Logo for Nanny Magazine which I will definitely not post on my Blog.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post, hoping to find a bitter rival out there on the Internet. I got a lot of response from eager goody two shoes wishing to make this a nicer place to live. Bunch of weirdos. I fought and defeated many nice rivals. Then, all of a sudden one of the my long time followers from the early days of my blog(a few months ago), some weird lover of grammar and good manners, told me that she was going to start an online magazine for nannies. She calls it Nanny Magazine. Ugh. I know what kind of magazine for nannies calls their magazine “Nanny Magazine”? Anyway, she told me that she needs some publicity for her magazine and she is doing a Kickstarter to raise money for it. The first thing I said was, “Kickstarter? I’m in. I love starting kick fights. It is one of my favorite bitter things to do. When do we start kickstarting?” Then she gets all snippy with and says, “No, Ben, you dork. A Kickstarter is a way to raise money for a thing so you can get stuff started”…or some made-up quote like that.
Definitely not putting any cute buttons on this blog.
When I heard this news, I was like there is no way I am going to post anything on my blog about some Kickstarter for some magazine and I will NOT give this link: http://kck.st/13rTOB4. That would sound like I was doing something helpful. This isn’t what my blog is all about. Helping people? Please. If I help to spread the word, then some of my followers might want to make pledges to Nanny Magazine and in exchange get nice prizes. Then they might feel good inside and, gasp, not be bitter for once. That is way bad for bitter business. I definitely won’t refer you to her Nanny Magazine Facebook either. Cause that would make me bitter.
Arrghhhhh
Kickstarter me in the Facebook
Bitter KickFace Ben
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Good for you being bitter about your friends kickstarter campaign. :0). good luck to her! it’s hard work and a hell of a ride. thanks for supporting her. (in your own panda kindergartenish bitter way). Be the bear!
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Save the kickstarter, save the world.
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You Bet! Hope your friend reaches her goal!
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I just hope she does, or the world will end.
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yes, it definitely will!
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Pingback: Bitter Loyalty | Ben's Bitter Blog
Hey BB, who told you that you won the bitter rival contest? I guess you were the one to decide who won, which mysteriously turned out to be you. The contest was rigged from the beginning. I am very bitter about your unfair judging tactics…schemes…scams.
Bitterly yours,
Pinky.
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It was supposed to make you bitter. It also made me bitter because I kept destroying all my sweet “rivals” too easily. I declared it over, because no one came sweet enough.
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Your commitment to bitterness is a hard one to break. It will take years of sweetness just to scratch the surface of your bitter world. Maybe it is best if you remain bitter. This is a bittersweet loss, but I think your bitterness is what keeps you going and it keeps the bitter and the sweet people coming back to your blog for more.
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Sounds bitter to me. I am just really good at annoying people for long periods of time.
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Reblogged this just to add salt to your bitterness.
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Oh great. Now other people might find out and donate money.
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Reblogged this on 1WriteWay and commented:
Reblogging in part to help another person out their new venture, but mainly to make Ben very very bitter 😉
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“‘Kickstarter? I’m in. I love starting kick fights.” = hahahaha
Who doesn’t?! Anyone would be bitter(er) to be so misled.
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I’ m pretty bitter that I didn’t get to do any kick fights. I got a four year degree in Bitter Kick Fighting at the B.I.T.T.E.R. school of Bitterness.
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Bachelor’s of Bitter. Nice.
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You should see what I got my Doctorate in….also bitterness.
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your credentials were never in question. the thing speaks for itself.
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I agree that I am doctor of this thing. I am a surgeon of bitterness, so if need it, I am the best in the world at nice replacement surgery.
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You just unleashed a barrage of positive vibes your way. Don’t be surprised if some of the bitterness starts to fade away. You brought this on yourself!
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Any positive vibes headed my way will immediately be blasted the other way toward happy people.
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My bad. I wasn’t aware you were equipped with a bitter blaster. Carry on bitter sir. Carry on.
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It’s more of a bitter barrier. It repels any sort of vibes that aren’t 100% bitter.
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Good idea of you – no promotiong – I join you… didn’t read this 🙂
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I only promote things like me getting more publicity and more money.
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You old softie, you…… Just own it. You’ll feel much better for it.
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I feel suckered because people added special effects post blog post. I am so bitter that people would think that I would do something nice.
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Hahaha – I love it! Nicely done.
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I don’t think the Kickstarter people are very pleased. They are starting to get people demanding their donations back.
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Ionia sent me and I am now following cause she was right. This is good stuff
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Poor Ionia and you being lead to this sad corner of the internet when you could be doing more productive things like looking at cat videos.
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Bitter is as Bitter Does
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You bitter believe it.
