Tuesday is like the Bitter of Flavors. No one likes it and everyone just wants it to go away.
For some reason all of our neighborhood kids like to hang out in our house all day, eating all our food, messing up our house, scattering toys everywhere, breaking all our valuables, and then when I get home, none of them seem to want to stay. I don’t know if it is my wife just being so popular or kids not liking bitter, angry dude that says no all the time. For once, my bitterness comes in handy.
It’s always been a dream of mine to take people’s quotes about stuff that seem logical and find the one thing in the quote that really doesn’t make sense and exploit it and make it not make sense at all. This one above is my first attempt. Someday I will find a career that pays me to find illogic in all quotes. As you can see above, I should go into graphic design.
Take a look around. Random Bitterness is all around you. What pictures make you bitter to be alive today?
Bitter Random Ben
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Wow I didn’t know that you are such a good graphic designer. You’ll become famos! Feel a little envy that this wasn’t my idea…
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Not near as good at graphic design as you.
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I love the Hope Valley Dead End photo – you should have that as your header / logo.
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I should probably consider that shouldn’t I? Abandon all hope all ye who enter this blog.
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Ah yes I can always count on you for a smile and hearty laughter even if you don’t like that 😀💞
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I can give you a frown and some hearty bitterness. Is that acceptable?
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which still of course, makes me smile and laugh 😉
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Have you had too much coffee this morning? You should read my zombie post.
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I just woke up! Still on LA time but I’m in a good mood 🙂 having my first coffee now and heading straight to zombie post 😜
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I am also on LA time and I was awake hours ago! No wonder you are smiling. You just woke up!
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I flew all day and got home at 3! Was very bitter then!
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So something makes you bitter then. At least we have that.
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Lovely, just lovely Ben! So inspirational!
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If by inspirational you mean another reason to feel like you are in the dumps then yes. I would call it more of a “bittersperational”.
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Haha, I love your bitterness 🙂 In a way it’s kinda refreshing, after all the happy inspirational movitational crap people put on facebook and everywhere they can.
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As I said, I like taking inspirational quotes and changing them for the bitter. Definitely more interesting that way.
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you have been nominated for the leibster award
http://diaryahemjournalofalonelygirl.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/yay-i-won-something-but-what/
follow the link 🙂
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Do I get a statue and $10 grand?
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yes and an appearance on nationall television :p
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I will be there with all my bitterness. :p
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haha 🙂
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You know what’s worse than inspirational posters? Those e-mails that people send you at work about how Jesus loves you and wants to solve all your problems, but only if you forward the e-mail to 27 friends in the next 12 minutes. Talk about illogical! Like Jesus is checking your e-mail! Can you see it now? Jesus is on a donkey hacking your e-mail, “What?!? He only forwarded my message to 11 friends! That’s it! I’m going to smite Ben.”
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What about the freaking Princes of Nigeria who keep trying to send me money. I’ve sent them my account like 15 times and they never seem to fill my bank account with millions.
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I’ve done that too! Still waiting…
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Someday I will be rich and laughing at the rest of humanity…
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Jesus won’t “like” me on his FB page, is that a bad sign?
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You better make him some good apple pie then.
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Excellent!
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rawforbeauty.com? that puts me on that line between bittter and ragey
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My stupid photoshop skills are severely and bitterly lacking in erasing the website I don’t want anyone to know about.
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I’m bitter about the fact that those pics are making me happy. I’m also bitter about the proliferation of inspirational quotes my friends plaster all over the place online.
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Not only online but also at work and on billboards. Bitter, Bitter Billboards.
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We’re just the Disneyland of our neighborhood… I think it’s because our house is ‘pre-messed’ and requires no effort on the part of kids to make it ‘comfortable’.
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I think that is our problem too. Also we feed our kids and care about them, unlike the neighbors.
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That is inspired, Ben. I’ve tried discouraging the neighbour’s kids with my cooking, but they just spread the rumour that it induces vomiting and mutation, which makes it ‘cool’ and worth seconds. I was thinking of making a cookbook for their moms so they can cook cool stuff like me and maybe their brats will stay at home.
