One of my favorite things to do while on vacation is to go to movies with my son. Because no one appreciates the low cost of going to a movie more than a son that thinks we can just buy a new TV if he accidentally chucks a video game controller right through the screen(he hasn’t done it yet, but he’s trying). For instance, I bet you didn’t know that for only 2000 pennies, you can receive your very own cup, and for just 2000 more pennies you can get a great big heaping of carbonated sugar water that will go to utter waste in only two hours. Then if you are lucky, they will take the kernels off some corn on the cob, dry them up, force them to come out of their shells, then drown them into a some yellow butter flavored liquidy stuff on there for another 300 dimes.
What more could you ask for when you are only paying $12 per person to experience the amazing LD quality screens and sticky gum filled floors only available in the comfort of your home? My favorite part is that you only get the reminders of not getting to use your cell phones every other minute. Who wouldn’t want an illegal copy of a terrible movie recorded from a cell phone, right?
After watching the latest X-Men movie with the boy, I asked him how he liked it. Even at the advanced age of 6, he could tell the movie was terrible because there wasn’t “enough fighting”. Sure there was a baseball stadium completely ripped from the ground and placed around the White House like a castle wall. And yeah, there was the almost complete extinction of the X-Men and humans in the future, but there just wasn’t enough fighting. There was just too much “talk” about fighting. Mutants vs. Humans. Mutants vs. Mutants. Mutants vs. Sentinals. US vs. Vietnam. Mutants vs. JFK. Why can’t we just start a fist fight for goodness sake instead of just talking about it?
What I want to know is why can’t we just do more realistic films. Films where we get slighted over and over again, and we just think about the terrible things but just not do them and become bitter? And why do all these movies have so much conflict? Why can’t we have more bitter films where the bad guy just keeps getting away with it and the good guys just play it safe for once. Not be the hero. Or better yet, how about we do a film about the bystander in NYC that “had a good run”, but in the end, just became one of the collateral damage of the heroes winning and destroying half of New York. What about those guys? Hey, maybe that guy just wanted to follow his dream of being a rock star, but just never got the courage up, and just happened to be a bystander when the Transformers were fighting in the streets of LA? Or he was going to get his 2 year accounting certificate so he could make $2 hour more so he could get a 65 inch plasma, but was caught in the streets of DC when the GI Joes and Cobras were fighting?
They say actions are louder than words(as you can tell by the volume of Action movies) and pictures are worth a thousand words (so how much are moving pictures worth) so that means that Action movies are loud and really wordy. In the end, can’t we all just stop fighting in Action movies(punching, kicking, sword fighting, gun shooting) and fighting in Romantic “Comedies” (accusing, backstabbing, confronting, cheating, breaking up, moving away) and just be a little more civially..bitter at each other? Why does every movie have to have Conflict and Resolution? Why can’t we just leave the bitterness intact deep down and not resolve it every time?
Bitter Non Confrontational Ben