Me this morning in 5…4…3…2…
This morning I woke with a start from my normal nightmaring, because I felt like something was wrong. I looked at my alarm clock and it said 4:42 am. I missed my alarm. That is why things felt so wrong. Adreneline kicked in and I rushed to take a quick shower and then promptly went back to my now shorter second nap before waking up officially. I then got dressed and left for work and here I am.
Who wants to fight? Ouch…hey…stop.. I meant for a cause alright? Geez!
The problem is, that feeling of wrongtivity never disappeared. When I started viewing my typical morning slate of skater accidents and bitter reactions to pranks on YouTube I figured out what my wrongness feeling was. As I and a few others know, there is not enough bitterness in the world. Sure, I do my part as the non official official spokebitter person for bitterness by posting things three or four times a week, but this morning I got the nagging feeling that I am not doing enough. What can I, as a lowly bitter blogger, with very little influence do to make a bitter difference? Then it dawned on me. You Tube. They are doing a week long You Tube comedy week. A whole week dedicated to all things funny. Then it started snowballing and I remembered other special weeks made official by Congress or something. Human Rights week. Constitution Week. If you haven’t figured out my logic yet, I will tell you. I have officially declared unofficially that this week is Worldwide Bitter Awareness Week(or WBAK for short) all across the world and on WordPress.
Bitterspirational thought for the day.
This is your chance to dull, people. Make a difference to your co-workers, family, friends and complete strangers. If you see it rain outside, tell someone how bitter that makes you(it is raining and it does make me bitter). If you had bad traffic on the way to work or school, make sure people around you know loudly as possible. Don’t keep this stuff inside. Let it out, make your bitterness known. I think it is fitting that Worldwide Bitter Awareness Week(WBAK) starts on a Tuesday, the bitterest day of all and will continue until Thursday. The committee chair(of a committe of one) has decided that we are just too lazy for a full week. Besides, it is just another reason for some people to be bitter. You can complain that the week is too short and you never really got your chance to properly celebrate.
Be creative. Make your normally cheery blog one of bitterness today. Here is my meager contribution. Fact: We have five* four different types of taste buds. Sweet, sour, salty, umami* and bitter. Of those taste buds, which do you use most? I bet you said either, sweet or salty as number 1, the vice versa as next, sour a solid third and somewhere in a distance last place, bitter. Try to name 5 foods off the top of your head that are bitter. You can’t do it right? How about sweet or salty, or even sour? Probably had no trouble there did you? Let’s bring awareness to lesser known bitter flavors this week.
In honor of Bitter Awareness Week, taste something bitter today. (Totally not photoshopped.)
How about bitter as a word? Everyone avoids it in comparison to its more well known brothers, better, butter, batter and botter. Even its weirdo cousin bytter gets more props than bitter. Time for that to change for this week at least. Maybe the continual use of bitter this week will spark something inside and people will use it next week too until gradually forgetting about it altogether. At least we have sparked a two week swing in bitter’s bitter existance.
I can’t cover all the bitter atrocities of being overlooked that bitter has had to deal with in this one post. Perhaps my readers can finally do something about it. List something you can be bitter about. Be creative, or even funny, as long as it has a bitter edge to it. Let’s do our part to make the world a bitter place. Then next week we can go back to our normal nightmares.
Arrrghhh
Bitterly Aware Ben
P.S. I looked up the type of tastebuds we have on Wikipedia and they listed a fifth type of taste bud called umami. What the freak is that? Apparantly it is savory like. Another taste bud leaps bitterness. You learn something bitter every day.
All pictures stolen borrowed from Google.
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Bacon=umami. Bacon is glorious. I love bacon. Bacon will de-bitter your bitterness if only for a minute.
I love bacon.
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I have a bitter bacon mascot.
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This is a perfect week to be bitter. I will comply with Bitter Awareness Week, you have my support, however, I will go back to my sweet self on Friday. Does that make you bitter?
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Yeah cause it is over on Thursday. I just wonder why you would want to back to plain old happy.
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Because I can catch more files with honey than with vinegar. Well, maybe that’s not the best quote. Uhhh, I am beginning to see your point.
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I am good at wearing people down to my point. They just get bitter about it and give up. They just resign themselves to being nice in other aspects of their lives.
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I am bitter that you are trying to influence what I put on my blog. I have a bitter post all prepared, but I won’t be posting it for a few weeks yet. Mostly, because I am bitter that I forgot what companion post I was going to write to go along with it.
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Fine, wait another week for all I care. People don’t generally listen to what I say anyways. Go on your happy and merry way.
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I’m going to take to angrily yelling “DO NOT sparkle my dull” at people who try to show me the silver lining of an obvious irritating situation. Thanks!
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I’m just doing my part to make people aware of bitterness. Thanks for spreading the word like a cold.
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The lure of the Bitterfest is hard to ignore this week, I must admit. I’ve put on 5lbs, I have my heating on in May (burning through Sardonic Husband’s bitterly hard-earned wonga) because it’s still blinking freezing over here, and I don’t know what ‘botter’ means. How much worse can it get?
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Sounds like you are really catching the spirit of Bitter Week. Keep spreading the awareness.
