Yeah, yeah water is good and essential to life and has no calories, blah, blah.  It cleans our clothes and our dishes and cleanses.  But let’s talk about all the bitter things and I’m sure you will agree with me that we should be way more bitter about water.  First, how about when you are drinking some water out of a cup that is super cool and it sweats on the outside?  First, can’t water just stay on the inside of the cup? Why must it also invade the outside of the cup?  So when you go for a drink the water isn’t happy with staying on the cup.  It has to then drip on the shirt that you are wearing and get it all wet.  ARRRRGGGHH!  How about this as an example.  You are having a nice day and it is all sunny and you just want to enjoy the warmth when all of a sudden out of nowhere you decide to jump in a pool and realize that not only is it filled with water, but it decides to make you all wet!  I mean all I want to do is cool down a little and water promises that it will cool you down, but then it makes you wet and requires that you mix chlorine with it!  How about the whole mixing thing that water is always doing?  Try to make say lemonade or cherry limeade without water!  No, water just push itself on you whereever you go.  And how about the earth?  I mean the planet is named after a substance that is dry and it just want to occupy some space, but water just goes and takes up 75% of the earth and growing!  Even parts where we have dry land, water just manipulates the fact that you are thirsty and you just want a drink of guess what…..water.   I can’t even be human without having 90% of myself being water.  Can’t water just go and leave me alone.  And without water I can’t live more than three days.  I think that water is just selfish not allowing me to live longer than three days without it.  I mean here we are thinking that we are free to do whatever we want and no one can be the boss of us, but then water comes along and says, “Nope you can’t live without me!”  Water makes me so bitter, I just want to punch it in the face, but then i would go and get revenge on me by flooding my house and starting a tsunami and drowning me in a pool of it.  You may say call water lifegiving, I call water a revengeful overlord and master of us all.  ARRRRGGHH!!

Bitter Ben