It’s my second langauge after bitterness and before English.
Sarcasm is my second language. The only reason it is second is because Bitterness is my native tongue. I hope to someday learn English fluently. When I get really ambitious I might learn Spanish bitterness, then possibly Spanish sarcasm. Don’t ever expect me to learn Spanish though.
I love when people correct my grammar. This is for all you wonderful people.
There is finally a way to express my heartfelt love towards all my fellow earth dwellers. I am just really bitter that my keyboard didn’t come with this required key. I need to write the manufacturer and find out what happened to the Sarcastises employee the day they were working on that part of my keyboard. Were they sick that day? Were they feeling a little bitter? Did they know that I would be the lucky recipient of this keyboard and do it on purpose knowing that I would wear it out and need the manufacturer’s warranty and cost the company too much money and cause them to go out of business? Just wondering.
In honor of the Office ending this week, and causing me bitterness, I present you three simple words that end up being four. That is some good math.
I am crying bitter tears of bitterness this week because after The Office ends, we will be left with only one completely underwatched comedy, Community, on NBC. On the other hand, bitterness will increase as we are forced to watch the unwatchable comedies of CBS like Two and a Half Men, and other such duds as every other comedy on CBS. Worldwide Bitterness will increase as the people of China and Russia mourn the loss of The Office and the fact that Community only got 13 episodes. The worldwide economy will then crash and we will be left with a zombie apacolypse. Perhaps they can replace it the Zombie Apocalypse The Office. The zombie HR guy could still be played by Toby.
Sonics won’t be back. Where else am I going to overpay for parking?
In the last piece of bitter news, the Sonics won’t be back in Seattle. That means I won’t be able to see the Spurs play twice a year. It has been reduced down to zero times a year where I will be able to drive downtown in crappy traffic, pay $20 for parking, $60 for a ticket to watch the concrete pillar front of the baskeball game, nearby a bunch of rabid Sonics fans who hate the Spurs fans, while eating a $50 microwaveable pretzel. I am so bitter that I won’t have that to look forward to.
Have a bitter Thursday.
Arrrrghhh
Bitter Ben
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I would rather watch old Taxi reruns than Two and A Half Men, and I hate Taxi. I did like how Dwight got married on the finale, standing in his own coffin.
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That’s what she said was the best part. And Dwight in his coffin, pretty awesome.
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Pingback: Bitter News with Pictures | Rishsister
I agree with you reblog/repost.
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What about Parks and Rec?!
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Okay you are the third one to correct this horrendous mistake. I guess everyone is pretty bitter about this.
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I liked The Office but Parks and Recreation is my favorite, hands down. And Community. And Happy Endings is totally great. I am not bitter about basketball not coming. I say yay. I am bitter about no hockey rink though. Hockey rules and basketball drools.
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Now that the Office is off the air, I will cry bitter tears and hope that Community lasts until all their kids are going to Greendale.
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Sarcasm is becoming more and more fluent among the average citizen. I am not sure you would consider this good news or bad. I am bitter because once the new episodes of Breaking Bad air beginning in August then I will no longer have any excuses to be stalking Bryan Cranston. I recommend you do learn to speak Klingon, its filled with bitterness.
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If is is bitter then I am there.
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…considering your non-Sarcasm language choices, I must put in a plug for my favorite.obscure language- Hittite, it sounds a little like Klingon- OK, a lot, and has the ability to stun and amuse non-speakers in less than 20 seconds. Spanish is simply boring, unless one is courting a Spanish speaking individual or speaking much too loudly in a train station with words like “Rojo!” and “Punta Arenas.”
Interesting blog, by the way…though I would much rather read “Ben’s Butter Blog” while eating baguette.
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I actually would prefer a Butter Blog.
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sigh. sad world is it not?
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A pretty bitter world yes…
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Another free service you provide.
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I need to start charging for such unknown bitter news.
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I love BBT. Try it. Best to start w/first season and work up. Not for old people, but since I AM old, and I watch it, I’m feeling a bit bitter over that.
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What is BBT? I will be bitter about any show.
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Big Bang Theory…..
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So not TO? The Office?
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Nah. I’m too bitter to watch that 😉
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The office is about all kinds of bitter people that want better jobs or didn’t get to be regional manager.
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Sounds way too much like where I used to work……making me extra bitter just thinking about it! 😉
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Yeah I didn’t like working at your former employees either. They made me bitter.
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LOL! I bet they did! Lots of fodder there!
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I have a lot of fodder and I was only there for a day.
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That’s all it would take … hmmm, probably even less than a day. Now you see what I mean then.
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You former employers were almost as bad as mine.
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Well I just did my little blog post, crediting you, Mr. Bitter. That picture just makes my day. So hysterical….
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I thank you very bitterly!