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I shall do a cynical and bitter post. Well, actually I already did. The one on my talents. I’m bitter I have them, so I guess that counts. Right?
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It’s all about the cause. Whatever you can contribute will make for further awareness.
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AHHH!!HAHAAA! I love bitter awareness week and all its wrongivity!!! 😀
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I have felt bitterosity from all over the web today. Apparently the awareness of the bitterness is causing chaosity.
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How come bitterness feels soooo good?
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I just bring awareness of bitterness. What you think of it, is up to you. But I prefer you think of it as a bitter thing.
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I will do my level best to be bitter and cranky for you.
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Don’t do it for me. Do it for bitter awareness. Do it for the elimination of bytter.
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Shouldn’t it be W.B.A.W? If it is, we are enraged that it is wrong. If we are wrong, then we are furious that we don’t get the joke. In either case, the resulting sense of bitterness will easily sustain us throughout the duration of the celebration, so your mission has been accomplished. Well done, sir.
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Bitterness wins in the end always.
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I think I joined the movement today without even knowing it! You’re welcome.
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What a great day it sounds like you had. Help joining the Bitter Week from your kids?
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I will never let anyone sparkle my dull! This was hilarious. I’ll try my best to bitterfy my days.
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The bitter committee of one thanks you.
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WBAK – Uber, but you are mean. The time is to short, can’t take part with grumpy pic’s or bitter-batty posts. YOU ARE MEAN – I’ll ignore this post. No comment from G-Land today!
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Tutti, I don’t mean to mean. I’m sorry to make you grumpy. That’s the last thing I want to do. 😦
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Generally have no talent for being angry and when you are so delighting I must surrender 🙂 After the season is before the season! I’ll make a note in my calender – next year I’m prepared.
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Wait were you pranking me? Were you actually being bitter and I didn’t catch it? You got one over on the Bitter One! That doesn’t happen much so give yourself a bitter pat on the back!
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Sometimes I really like the ambiguity of gibberish! Do I look like someone who is joking?
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My heart was turning bitter cold that Tutti was upset with me. I almost quit blogging.
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That never may happend!
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It might if computers seize to exist. But then I will find a pencil and be bitter about things on paper.
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I assume in the future will get a chip implanted – less typing, more Star Treck. I would like to meet Data or his predecessor Mr. Spok. But the future must wait until tomorrow – Good Night over there!
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I hope that I can communicate with people that way, because I am getting tired of having to type or use words.
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Reading this too late to contribute to WBAK but I will text a $10 donation now.
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My bank account will appreciate it.
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you do learn something bitter every day. today it’s two though: procedurals and unami.
we jews have a holiday with bitter herbs- radishes.
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Rosh Hashana? Is that Jewish for bitter herb?
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rosh hoshannah is sweet – apples and honey…
passover has the bitter herbs.
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Excellent.
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eggsalad.
yes passover is a bitter holiday.you eat bitter raddishes
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I think I will passover that holiday.
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lol that was a good one.you should.pass over bitterly
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Nah actually passover is a fine holiday. I hope you enjoy your bitter food that day.
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thank-you. i like the hard boiled eggs ,and the charoses.
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Hard boiled eggs are bitter?
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I’m bitterly reading this and not writing or even working. Arghhhhhhh
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That is the point of my bitter posts. To avoid doing things.
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If you would unkindly send me a bitter email to readfulthings@gmail.com I would really not like it at all if you would write some bitter pieces for our new blog. I will send you a bitter return email with bitter site permissions so you can write.
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The power went out last night due to a bad storm and wasn’t on this morning when I left for work. Spreading bitterness this week will be easy.
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It’s all Oklahoma’s fault. Whoops that isn’t bitterically correct thing to say. It was the winds fault.
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Hey! Who stole my tongue? Oh…It’s still there. Well tell that guy to give me back my jean..uh, genes! Forget it. I’ll tell him myself. I’m light sensitive so rain makes me happy. It’s the #(%$& sun that’s the problem, and not being able to use @ as part of a curse word anymore because if you don’t put in a space you’re emailing someone.
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Yeah the pound signing sun makes me bitter too. It just depends on the current weather about what weather I will be bitter about.
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My husband’s back from England. He’s made me breakfast, tea. I can’t. I just can’t.
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You could celebrate next week then.
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UNAMI? Now you’re making shit up Ben…and that makes me BITTER. THERE! I DID IT!!!
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Unami. Yeah I couldn’t believe it either. Stupid Wikipedia making up stuff so I would have to post about it!
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Well, you know how I feel about designated celebratory weeks or months, but I believe WBAK is for a genuine and bitter cause. We could hold contests where everyone loses and serve lemonade with no sugar.
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I’ve even cancelled classes at the B.I.T.T.E.R. school of bitterness. I suggest all businesses and schools follow suit.
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Words … Comment … Such & Such … Something Bitter …
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Wow that must have taken you at least a second to come up with. I appreciate the well thought out comment. Except you missed the Blah blahh. Really important to remember that next time.
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DAMMIT!! Thanks Ben. I can always count on you!
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When it comes to bitterness I am very dependable. Just about anything else…like say reading others blogs or celebrating year anniversary’s at Rice Factories…not so good.
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Just loved the pictures..
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One of them wasn’t doctored at all.
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