Good thing my dad knows stuff works or I would be teaching my mom how to open apps. Push the button mom!
I’ve noticed around the Blogimunity, facebook (facebook doesn’t get a capital letter), and Twitter that many people have been saying really nice things about their moms. It seems like that there has been a simultaneous, worldwide niceness towards moms. I guess everyone has just been really sentimental towards their moms and for that I say what is going on here? I guess since I like to copy everyone else, because I am not original at all, I would like to tell you some bitter things about my mom.
She raised 4 wonderful children and one really bitter one. She was a pretty important part of my survival, but I am kind of bitter that I had to spend 9 months comfortably inside her belly eating whatever she ate (why couldn’t she have eaten more pizza?). I am also bitter that I had to spend 18 years living comfortably in her and my dads house, eating their food, living in their house for free, and accepting their charity of clothes, gadgets, presents, and hugs (How am I supposed to be bitter when you are hugging me all the time?).
Mom always had a way of getting me to do chores without speaking. Weirdo. (Not the actual mom.)
She barely ever made me do the dishes and she only embarrassed me every once in a while by doing Russian dances in Nordstrom’s while buying me clothes. Why couldn’t she neglect me and make me suffer like other mothers? While many people can claim that they got all of their good traits from their moms, I cannot do so. She was never bitter, or angry and never complained about having to deal with 4 good children and one bitter one. I can wholeheartedly say that I got none of my bitterness from her and for that I have much bitterness. I had to cultivate and grow this trait on my own, with no help from her.
So I wish you a bitter day mom. Could you be bitter just once? I didn’t think you could. Have your “good” day then.
Arrrghhh
Your Bitter Son Ben
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Ahh Momma (not)Bitter… you have 4 siblings?! WOW, or did I read that wrong?
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You read that right. 2 brothers and 2 sisters (oldest sister is even adopted!) Big family huh?
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HUGE. Why was your oldest adopted?
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They couldn’t have kids for a while. Then as soon as they got my sister, the miracle child (otherwise known as me) came out and opened the floodgates for the rest of them.
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HAHAHHAHA that is awesome. Well I am happy for you and your family. My Mom used to say the stork put me in the wrong tummy… I still to this day feel I just ended up in the wrong tummy. I guess your sister did too.
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She sure did. We make sure our little bubster knows that he is ours, but that his birth mother is still an important person too because she was brave enough to make the right decision to place him with us.
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Good point. It must be difficult knowing exactly what to say to a kid. I am sure there are people that try to make the birth parents seem bad, but that is def not the way to go! Reiterating that everyone loves him is the best thing for him 🙂
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He definitely knows from us. Whether he ever gets to meet his bio mother, we will never know, but we will just let him know that she did an unselfish act for allowing him to come with us.
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I don’t know what he will choose to do, but the more open you are about her the less I would think he would want to meet her. If that makes sense. Being able to have an adoption day, and knowing that my parents didn’t want to keep me (they had others they kept), led me to conclude that what would be best for all of us is to never see them. He may not feel the same but I have seen it not work out for pretty much every adoptee I know.
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Totally makes sense. I think when the time comes we will be supportive of whatever he chooses.
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Good plan 🙂
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I was bitter on Mother’s Day. My stove broke. Such a Bummer! (I need a vacation!!)
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I wish there was a day for father’s I could be bitter about.
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Maybe she’s a closet bitter. Smiling at you, secretly, bitterly writing in a journal about her 4 wonderful children and her favorite, identical mini-her.
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You may have a point. I think there are a lot of closet bitter people. I am going to expose them on my Bitter Tube channel.
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I like this post. It couldn’t have done a bitter job.
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My mother keeps hoping that I will get a bitter job that pays more. So do I. Guess we are all bitter about that.
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She is right to be bitter when your job is a lemon. I had a car once that was a lemon. I was told that if you’re given a lemon, you should make lemonade. Don’t try it. Cars don’t like it when you put sugar in the gas tank.
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However, my job is a great source of bitterness. Even if I don’t use things about my job, I can always say that it gets in the way of me blogging, which makes me bitter. (Well at least I can’t blog while I am on the phone anyways.)
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Oh yes my mum needs us to teach her how to use the computer too!! this is too funny. Thank you, i enjoyed this.
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If only mum’s (or mom’s as I call them) would just start clicking on things like I do. That is how I learn. I think mom’s just have an allergic reaction to technology.
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Haha so true. My mum will just say we didnt teach her well enough…
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My mum will tell me she just doesn’t have time to do it, because she is doing something important like reading a book or taking a nap.
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Yes my mum too!!!
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Yes my mum too!!!
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Did you ever wonder if you got interchanged as a baby by a nurse or perhaps your original older sibelings sold you for chewinggum?
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Somebody would have sold me for chewing gum if they could have even fetched that much for me.
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Oh, I agree with you! You are certainly VERY many chewing gums worth!
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My son would be happy with that because he loves gum.
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She’s earned a share of bitter if she raised four. In fact, she’s due.
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She raised 4 plus bitter me. She is due a lot of bitterness, but for some reason she’s decided to be happy.
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your mom sounds like a right goody two shoes
no wonder you became bitter
too much goodness can be stifling 😆
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Yeah she was so loving and wonderfully perfect. How is a guy not supposed to turn out to be bitter?
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It took me a while to realize that beneath all the repititive bitterness there’s a very appreciative and loving attitude towards your Mom. By the way you’re right facebook doesn’t get capitals and yes, the public declaration of love to the mother on fb and twitter- wow, someone’s pseudo. 😛
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My mom tried so hard with me. Luckily she had four good kids to deal with.
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Nah she seems to have done a good job with you- you’re bitter but clearly not as much as you think you are 😛
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How dare you challenge my bitterness. Clearly I am the king of bitterness.
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All right all right! I’ll play along. Ben, you’re so bitter. Do something about it. 😛
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I am doing something about it. I am going to get my Doctorate degree in Bitterness at my B.I.T.T.E.R. school of bitterness. Always have to keep myself sharp.
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Your mum has excellent taste in children:)
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Yeah she had four good ones. Too bad about me.
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You must be the apple of her eye. Anyone can have normal children. You are bitterly exceptional.
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I know. I’m trying to convert more through my school, but it is a special child indeed that comes out bitter.
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laughing bitterly at the understanding I have of this! great post!
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Did your mom try to do that same thing to you? Make you be nice?
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indeed she did but id rather pull my friends hair as a child and refuse to share with my sister and i drew the line when she tried to make me believe that everyone had to be treated nicely!!!! I couldnt believe it when she made me say sorry to mr parr my 3rd grade teacher for telling him he smelled like burned popcorn and now the lady is even trying to make me teach my kids to be nice!!!! the gull of her huh? lol
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Yeah mom’s can be so overbearing sometimes. Next thing you know she will want me to get a job and achieve goals in life.
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lmao truly thanks i needed that
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Crap, so you get what you want and I don’t. Dang I’m bitter again!
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Man, you rocked this post! That was definitely an interesting and bitterly beautiful way of saying Happy Mother’s Day to your mom. You had me chuckling throughout this whole thing 🙂
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At least you weren’t LOLing because that just wouldn’t be true. Stupid LOLing.
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Hahaaaaaaaaa! Bloody brilliantly bitter… So bitter that it makes drinking jagermeister taste like a sweet lemonade…
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I know how could my mom not teach me to be bitter? She tried so hard to teach me to be “nice”! Moms!
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