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We were thinking of making porridge out of them, but no one would have wanted to eat that sludge.
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… try a little sugar on top.
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If I ever ate anything sweet I would dissolve.
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Office motivational posters
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Are awful…. I prefer despair.com’s.
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A coworker has a poster that i assume is supposed to be inspirational and stuff. It says she took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference. I argue with her every Monday and a little bit on Tuesdays that the person who took the road less traveled regrets the decision, but she insists I’m wrong, and even though I know I’m right, it makes me bitter.
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Is she one of those upbeat people? If despair.com hadn’t stolen my idea for demotivational posters, I would suggest you get one of my bitter posters and put it up right next to hers and make her bitter.
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There’s a Hope Valley Road in my hometown that is also a dead end. How did humanity let that happen twice?!
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How do you know it isn’t your hometown? I would be really bitter if I were you.
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My hometown has more trees and ocean. That town is totally stealing my town’s thunder. WTF other town. WTF. Hrumph.
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I hate when other town’s steal my town’s thunder. Actually they can have all the thunder and lightning and rain they want. Bitter rain….
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I need one of those masks.
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I need the kids I scare to not smile so much.
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Come scare mine.
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That would be awesome. Can you send them to my neighborhood?
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Absolutely. You can take candy from them
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It would just be so easy. Kind of like taking candy from a kid in a candy store.
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I’ve done that. In my defense the brat stuck his tongue out at me.
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Maybe you should stick his tongue to a frozen metal pole. Then he would have a hard time doing it the next time.
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I have him the Harry potter bogey bean lol
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You’re a wizard? Congrats on that!
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Sorceress.
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Right. I didn’t want to call you a witch.
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Witch with a 🐝 lol
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Too funny!! Graphic design should have been your career path for sure!
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That is just the beginning. You should see the type of photographer I am. Bitter Blurry Pictures.
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“Blah, Blah, Blah, park, trees, bitter…” I love it.
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Hey if you are going to quote me, make sure it is how I really talk.
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http://media.photobucket.com/user/lucha65/media/bitter.gif.html?filters%5Bterm%5D=bitter&filters%5Bprimary%5D=images&filters%5Bsecondary%5D=videos&sort=1&o=8
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Holy cow Alicia. You hit the motherlode of bitter pictures. I am stealing all these and using them for my blog.
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What a bitter laugh this one gave me 😀
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Scarily enough it was one of my most lazy posts as all I did was post pictures then make mean and bitter comments about it.
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You should’ve gone to my step-daughter’s graduation. It was like the school principal googled “inspirational cliches,” printed them out and then read them in his address to the graduates. You could have funded the whole rest of your life off that one speech, if you could get paid for doing what you describe above. AND if you had been there.
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I did a bitter graduation post a little while ago. I went to a pre-school graduation and a fictional old timey school graduation in the same day, while on vacation. Needless to say I hate graduations, but phony not college or high school ones even more.
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No doubt! Sorry I missed that one. I’ll go look…
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It made me pretty bitter.
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Sun’s out for the next two months on Vancouver Island. Just can’t be bitter with this kind of weather. Can’t. 🙂
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Just imagine that the sun is right there, but you can’t go outside in it. That will get you there.
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I think I’ll make that third one my desktop picture at work.
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It would be the first and last time anyone would use a Bitter Quote from me.
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In that case, I won’t use it. Or I’ll use it, and promptly remove it.
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On second thought, use it. I want the whole world to be bitter.
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I’m bitter about the fact that I thoroughly agree with your aspirations.
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I’m bitter that you agree with my aspirations.
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You SHOULD go into graphic design! I don’t let neighborhood kids in my home bc I like a clean carpet. Just seeing their dirty pawprints makes me bitter.
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Paw prints from the kids next door are the worst. I guess my wife hasn’t bitter enough toward them to make them want to not hang out at our house.
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I have complete faith that you can inject her with a dose of bitterness soon.
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She is slowly coming to the dark side. She now likes complaining behind people’s back and is starting to make kids eat candy, then burning them in furnaces.
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HA! I love your “inspirational” quote. Most excellent, Ben.
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I am a master of photoshop.
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