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I would say all bitterness aside, but there’s so much bitterness here that if I literally pushed all the bitterness aside I think the world would tip drastically, effecting the rotation of the planet and causing half of us to freeze in bitter darkness and the other half to burn in bitter fire.
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The world is slowly tipping the bitter way. I and my small group of followers are responsible. Your welcome.
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Don’t be so bitter about The Office ending… Remember that our epic hug will air in its place.
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I was thinking that would be a special one time event. Though showing repeats of it would probably get better ratings that most new shows on television.
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Maybe we can do minute-long episodes, much like the hour-long episodes of 24. We’ll just have like a 12-minute-long hug. Maybe a grope here and there. You know, just for ratings, of course. That’ll guarantee us at least 12 episodes.
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Well if it is for ratings sake then maybe…NOT BEN.
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Ah come on BB!!! You still have Parks & Rec!
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I was informed of this terrible oversight. Why doesn’t everyone point out my mistakes. That doesn’t make me bitter at all.
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Oh wow. Thank you. Your bitter banner is just the piece of art that was missing to complete my day.
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I stole it from a blog who stole it from a blog who stole it from google. So yeah, you should thank me.
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Yup, thoughts so. Glad we got the whole business straight, thanking and all.
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I would like to thank myself for helping that picture get more famous by being bitter about it.
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I need some Sarcastises. I’m afraid that if I did get them on my keyboard, I’d overuse them to the point that they’d fall off.
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I would just need them twice. At the beginning of my life when I said my first word and at the end of my life when I say my last.
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Isn’t Parks and Recreation coming back?
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Yeah, forgot about that. Make that two!
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I am eating the bitter pill of your pain, while bitterly suffering the bitter pain in my ribs, smiles
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Bitter Pills are a faster way to be bitter.
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Than it’s bitterly perfect. I do so love your posts!
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I’m just bitter that they take so long to do and they don’t make me rich.
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That’s just not fair, which makes me very bitter; you should be rich!
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Your right. If I was rich I would have so many more first world problems to be bitter about.
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And I would be bitter because bitterly I’d want it to be me. Bitterly yours, Belinda
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Welcome to the Bitter Side, Bitter Belinda.
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I bitterly accept that bitter welcome and bitterly await more of your bitter posts.
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Someday I might do another post. Bitterly.
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yes i just took a bitter pill and i am very bitter about the pill being bitter. why are some pills not bitter? “cbs is for old people”
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Yes, CBS is for old people. You must be old then.
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no, you told me cbs was for old people.lol
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I remember that well. It is still for old people. ANd you are still old because you watch it.
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big bang theory- not for old or hawaii bing baugh
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I don’t watch Big Bang Theory.
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why not?
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Cause it’s on CBS and it isn’t funny.
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ah. the bitter answer.
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I have many other answers. It is on at the same time as another show that it funny.
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that’s very true.that’s why they make a little thing called hulu,so u can watch it tomorrow.actually cbs.com – no cbs on hulu.
i’m raedy for lots of other answers
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Because there are other things to waste my time on like napping, laying around, blogging, etc
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yes LOL- laying on leather -don’t forget that
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laying on leather right now watching The office finale.
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lol. i wayched the 1st hour almost put me to sleep.it was boring when i saw the original show from england..(i wasn’t in england; i mean the show was)…. and it’s boring in america.
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I’m not good at convincing people to try and like my shows and I guess that is alright with me. It was a great time last night and I will miss the “Silly Office” as my kids call it.
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i’m not good at that either.i see it’s on hulu as soon as you go to the page. they want you to watch, so you are not alone.
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NBC isn’t very good at getting people to watch either.
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no. there are too many stations
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oh the office of course
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Also video games as well. They are very important.
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video games are important?i will have to get some then.
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Oh yes more than just about everything. Why do you think I am writing a book about them.
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LOL i don’t know, but i’ll have to get your book, to understand video games.
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I could sell my book to you and tell you how great video games are, but unless you are passionate about them like me, you probably will never like them. I have practially 33 years experience with them.
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that’s a long time; that’s what oj was sentenced to 33 years.
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So basically until he’s dead?
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yes it is
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you know what i think numbers was on cbs and you watched that
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Not on purpose.
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lol. i watched on purpose.
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Sorry about your poor taste in TV.
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no it’s good taste. i have a friend who has the same job as charlie and rob morrow is only in shows that are great
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Wow, your friend is really smart then, because that guy was super smart.
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yes i guess he is and he went to school w/ someone who had the same name as the actor who played charlie.
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Did he invent the smartphone?
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i don’t think so.that should be your next book.
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I’ve got too many books in the fire.
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you’re having a book burning?
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Yep. I gotta start the fire somehow.
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lol…i guess that’s 1 way.
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