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Yeah, that kickstarter thing is pretty annoyingly optimistic. I know my nephew used it to start up his microbrewery and now he’s a whopping success. I’ve considered it to fund book releases, but I don’t like asking anybody for help–and then I couldn’t whine about the way the system is rigged against the little guy. Damned if you do…..
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I need to get a kickstarter for my Bitter Business Empire. Only a billion dollars to go before I can start.
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Jeez Ben, so bitter about magazines. Sheesh.
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I know right? You should see how much I don’t like medical journals.
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very bittersweet of you to do ben )
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Definitely Bitter. Not really sweet in anyway. How could you accuse me of that?
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@Ben, I just shared this post on Stumble–giving you a heads-up so you can start feeling bitter right away so to be bitterly prepared when someone comes here after Stumbling upon you.
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I feel bad for anyone that stumbles onto this sad bitterness.
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But bitterness is better
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I feel bad for people that get here deliberately. All they get is no hope and bad grammar.
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Aw – bless! More *HUGZ*.
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No hugs. How about a bitter stare instead?
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Sellout!
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You bitter believe it. I will do anything for anyone for any sort of money or gift or bitter thing said about me. How can I sellout for you?
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hmm let me think…there must be something you could do..
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You are usually pretty inventive. I’m sure you could use a kickstarter for something.
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That was a bitter-good way to do something nice! 🙂
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Doing something nice hurts too much. I would never do anything like that.
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Is that a smile I see on your face, Bitter Ben? LOL
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I pretty much doubt that. Bitter Ben doesn’t smile. How could you dare accuse me of that.
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Good for you, Ben! Stick to your principles!
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That’s right. Don’t forget it Mr. Lincoln.
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Ben, I think I’ve found a new (least favorite) favorite blog, this is genius… you bastard…
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I’m so you like this blog very little and know that you will not bitterly follow it from now on.
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I’m bitterly thankful you did not do any of those things you were bitterly against (smiles)
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I hate when people try to trick me into doing things.
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I’d be bitter about that if I were you!
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I think someone is making a sucker out of me.
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Never! Smiles. You’re awesome, though I say that bitterly of course.
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What is a smile? I don’t know what those do to you?
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They make your face contort into all sorts of horrific movements; don’t try it! (smiles) I’ll sacrifice and do it for you.
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That sounds like it would make my face hurt and my insides cry a lot.
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Don’t do it! It’ll be a bitter experience (smiles)
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Trust me. I’m not going to smile.
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I’m glad you never wrote this.
In return, i will never read it.
And needless to say, i will not go over to your friend’s blog and add her to my blogroll.
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I’m sure she will be really appreciative to not know that. I hope your “Canada” doesn’t get any good weather forever because of you non helpfulness.
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Thank you, we were just down at the ocean watching the local kite festival rise above the puffy white clouds and sweet blue mountains. Life is bloody impossible here, as you can tell… although i don’t know if it’s due purely to my non-cooperation, as you mentioned…
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So when they say “Go fly a kite” that means go to Canada?
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apparently. We have an unnatural concentration of kite migrants coming here, claiming the freedom to fly anything they want past anyone at all.
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Stinkin kite people…
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i took pictures to prove it to you…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sisteranan/
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You are a three legged kite flyer?
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Well BB… i’m not actually in any of the shots, because i was the one taking the picture.
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Haven’t you ever heard of selfies? They make it so you can use the camera to take photos of yourself.
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Good idea! Next time, i’ll just ask my evil twin Skippy to take the shot!
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Or your evil hand can just turn itself around and point the camera toward your face. Don’t let your evil hand take all of them though.
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I thought this was going to be about kickboxing. Man, am I disappointed! You have a right to be bitter about nannies, and to refuse to give a website or any kind of advertising for it. We need more nannies like we need more children. 😉
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I thought kickstarters were like fire starters until I was read the biz. I kind of bitter and am going to go eat some bitter rhubarb.
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Stay strong. Don’t post those links.
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I’ll do my best. Cause I am bitter at not doing those things.
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Rampant commercialism I will not support. But then I don’t support zombies with chainsaws, evil laser beam toting gophers, flame thrower brandishing hamsters, and square dance callers wearing eye patches
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My daughter has a hamster with a flame thrower and I support her and her bitter hamster, but only because it burns people I don’t like(pretty much everyone.)
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I need a Kickstarter for the book I’m not working on – STAT!
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I can do a fire starter for you. Those take care of books pretty well.
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The only thing I’m bitter about is that there isn’t even a magazine for nannies already. Pahhh-thetic.
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I’m bitter that you are bitter and that I’m not a nanny so I can get mistreated and underpaid by terrible bosses.
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Good plan on not posting the link or doing anything helpful… Now I know who not to ask if I need assistance.
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I you ever don’t need help promoting something, I am definitely your man. Let me know!
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