I thought this guy was the star of the Simpsons. As always, I was wrong.
There are two things I have learned about The Simpsons over my years of watching the Simpsons. First, when I started watching the show, I always thought that Bart was the star. He had all the catchphrases, like “Eat my shorts!” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Cowabunga!” that made him seem like the main character. But after a while, whether it was intentional or not, I realized it was definitely Homer that drives the show. Although he has a number of catchphrases, the “heart” of the show is Homer and his “Oddessy”. Second, in the beginning of the show, it starts you off in a direction you think the show will be about, then subtly shifts to a completely different plot. It took me a while to figure out, because I’m slow. It made me bitter sometimes when I wanted the show to be about the beginning part.
Yeah, I finally graduated! No more math ever again! I will never, ever, ….What? They teach math to kids now too? Arrrrggghhhh…
When I graduated from college, I was pretty excited. It wasn’t because of the fantastic job I had waiting for me(still waiting for that), or because of the awesomeness of being a grown up (yeah bills!), but because I didn’t have to do homework anymore. Never again would my eyes have to gloss over when looking at math homework. I moved on to being bitter about everything else, like my job, my terrible apartment and my serious lack of a social life. Fast forward a few years (nothing to see here!) and I get married.
My wife is in her last semester of school, and she and I are both working full time (bills again) and she takes 18 credits. Since I have nothing better to do after work, and she is taking a math class (she couldn’t do it in the first 3 3/4 of her 4 year degree?) I get to drudge up all my terrible memories of math and help her. (Luckily she passes or I would have been really bitter!) At least I am now done forever again.
Aren’t they so cute when they do this at 3 in the mourning (yeah I said mourning. The loss of my sleep and sanity)?
But no, we have to have a few mini us’s so that we can learn what it feels like to not sleep for a decade, and how babies can burp and fart and it’s cute, but I am a disgusting vile pig when I do the same. We also get to learn how to earn just enough money for ourselves only to realize that every last dime goes to them. Luckily, they have a program called school that teaches them that someday, they will have to the opportunity to get a job so they can dedicate every dime they earn to their fart-burp/sleep deprivators. But before they can do that, they need to learn math. But they can’t learn all of that at school from a teacher that is paid really poorly to teach them that. They have to send it home so the parents who thought they were done forever with math can do it for their kids (uh I mean, help their kids).
So yeah, I’m so glad that I’m a grown up, so I don’t have to worry about going back to school and doing homework. Not bitter about that at all. Doh!
Arrrrggghhhh
Bitter Math Homework until I die Ben
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This is why I’ve already decided that I’m never having kids… among numerous other reasons. I can’t help it… I hate those little gremlins…. I literally can’t stand to be around them. They make me want to tear my hair out. Everyone thinks I’m weird because of it. I probably am.
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It’s why I can’t stand kids other than my own. Other people’s kids are cretins.
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Hahahahahahaha.
I shouldn’t laugh. This is going to be me someday too soon.
Math is gross.
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Math being gross is one way to say it. If you compare it to vomit, then yes, math is grosser. Hopefully your husband knows a thing or two about math?
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Actually, I’m the math person in our family. Just cause I’m good at it doesn’t mean I like it. *bitter*
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If I was good at it, I would feel cursed too.
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Your wife deserves a medal, work, AND taking a math class?!
My son is in fifth grade and asked me to help him with his math homework last night after a long day of class (I’m in college now, too) I took one look at it and couldn’t even figure out what the hell the QUESTION meant! Seems they’ve decided to completely change math since I was a kid. Now it’s all about words and descriptions and formulas that I swear someone made up on the fly.
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She deserves a medal for living with me for the past 13 years, raising kids, and doing it on an impossible budget too. Somehow she does all these things and pretends to laugh at my unfunniess.
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Reblogged this on That's a Jenn Story and commented:
The Tuesday Reblog
Also, it’s actually Tuesday, and I really should be reblogging one of you. Even though I don’t have kids of my own and don’t have to help either Alicia or the Youth Group with their math homework, I dislike math enough to feel that this bitter post warrants some air time over at the Jenn stories . . .
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Math is like the most hideous… oh wait, what about having to have 2 years of a foreign language to graduate college? So when I’m an English major who speaks Spanglish with a French accent……
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Nope, math.
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Luckily my husband knows how to do math, because I think once my kids get passed like 3rd grade, I won’t be able to help them anymore! I’m seriously pathetic at math
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Take however pathetic you are at math and subtract 15 math units and I am that bad.
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hmmm. I doubt it. I pretty much suck and learned to count on my fingers in the 4th grade, as taught to me by my teacher. Sad, but true.
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I’m still working on my third grade math. Never got to division.
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I still wake up in a sweat that I forgot my homework and missed the test. (I wonder if there are nightmares in heaven). Great Post!!!
