I love the response my gifts ellicit!
I’m packing up my bitterness in a suitcase and flying off to someplace a little sunnier. As my parting gift to both of my loyal followers, and coal for those that don’t read all the time, or don’t enjoy reading it, I am leaving you with one last blog before I do my next blog post, which could be tommorow, or it could be New Years. You never know, because I am crazy like that.
Though I do enjoy the occasional sunlight (despite what many of you think, all of us in Seattle aren’t sparkly vampires) and not working for 11 days makes me smile(a bitter smile however) leaving also makes me bitter. As a person of laziness, some vacations like this make you work. First, you have to pack things, for seven days. When I wake up in the morning, I have no idea what I am going to wear. Why would my vacation expect me to now know what the heck to pack for seven days? I think seven pairs of underwear are required, but as for the rest? Do I wear shirts or do I wear sweatshirts? Shorts or pants? All these decisions are making my head spin!
This is the short trip from Alaska to Russia. Lot better than the walk to Orlando.
Then there is getting there. Orlando is a long ways away. I suppose I could walk there, but I am not particulary fond of walking. I mean it is so exhausting walking from my chair at home to the kitchen. Why would I want to transition from that to a 3000 mile jaunt across the country? I think it would be easier to walk to Russia. Don’t they have some bridge in Alaska that goes there? I suppose we could drive, but that is exhausting too. I mean that is a lot of work putting your foot on a gas pedal for that long. And from what I have heard it takes over a whole day to drive 3000 miles! What a waste! I think it is time for car to be able to drive the speed of light so we can get places faster. Don’t you think that would be safer? Less driver fatigue. And as you have seen in a previous post, airplanes make me bitter. Enough said.
Then there is the issue of food. I don’t know about you, but when I am doing something fun or anything for that matter, I want to keep doing it. But for some reason, I have to stop in the middle of things and eat something. Why is eating always interupting? It is so rude! Do I come to dinner and interupt it with television? Yes, I do. But I at least ask nicely before I so rudely interupt it. For some reason, amusement parks such as Disney or Universal charge different amounts of money than they do in my grocery store. In fact, I have never seen an episode of Extreme Coupon at Disneyland. Don’t they want some publicity for this little known amusement park? Coupons would definitely help.
Disney needs to allow more of this. You know, coupon diving.
As I mentioned before, Disney doesn’t provide any transportation at the park. No hover boards, no Segways, not even skateboards. They expect you to walk. I thought we went over this, Disney. Me, chair, kitchen, too far. Why would I want to walk the equivelant of a supermarathon over 5 days? Get me a tram and let’s get this amusement over with! So in short, I hope that everyone else has a good week doing what everyone seems to be celebrating. I’ve seen lots of lights and the malls seem to be on the busier side. Not sure what all the hype is about, but whatever it is I hope you enjoy it while I get some sun or something.
At least Disney could have these for Tommorowland. It’s not 2015 yet, but they should be standard by then right? You’ve got three years Disney…
Arrgghhh
Bitter Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I want eleven days off and a hover board (not that you are getting a hover board but you get it)… I am getting neither so walk around merrily you could be stuck in a desolate office babysitting a phone that refuses to ring like I am.
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I am back from my vacation now, so I am bitter that I am not out there walking around. I am now babysitting a phone that won’t stop ringing and I wish I would stop. Seems like we have an opposite problem. 🙂
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Send some of those calls my way. I dont know what you do, or what it is about, but I can b.s. like a mofo. Most of the people calling in today know me and ask how my holiday was. That is fun for about two mins then back to “working” on the comp.
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I think we need to switch jobs, because I am lazy. You would love this job because you can B.S. like a Mofo all you want. And I would enjoy slacking, I mean, working on the computer.
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HHAHAHAH… well I am not saying I don’t love the computer time, it’s just the fact that I’m here alone now while everyone else is on vacation… its driving me up the walls.
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Again I think we need to switch, as I don’t like other people and being alone in an office without a boss would almost be like not working. One time I had to do the work of like 6 people because I was the only one that could drive in snow.
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I do not know how to drive in snow, so that would have to be taught to me, before I could take over your job. It seems like you should have taught them to do the same!
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Well growing up in South Dakota teaches you in a hurry. If you are bored at work you can always read my blog. Or if you have trouble sleeping. I have so kindly attached the link just in case. http://www.bensbitterblog.wordpress.com. I’m just that nice.
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That was very kind of you. 🙂
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And it was very kind of you to follow. Have fun doing nothing at your job. 🙂
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HHAHHA I sound so very lazy! Thank you… and I will read your blog in between the moments when my bosses stop walking by as they are actually here its just us.
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I promise to believe that you aren’t lazy! 🙂
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😀 thank you.
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I’ve provided something new for you to read today. That will at least give you one thing to do today.
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12-18 miles per day. That is how much we walked when we were in Disney this past October. Enjoy! 😉 I’m looking forward to all the bitter posts your trip will surely inspire.
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I am thinking about doing a post a day for each park we go to once I return. One for each park, which would be 6, 4 for Disney and 2 for Universal. There is plenty of fuel for each so far…
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As if you didn’t have enough shit to be bitter about, I present the Liebster!! http://fatbottomgirlsaidwhat.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/i-never-win-nothin/
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Thank you so much for the nomination, but I hardly think that I inspire anyone. Thanks for thinking of me anyways. I really enjoy your blog!
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You inspire laughter in me, and to me, laughter is one of the most important things this life has to offer. As for me, I will take it where I can find it. 🙂 And I am glad you enjoy my insanity.
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Disney sucks… how dare they not provide hover-boards? See, and I am from Texas and I am a sparkly vamp. 😉
Until next time!
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As a Twilight killer, you are my next target. I only kill sparkly vampires and people that don’t have hoverboards.
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Then I am bed. But my Twilight skill is a ninja. And not having a hoverboard isn’t my fault. I tried to get one and because I was faster than them they denied me.
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I don’t know why Disney needs to wait till 2015 for the hoverboard when they already had a jetpack built before WW2 for “The Rocketeer.” They have just been sitting on that technology. Now that’s something to be bitter about.
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