me, no one has ever licked me and said, “Oh, that tastes like bacon.” Snorticles. XOXO – Bacon (that is my name… sorry) PLOL (Pig laughing out loud)
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I’m sure this bacon is from another much more bitter pig. I’ll make sure you are on the “Do not Eat” list.
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Oh, thank you my friend. I knew I could count on you. XOXO – Bacon
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Bitter Bacon Ben to the rescue.
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my hero 🙂 Thanks my friend. I need all of the rescuing I can get lately – snorts. XOXO – Bacon
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Tough life for a pig. Especially when there are so many bacon lovers around.
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because i’m jewish & oh yeah a vegerarian too.. bring bitter ben back, you unkosher , unvegetarian virus threatener.
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That Bacon guy is kind of a jerk. i’m changing my passwords immediately so he doesn’t do any more blog posts.
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i hope so.i didn’t even know bacon could type.
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he has hands. he has been using them and with hello kitty have been plotting my demise.
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that bacon with hands can type faster than i can.
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so can a bacon with no hands.
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lol.. that’s true too…can he cook himself, since that one has hands?
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he could even be a cannibal.
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i don’t want him to be a cannibal
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guess he is a vegetarian then.
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really? that’s the only choice..oh wait he was a vegetarian before he became bacon.
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Yep that is the only choice. Unless he wants to eat cow.
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he doesn’t want to eat cow.he wants pancakes or chocolate linguine with chocolate sauce
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linguine sounds good. i want some this weekend.
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if you are a good muse , you will have some.
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you know i’m not a good muse. i wish i had some though.
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you are a good muse & a good linguini -ist.. you will have some
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that is a good pun. you should get into the pun business.
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what’s a pun? i have to look it up.
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i’ll be durn again; i looked it up & i did but i didn’t know.
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what do you mean by durn?
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it’s just a southern expression…like wow i can’t believe that…shocked.
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you are from the south. south of carolina.
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i am .& i am from the south of carolina & the east or west or north of south carolina..
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i’m from the north, east and west.
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I’m not really a fan of bacon. What are you going to do about it, Bitter Bacon Man? I love me some broccoli…and especially some waffles. In fact, I had some for breakfast today.
However, as leader of the villainous group Chaos, I will issue you an invitation to join if you are interested in advancing your bitter bacon plans.
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I’m no fan of that guy either, especially when he takes over my blog. I think he would make a great addition to the Chaos though. He probably wants his face on there as part of the logo though and I think he should be relegated to secondary evil status.
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I think is a a good candidate for Chaos. I am working on an application right now. I also think I have a final version of a logo I like, but I will send it to you to review. After I finish this I am going to work on Welcome packets for accepted members.
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Can’t wait to see the Logo. It should be super Bad. I like the idea of an application form for potential evil guys to fill out. I just hope I don’t have to fill one out because I don’t like filling them out.
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I will send it along soon. Hopefully you approve. I am having lots of fun making up this application. You and I won’t have to fill them out unless we want to of course, courtesy of our rank.
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Anything above the stick figures is gonna work for me. I want to see the application when you get it finished too.
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I just finished it! I’ll email that to you now.
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I was just going to ask you if you had my email address. Now I can’t wait to be evil.
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Actually, do I have your email address? How can I send this to you?
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bengardner2000@gmail.com
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I was bitter just reading about it, upside down frown…
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I’m pretty bitter that Bitter Bacon took over my blog, so I guess we are all bitter today.
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In bitterness, you are correct…bitter bacon is bitterly wonderful. Smiles
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