I was reading the Internet yesterday (I will review this interesting novel when I finish it, I.E. never) and I got to the part where they were reviewing Colleges in the US News and World Report. According to the article there was a huge upset of Harvard by a small private college named Princeton. Seems Harvard has been losing students to things like Facebook (I guess this kid Zuckerberg was on it too much or something?) and this other guy Billy Gates was staring out the Windows constantly and just quit early to play computer games or something? I think if they didn’t make it so hard, then maybe people could have a little fun every once in a while and not want to leave. I perused the list for my college Utah Valley University, and I found it right up next to…I didn’t find it. It was unranked. I’m not sure what criteria they use to rank these schools, but whatever it is, I think they are way off. In fact, in the 8 years I went there, not once did I ever see a U.S. News and World Report guy or girl reporter roaming the halls.
I never saw them walk our hall of international flags, that included up to 6 other countries, or eat some of our famous, stale, day old breaded sandwiches, or drink one of our vintage New Formula Cokes from our award losing cafeteria. They never sat in our multi-functional library (books and cassette tapes!) with the dozen or so students scattered about the library reading the classics of literature called “Entertainment Weekly” and “Mad Magazine”. How could they possibly rank us as unranked if they have never even visited? I’m am shocked and embittered.
How could they rank Harvard and Princeton so high on the list when all they ever do is assign homework and make their kids study? If I wanted more homework to do, I would have stayed in high school. College should be the greatest 8 years of your life and they want you to spend it studying books? All that has ever done for them is get them jobs as CEO’s and accountants and financial wizards making millions of dollars. So after years of work in high school, they want to go to college to do more years of work, just so they can get a job that requires that they do years more of work. Sounds like a lot of work.
On the other hand, my college wasn’t perfect either. They tried to interupt all the fun I was supposed to be having, by asking me to show up at classes and assigning me to do work (I mean, what am I paying them for?). Don’t worry though, I ignored them and that made the 8 years go by much faster. The bothersome thing is that they kept sending me this cryptic and completely unncessary piece of mail after classes ended every four months (like it would make up for all the money I kept sending them?). They would list the classes that I avoided and then put these letters between C and F. I always wondered what the cryptic message was, but never really cared enough to find out. Though I did wonder why they never used “A”, “B” and “E” if they were trying to teach me the top half of the alphabet. Well, whatever. I’m just glad I didn’t have to go to one of those fancy top 15,000,000 colleges that made you figure out stuff.
Sure I’m bitter that my college was unranked in the US News and World Report (can they make up their minds on which one they want to cover?) but let’s just look at the results. I am just as unhappy at my job as all those Harvard Graduates are, but at least I don’t have to work 60-100 hours a week like they do. And as fancy as their couch might be, mine is probably more comfortable because I get to lay on it more often.
Arrrrghhhh
Bitterly Educated Ben
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I really think people that went to Ivy League schools only put effort into finding good jobs because of all the Ivy League debt they have.
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Which is ironic because they are such smart people, doing something that isn’t so smart.
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they do. they work 60-100 hours a week;my brother & jim cramer.
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I feel for those people.
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they don’t have to work. they want to work..i was going to type this haiku..it’s funny.. now i want to…my brother works 7 days a week for 40 yrs as a partner law firm….when i was 18 , my husband told my father , my brother wa in the paper , the people working under him were making 800.00 an hour.
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I saw this one today. I guess you did do it.
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yes, you made me do it.LOL. i didn’t want to.
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No way. I didn’t make you do anything.
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that’s true.someone made me.
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It must have been the one armed man.
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harrison ford made me?
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No the one armed man that framed Harrison Ford.
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i know, i realized that after i wrote you… well i think i did…some people might think it really was H ford.
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It was Han Solo.
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i didn’t know that. they know who it is. is he in prison?
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That was just a joke about Harrison Ford. He is in a brass prison.
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oh. i didn’t get it.
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It’s because it wasn’t very funny.
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lol. no it was b/c i didn’t understand
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My vote is not funny.
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lol i still don’t understand..
speaking of vote;
here is a review in haiku of boardwalk empire :
“voting democrat can
be dangerous to your health”
hit in the head!
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I don’t know anything about boardwalk empire so I assume that means you are beheaded for voting?
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that was very close..they hit people in the head. they probably beheaded too.. i changed the channel;too upsetting…every 5 min. it’s upsetting.
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There are probably a number of other HBO’s that have something better on, like Shameless or something.
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omg shameless is shameless..i watched that in florida on showtime…unbelieveable…it’s just like the family of the babysitter who was watching haleigh cummings when she supposedly disappeared.
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They did it to survive and I think they did a fine job. who is Haleigh Cummings?
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she was 5 i think, when she went missing.there are stories the no good ,17 yr old babysitter, who became stepmom a few months later & the whole durn family fed her to the alligators or sold her into slavery or some horrible thing.
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Wow that sounds like a reason to be bitter if I have ever seen one. sounds like it is one of those Lifetime stories waiting to happen.