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I still wake up and think that I am late for work and then I realize I am at work…
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😉
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I hate poxy homework. My youngest (11) came home today, her second day of homework since the holidays ended, sat down for three minutes and declared she had had it with homework! So have I. Roll on the xmas holidays!
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I haven’t even started and I’m ready to give up. Or make my wife do it.
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Math is the real reason Peter Pan ran away to Neverland. He was just cleverer than the rest of us and now spends his days laughing at the rest of us who are doomed to do math homework, whether it’s ours or our spawn’s (or maybe even our spawn’s spawn, someday?), for the rest of our lives.
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I draw the line at my spawn. When it comes time for my spawn’s spawn’s help, they will get a nice laugh in their face.
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Hahaha yeah – because then it will be their turn to suffer through yet more math. hehe.
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Yep I will make my kids suffer the wrath of math.
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The wrath of math…I love it.
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That would be a good bad guy mantra.
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Indeed! We’ll save that one in the archives of Chaos.
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The bad guys always get the best lines.
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In college, I placed in Math 095. That’s right, not even 100-level math for even the most numerically challenged. I sitll have nightmares.
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I sitll have nightmares of the easy math too. If it can’t be done on a calculator, it’s not worth it.
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That’s it, I’m declaring right now that I will be helping nobody with their math homework. Ever!
We should just teach the kids to google it.
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And they should google it on their phones so that for once, something useful will be done on their phones.
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I walked in to physical anthropology in college only to realize that damn teacher sounded like the Charlie Brown teacher.
As in, literally.
It was fairly deeper than the average woman’s voice, and her inflection went up in pitch every two or three words. And in physical anthropology, you have to learn formulas – mathy ones.
Longest class of my life! Totally with you on this!
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Classes are hard enough without having to strain to hear the teacher. If Charlie Brown was there, at least he could have translated.
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Oh my gosh! No kidding with math. I am going to be in big trouble when Mikey starts learning algebra in FOURTH GRADE! As for the Simpsons–Homer is definitely the main (hilarious) character. He’s been known for his good parenting advice like “if failing teaches one thing it’s never ever try.”
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My daughter is also going into fourth grade. They have to do algebra? We are so screwed.
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now i understand why they say you will need math later; to help your wife & children…..i LOVED math.
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Are you for real? You can haiku and do math? Is there anyone else in the world that can do that crossover?
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LOL.i don’t know if i can haiku? i can do math…but i can’t count backwards…dr actually made me do this one time….doc :just look at my throat.
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You haiku all the time!
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of course,that’s why i haiku, b/c i love math. i love 17’s…i think it’s like an idiot savant? OCD & math , a haiku make….
going outside
breathe salt air, before it starts
raining in 2 hours.
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I must be bitter about 17 because I’m no good at either.
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but you aren’t bitter about 12.is that your birthday or is it 10 or something?
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I did a post about 40 things for my birthday. I don’t remember doing one about 12.
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i knew that post, but i meant the date.maybe i am thinking david letterman is april 2th not you.
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My birthday is April 9th.
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you’r e 3 days older than letterman…that tooth 2th was supposed to be 12th….you are 8 days older than me.17th & 17 haiku…
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It’s a good month to be born.
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yes it is. i had a neighbor 4/6 & we would both go to k&w at different times of the day on tues & he had eaten the same exact thing,like salmon & sugar free blueberry pie & the same veg’s….his wife said b/c we both were aries…
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Aries rule because we are rams.
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rams rule; more alliteration.
i have a ram’s horn somewhere in virginia.
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I picked a major based on its lack of math requirements. I think that was excellent planning on my part.
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I pick a major I thought would have nothing to do with math and I still had to do a lot of it. Curses to you, math that I only use to help my kids do theirs (or I should say the one day a month my wife doesn’t do it.)
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Has your elementary kid brought home any math assignments that boggled you? Mine has and I readily admit I googled the formula before helping explain to him.
babies can burp and fart and it’s cute, but I am a disgusting vile pig when I do the same LOLZ yes.
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My kindergartner will probably bring home some stuff I have no idea about. My fourth grader…her math is a lost cause for me.
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I know, right?? I have to Google rhombus and parallelograms and stuff. Then I don’t know if the site I just used is legit so I check more sites to make sure and it goes on and on. I share your bitterness with this one.
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I have to Google things like “addition” and “subtraction”.
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Right? I am dreading the years when math comes home and it’s more than addition/subtraction…Sigh. Tha’ts very sweet of you to help your wife with her homework. You’re alright, Ben.
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I was tricked into thinking that she would only be taking a “few classes” that turned into 18 credits.
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women are sneaky like that !
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Yeah, she also had me believe that she liked basketball. Of course, she believed in only played video games once in a while.
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