This is how people from the old days found out about things. It’s called a “newspaper”.
If you are from Seattle, maybe you have heard of this travesty of a blog called the “Bitter Barista”. I don’t want to get this dude any more famous than he already is, but he is this guy who works at a coffee shop who started a blog about things that made him bitter while at work. They would just be short sentences about how he poisoned someone’s coffee or stole change from a little girl and told their mom that she was irresponsible for not watching her daughter’s money, stuff like that. Then, of course, he got fired from his executive barista position and it was reported in the “newspaper”. I know that many of you have never heard of the “newspaper”, but it was this old timey thing that reported all the news before Google and the internet were invented. Anyways, this so called “Bitter Barista”, got all kinds of credit for being fired and all of a sudden got Seattle famous for his blog. And of course, his phone is ringing off the hook for all kinds of job offers from other coffee companies offering him an equally lucrative offer of barista at their coffee shops. This guy does not make me bitter.
Seattle is famous for two things in this picture. Coffee and Pike Place public market fish throwing. I propose we start a combination of the two called scalding hot coffee throwing. (The third thing we are famous for is rain, which is not actually not pictured here. This photo was taken on our yearly “sun day”.)
Some people take the time to think about things they are bitter about, and talk about them in clever ways. Some people just write things they are bitter about in not clever ways, get fired and get more publicity for their blogs. It almost makes we want to walk up to the CEO of my wonderful company and ask to be fired, so I can get a lucrative offer to do a “Ben’s Bitter Blog Book”, but then I realize that I would be getting famous for being lame. And I would be accused of trying to copy the “Bitter Coffee” guy blog, even though I clearly started my bitter blog long before this bitter wanna be.
They say that the definition of bitterness is being “this close” to getting exactly what you want. Well, in that case this bitter dude does not make me bitter. I am more bitter about just about everything else from the “Academy Awards” to zebra colors. On the bitter scale, this dude doesn’t even rank in the top 1 billion things that I am bitter about. Just making sure I do a lengthly post about how little bitterness I have about this guy.
Ehhhhh
Bitter Ben
P.S. Speaking of the Academy Awards, I live tweeted about them last night on Twitter.com. If you want to see my bitter observations, check out my twitter account, https://twitter.com/Benadman
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Ben's Bitter Blog 
Lol!!!!! Ha. You found your bitter soul mate- the barista no less! 😛
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Pretty funny how I don’t even drink coffee and don’t know any barista’s and yet this ding dong gets a book deal because he got fired. I guess I need to do something stupid to get a book deal.
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If my town only had one day of sun per year, I also would be (more) bitter. Then I would steal your idea and call my blog Mo’ Bitter Blues, because that is not racist, and racist is bad. But then again, you clearly like the dark, so maybe it’s good that it’s cloudy there. Maybe you could take up coalmining? That’s super dark.
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I am also lazy so coal mining wouldn’t be good for me.
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Bitter blog…bitter coffee…funny stuff.
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Bitter post…I tend to us that word a lot. Not sure why…
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Mmmmm poisoned coffee. What’s not to love?
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I really appreciate his stealing money from little kids too.
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lol i’m not a gentleman.i’m a girl.and i retired at 28, after 2 years.
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I wish I could retire at 28. Then I would have retired already.
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i wish i was a sit down or stand up comedian like you.
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Yes, everyone wishes they could be a sit down comedian like me. The pay is lousy, but guess what you are gonna be sending me two mill, so I’m good.
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i guess you have the confidence that i will win 2 million at the track jack.
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There’s a haiku you could write.
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i could: haiku february is almost over and i have too many left. i have 5 haiku just for how much i don’t like yahoo email.
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I don’t know anything about Yahoo mail as I actually have a gmail account.
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you will know something about yahoo mail soon.i only have one haiku day left.
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So you were doing a haiku a day for Feb? I had no idea that was going on. So are you going to give up Haiku’s for good after Feb?
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that’s what i was doing but since i have ocd i may not be able to stop.lol…i like to write about tv , but people in other countries don’t have american tv and they seem to like haiku.
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But you will write about other stuff too?
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i think so…i was just thinking you can turn tv into haiku and it’s a lot less typing . typing makes me very bitter.. and then i would have time to find somewhere to live and be aggravated by lawyers. i only have 3 months, before i have to leave this winter rental.
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I hear “getting famous for being lame” is no fun. Kim Kardashian hates it.