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yes a reason to be bitter.. it does ;i don’t know why it isn’t a lifetime movie.i could write a book myself;there is so much; i’m not joking.
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Probably because she was so young? They like to show tragedy that is more age appropriate.
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ahhh…you have to be a genius to know the entire story of every awful person that little girl knew.she’s still missing, too.
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I’m pretty sure she is dead by now though right? I get so sick of reading about these kids that get kidnapped and them killed. Makes me so bitter.
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yes, she was dead before the babysitter reported her missing…she didn’t report it.. she waited til dad got home at 2 or 3 am…she married dad 6 months later…probably so no one would have to testify….i’m bitter too
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I was watching that Warren Jeffs thing on Nightline or whatever this weekend. That guy is a sick individual.
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oh i watched the few years leading up to the trial & then part of the trial..yes & this should be on the polygamy post with uday & qusay hussein….
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I could never watch a trial. So boooorring. Are you a lawyer or something? That is the only way I could see myself watching a trial.
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i have watched every major trial since rabbi neulander’s 2nd trial….scott peterson…oh i forgot to tell you they caught the 17 yr old babysitter stepmom for being a drug kingpin when she turned 18…25 yrs fro drugs…the father got 15 i think , but they will never know what happened to haleigh.
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I’m like the total opposite. I have watched a trial never. Not even OJ. I was just home from my mission and didn’t care about anything wordly.
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i understand that too…i didn’t watch the 1st o j trial… i watched the 2nd o j pre trial.
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i messed up.too many words
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How could you mess up a Haiku? You are like the Haiku master!
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i don’t know but i did.i hit the button too soon, before i counted
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That is a rookie mistake like me. You are a veteran. No more haikumistakes.
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woah nellie… halucinumistakes.. i learned a new word.
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combining words is fun and realeasy
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lolitsrealeasyicandoittoo
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See most anyone candoit.
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if i can .yesthey can
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Yes! Therein lies the so-called “rub”. We can all be JUST as bitter as people who studied at Princeton, Harvard, Yale, or even Cornell. Great, isn’t it?
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I prefer to be bitter like people at Cornell because that is where Andy Bernard went.
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So this article came up in my WordPress reader, and that was the moment I realized that this is my favorite blog that I follow. This is problematic for me–feeling happiness instead of sheer bitterness. Plus it’s kind of a double whammy since heretofore I was my favorite everything.
Like I tried to follow my own blog and comment about how fabulous I am like, “Oh JJ, you are the best thing in the world,” but the people who made the movie Time Cop with Jean Claude Van Damme showed up and said something about matter occupying the same space. So I had to decide between reigning as the self-appointed queen of the universe and obeying the laws of physics. That made me really bitter because I loves me some me, but I also loves me some physics.
I’m back to normal now, in case you were wondering, which you’re probably not. But I don’t care anyway. So I guess with the inner turmoil and everything all in all it’s a pretty good bitter day.
I don’t agree with you that college is the best eight years of one’s life. I think high school is. You can get meningitis from dorm rooms or lots of people or from something or other. I didn’t really listen to that speech from the doctor. I was bemoaning the fact that I got a grape lollipop after my visit instead of the orange one.
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Sounds like you are pretty conflicted, which I understand because I also don’t like to feel happiness either. My feelings tend to lean toward the bitter and reading blogs like yours which make me laugh cause me a lot of bitterness. So thanks a lot for that.
High school was bar none the most bitter time of my life, so I guess we can agree to disagree on that. Or we can rage a bitter battle about it. Either way I’m good.
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New Cokes, cassettes, and Mad magazines = misty water-colored memories at my university that probably wasn’t ranked either.
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They probably don’t even have Mad Magazine at Princeton or Harvard. How much of a fun place can that be?
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You should have gone to art college like me, BB. It’s more like a four-year extension of adolescence. And nobody can flunk you, because obviously you meant to do that and nobody else understands your genius.
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And it is all subjective. That is why I blog because I don’t get graded on it.
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Loved this Ben! Screw the work!!!!
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Stupid homework and it’s non contribution to me getting a good job.
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You’ve got to consider the source. When’s the last time you read that magazine? Last year at this time? If they knew what were talking about you’d read them and they’d use realistic standards.
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The last time I read that magazine? When I was in junior high and the teacher made me. The only reason I read it this time was because it was in that internet book I was talking about.
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Oh you poor thing. I’m sorry your University didn’t get the recognition it didn’t deserve lol But isn’t it better your Uni was world famous in Utah and not be one of those annoying ones populated with prissys and prigs with like good food and stuff. After all, they won’t have the Old Coke that taste better than Canned Coke and the Dry Sandwiches that won’t make you fat becaue you can’t eat them and that is not something you want getting out. You get to be unique and that is better than being popular I think. Besides which, Harvard and Princeton don’t have your College Memories and Experiences. That in it self makes your Uni far better, because it was yours. (and your parents aren’t still paying for Harvard lol)
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I’m unique in the fact that I somehow did no homework and somehow managed to graduate. Of course, I’m just like those Harvard and Princeton people because I am just as miserable at my job as they are.
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