I watch a lot of television because it is a diversion. It distracts me from being productive and efficient and worthwhile. Anything that can distract me from doing something is a good thing. I want to thank Filo T. Farnsworth and others who helped pioneer television and of course all the networks for paying for all the production costs that are necessary for allowing me to sit around and being a slug. The only difference between me and a slug is that slug occasionally move. Of course, the people of TV realized that somehow some way they would need someone to pay for the productions costs and fancy actors and actresses, so they invented advertising, which companies pay valuable money so that they can put their product on in front of not only one set of eyeballs but multiple eyeballs at one time. It is efficient and cost effective and smart right? So since it worked one time for one company, other people decided it would be cool for them too. So what started happening was that more and more ads were being placed on TV and someone wanted to try something that would help them stick out more. So they tried billboards and radio and internet and magazines and any type of mass media there was. That wasn’t enough so they tried sponsoring places like stadiums. Advertising make me so bitter and let me tell you why.
They have not done enough. I don’t just want to see 8 minutes of advertising per half hour television program. I want 15 minimum. And I want magazines that are not just 70% ads, I want 90%. And for every video you watch on Youtube, I want them to have to watch a commercial every 30 seconds. I want advertising in more places. I want them plastered on every building, car, subway, hen house, out house. I want them on football uniforms, basketball uniforms, and I want teams named after products and with small writing I want to see the city the team represents. I want everyone walking down the street to be wearing shirts covered with hundreds of ads. And if they don’t they will get fined. People in advertising are too nice of people to have their work ignored. And what about all these hard working companies that don’t get the recognition they deserve. Like for instance, if I showed you a picture of big golden arches, would you believe that they symbol stands for McDonalds? How about a swoosh mark? Yeah, that is NIKE. If I hadn’t told you that, how would these little known companies make any money? It is making me so bitter right now thinking about little known companies like GM, and Microsoft, and Nintendo and not getting any publicity because we aren’t finding enough ways for them to thrive.
Besides, the more advertising we see of a company the more we like them. Especially the ones that do bad advertising. Isn’t it so endearing? I mean I can’t remember that last time I laughed so hard when I was watching a Hallmark commercial. What with their dear stories of using cards as a way of keeping in touch and blah, blah, blah. I love their use of sarcasm. And the emotional Apple ads where we were told the difference between a PC and Mac. How could one not be moved to tears by these heart felt pieces of art?
I understand the bitterness we might feel about advertising not be as much a part of our lives as I could be. Let lobby congress for more ads in more places and stand up for our freedom to have them in our lives. I propose we start calling it Bittertising. And while we are at it, can we see some Christmas ads sooner? I’m thinking early August. People need more time to get into the holidays! Please make more ads or I will start being so very bitter!
Bitter “Nike” Ben