Bitter GIF of the Week and the B.I.T.T.E.R School of Bitterness

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The children are our future. We need to allow their bitterness come at a much younger age.

The children are our future. We need to allow their bitterness come at a much younger age.

I was looking back to my first post a mere year ago, and it made me think.  (How dare you first post!)  It basically spells out my mission statement, my purpose for not only this blog, but the meaning of my life.  The world is getting sloppy with all its happiness and its upbeatness and its smiling and positivity.   I feel that I have done a decent job in getting people to at least think about the (ben)efits of bitterness and how it can have a negative impact on their lives.  A few people are biting and for them I give no kudos at all.  They are just doing the status quo and that should not be rewarded just as I should not be rewarded for doing this blog as it is just what I am good at.  However, it occurs to me that I am not doing enough to expand the world’s bitterness.

How can I (or we) as a bitter person(people) expand and grow our branding to make it possible for others to be bitter(besides all these paretheses that are driving me to bitter madness!)?  There is bittertising (which I spoke of not so eloquantly here) and I guess I could send bitter sales people out there knocking door to door spreading the bitterness one door at a time, but I don’t think that is enough.  There are other methods of marketing that we can explore.  There is the B2B(bitter to bitter), where I or my team or bitter business associates speak from my bitter business to their bitter busines.  Again, that takes care of a small portion of the population, but not enough.  I need to be more ambitious while sitting on my couch.  When I saw the GIF above and remembered the GIF from last weeks bitter picture of the week and it gave me  bitter goosepimples.  And also a spark of inspirational bitterness.

The children.  The passion for teaching our youth to be bitter isn’t there enough. We aren’t training them young enough.  Education should be our number 1 priority! We need to teaches kids at a young age to be bitter.  They are our future right?  How can we expect to leave our legacy of bitterness behind if we can’t teach the children who will someday take our places as the Bitter Pillars of the Community?  We can’t.  So here is what I propose.

We bitterly march on Washington, until we can get funding for a Bitterness Intelligent Training of Tots with Educational Resources (or B.I.T.T.E.R. for short).  My school will provide the youth of the world to learn about bitterness is a careless environment.  Who is with me?  Anyone? No?  Fine, well if no one is with me, I will start small with my own kids.  Hey guys, who wants to play on this teeter totter with no one on the other side?  (I think that is a good start).  The infection will catch on and before you know it, you will be begging me to you kids into B.I.T.T.E.R.  Academy of Bitterness.  By then I might not let you get in.  And you will be bitter at an older age.

By the way, thanks not at all for your support.  We will go a short way without you.

Arrrggghhhhh

Ben “Arrgghhhstituionalized” Ben

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57 thoughts on “Bitter GIF of the Week and the B.I.T.T.E.R School of Bitterness”

  1. Pingback: Wiper Blade Bitterness | Ben's Bitter Blog

  3. And this is why kids are (for the most part) resilient! LOL Ben, they shall be bitter soon enough! Have you forgotten the world in which we live in? Let them live the fantasy just a bit longer. It will make for more extreme bitterness later!

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  4. I make sure to denigrate every school event my children get excited for, leave their ipods in the pockets when I do laundry for the ingrates and constantly bash their pop heroes. Also talk about the end times and std’s at the dinner table. But I’d be all for a school so I don’t have to spend so much time training them–the ingrates.

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    • There are a lot of good parents who teach their children correct bitter priniciples and for that I am bitterly greatful. But for those parents that don’t take the time to properly bitter their children there is my school which will fill in the gaps for the children that don’t get the proper bitter training from home.

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  5. Someone from the DoE saw heard about your school, and they are currently working on the standardized Bitter Tests for when the President passes the “No Child Left Unbitter” act. You will hate having to give these tests. But you’ll have to do it anyway. You will spend all your time preparing for these tests, which really aren’t all great at proving bitterness. Just a heads up.

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  7. Who was holding the video camera when this kid took a “HEADER?” Yowie Zowie. We will all wonder if she makes it to age 3. Oh… and they ALWAYS blame the mom. I must admit, being a “Mutha” made me bitter. ;-(

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  8. How long did it take you to come up with the B.I.T.T.E.R. acronym … I have no kids, but I don’t want my imaginary kids bitter, so they will play with your kids at recess but not learn at the school… is that cool?

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  9. AHA, now I’m well versed – you still want it?
    You could start training with guinea-pigs they are easy to breed and multipy in highspeed. When I read about your awesome school I deeply reget that I cant accept any authority :-/

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  10. Although education is crucially important, do not over look the importance of the home environment. I am the mother of two boys (still sweet and funny and happy. I have my work cut out for me), and I believe that with the proper support, I could shape them in to excellent Bitter Future Leaders. They speak 3 languages each, and would make amazing emissaries of bitterness.

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    • Languages are important to the B.I.T.T.E.R. school of Bitterness. Our kids need to be confused by other languages in order to get more bitter. However, I do believe that your kids could eventually grow into a comfortable amount of bitterness with a lot of specialized attention.

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  12. I have a teenage daughter who is turning 17 today, whom I am volunteering to be the Principal of the Bitter School. She has a PHD in Bitterness and numerous Bitterness Awards. Shall I have her send you her resume?

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