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Yeah, you should see her cry about it.
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How you hold yourself from being bitter about that wannabee is beyond me. Am on limited internet, so can’t check out your Tweets. Macfarlane was lame. Wanted to stick an eye pick into not one, but both of my eyes.
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At least when you are blind you won’t have to see how crappy the awards shows are….I had a lot of fun at the end live blogging bitter things about it. I can’t explain how fun it is to make fun of celebrities. I think Jennifer Lawrence kind of fell into that award….:)
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Uh, he sounds like a person I would never want to work with. I was the manager of Settle’s Best in Borders (which was technically not a real position as there was supposed to be someone above me that oversaw two areas, but there was no one and I did that job so MANAGER I was :p) Anyway… you make fucking coffee bro, it’s easy and people suck. You are always gonna get some neurotic fuck that’s like “ohhhhhh let me tell you how to make a capachino”… yeahhhhhhhh you want cream in that it’s a fucking latte, but to make a blog about being a kind of shitty barista that’s mad at the customers and not the fact that you are stuck in a dead end job that brings joy to people that basically need an IV in their arm filled with caffeine, is ridiculous and kind of sad. Unbitter on my friend.
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I get the part about him wanting to blog about stuff. But I don’t get the getting fired so he can get a book deal thing. And also getting famous for getting fired. It’s one thing to do a blog and get followers because your stuff is good, but a wholely different thing to get famous for getting fired. His blog is garbage and he is probably going to get a book deal out of it. Meanwhile both of our blogs are good and we can barely get anyone to read our good stuff.
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You read my stuff and I read your stuff, that’s enough for me 🙂 but yes I understand… well get yourself fired and then get a book deal, then be like YOU GUYS ARE SO STUPID TO LIKE ME ONLY CAUSE I GOT FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was under the impression people didn’t like others in retail to bitch about them, apparently that is where I went wrong, should have had a blog working at Borders. 😛
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I would love to see you Bitter Borders Blog. That would be funny. It’s true about the followers though. As long as you have your own small group, it is better anyways.
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:p It would have been a great blog, now it’s just memories of people shitting on the floor, and people asking for special lattes while the manager is puking in the trashcan in the back. (ohhhhh was that me?!)
🙂 I like my small group.
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Yeah being famous would just be too much work. I prefer to just be rich.
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Me too. Me too.
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He prolly makes crappy, bitter coffee anyway. 😉
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Yeah. He probably laces it with cyanide too.
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This is the first I’ve heard of this Bitter Barista… His bitterness hasn’t made it to the Midwest yet. …That or I live under a rock.
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Good. I hope he stays in the local area buried under a pile of fish and coffee and rain.
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i’m thinking a person who is old enough to know what a newspaper is, may be old enough to watch abc.
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I watch ABC, just not CBS. CBS is for old people.
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yes, hawaii 5 0, mike and molly ,2 broke girls are for old people…
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You are correct! Those are definitely older skewing shows!
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i didn’t say the good wife or letterman , b/c i know what you would say, but hawaii 5 0? really? if you look that up here, 2 weeks ago, i was there and everyone had pictures of the star…5 minutes with 8 different smiles…
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You mean Hawaii 50? Yeah for 50 year olds.
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i believe you are thinking of the 1st hawaii five 0…50 years ago…ray barone calls it hawaii bing bough.
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Who’s Ray Barone? He calls it Bing Bough?
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everybody loves ray. i guess it comes on cbs.lol
he said in china that’s what they call hawaii 5 0, but i can’t find that on google.
of course i can’t find anything on google and that makes me bitter.
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Someone needs to teach you how to google. It’s a bitter process, but at least it isn’t Bing.
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yes someone needs to teach me. how did you know. every time i go there it turns into 4 hours of not finding something and then my neck hurts.
if i had a dollar for every time i was asked if i ever use bing i would have 2 million dollars.
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2 million would be just enough to get me to jettison my friends into space.
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i don’t think they would like that very much, but then they would be the jettison jetsons.probably another show from cbs, you didn’t watch.
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Gentlemen, enough of the 50+ bashing!!!!!! Why are u two so bitter about us??? Is it because at 51 some of us retired and can now do whatever we want like read others comments??? 🙂 Just playing with you. Ps: I like mike and Molly.
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I am very bitter that you are retired and can read comments and I have to work. Arrrgghhh!
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